I AM ALWAYS LIABLE
Senior Member
With the music to Laugh-In in the background, and me opening up one of those silly psychadelic doors, I say :
WHAT ARE SOME GAMES FOR OLD FOLKS ?
1. Sag, you're it.
2. Pin the toupee on the bald guy.
3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear.
4. Kick the bucket.
5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.
6. Doc Doc Goose.
7. Simon says something incoherent.
8. Hide and go pee.
9. Spin the Bottle of Mylanta.
10. Musical Recliners.
Old is when...
...Your sweetie says "Let's go upstairs and make love"
and you answer, "Honey, I can't do both!"
...Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.
...A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door.
...Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
...You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
...You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of the police.
...Getting "a little action" means you don't need to take any fiber today.
..."Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.
... An "all-nighter" means not getting up to pee.
Signs of Menopause
1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale.
2. Your husband jokes that instead of buying a wood-stove, he's using you to heat the family room this winter.
Rather than just saying you are not amused, you shoot him.
3. You write post-it notes with your kids' names on them.
4. Your husband chirps, "Hi honey, I'm home." And you reply, "Well if it ain't Ozzie freakin' Nelson."
5. The Phenobarbital dose that wiped out the Heaven's Gate Cult gives you four hours of decent rest.
6. You find guacamole in your hair after a Mexican dinner.
7. You change your underwear after every sneeze.
8. You need the Jaws of Life to help you out of your car after returning from an Italian restaurant.
9. You take a sudden interest in "Wrestlemania".
10. You're on so much estrogen that you take your Brownie troop on a field trip to Chippendales.
WHAT ARE SOME GAMES FOR OLD FOLKS ?
1. Sag, you're it.
2. Pin the toupee on the bald guy.
3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear.
4. Kick the bucket.
5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.
6. Doc Doc Goose.
7. Simon says something incoherent.
8. Hide and go pee.
9. Spin the Bottle of Mylanta.
10. Musical Recliners.
Old is when...
...Your sweetie says "Let's go upstairs and make love"
and you answer, "Honey, I can't do both!"
...Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.
...A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door.
...Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
...You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
...You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of the police.
...Getting "a little action" means you don't need to take any fiber today.
..."Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.
... An "all-nighter" means not getting up to pee.
Signs of Menopause
1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale.
2. Your husband jokes that instead of buying a wood-stove, he's using you to heat the family room this winter.
Rather than just saying you are not amused, you shoot him.
3. You write post-it notes with your kids' names on them.
4. Your husband chirps, "Hi honey, I'm home." And you reply, "Well if it ain't Ozzie freakin' Nelson."
5. The Phenobarbital dose that wiped out the Heaven's Gate Cult gives you four hours of decent rest.
6. You find guacamole in your hair after a Mexican dinner.
7. You change your underwear after every sneeze.
8. You need the Jaws of Life to help you out of your car after returning from an Italian restaurant.
9. You take a sudden interest in "Wrestlemania".
10. You're on so much estrogen that you take your Brownie troop on a field trip to Chippendales.