Sacramento, CA. I'm a single mother. I have a 5 yr. old daughter. My ex and I have been split apart for 3 yrs. I filed papers 2 yrs. ago for the divorce. So I thought we were divorced until I found out that he did not fulfill his part even though he told me he had. We have 50/50 custody. He is 23 and recently moved into a home with 4 other 20 something males. All of which drink. He is sharing a room with my daughter. I do not approve of this living situation. I am concerned for her safety and mental well being. She is a little too old to be sharing a room with her father. In general he is a good father so I'm not looking for full custody unless it's necessary. I just don't want her spending the night there. I am concerned with the innapropriate atmosphere she may be exposed to. Any assistance provided would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
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Innapropriate living situation
- Thread starter trabical
- Start date
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Umm...okay...maybe I'm going to get killed on this one but...other than the dad living with several other 20 year olds, and the drinking (IF it's like, non-stop rowdy partying or something), 'my' issue is with...just what's wrong with 5 year old daughter sleeping with her dad? I mean...assuming 'dad' is appropriately attired for it.
This is the part I may get beat up for here...we have three grandsons who come to spend nights/weekends on occasion. Their ages are 8, 9, 9. When they do visit (and there IS other sleeping accommodations for them), they like to sleep in 'our' bed with gramma at night. Yes, all three of them. 'I' end up in the 'other' sleeping accommodations. That's the way it has been since they were born. It makes them happy. They watch TV with gramma, have snacks, until they all fall asleep. They all sleep in the bed with gramma until morning. This is like, 2 nights over a weekend. Gramma wears her long pajamas, so do the boys. If and when the boys do stay any longer than that, I don't give up 'my' sleeping spot, and they do sleep in the other bedrooms and beds provided. We just seeing not a thing in the world wrong with it! 'When', will that end? Probably another year or so.
This is the part I may get beat up for here...we have three grandsons who come to spend nights/weekends on occasion. Their ages are 8, 9, 9. When they do visit (and there IS other sleeping accommodations for them), they like to sleep in 'our' bed with gramma at night. Yes, all three of them. 'I' end up in the 'other' sleeping accommodations. That's the way it has been since they were born. It makes them happy. They watch TV with gramma, have snacks, until they all fall asleep. They all sleep in the bed with gramma until morning. This is like, 2 nights over a weekend. Gramma wears her long pajamas, so do the boys. If and when the boys do stay any longer than that, I don't give up 'my' sleeping spot, and they do sleep in the other bedrooms and beds provided. We just seeing not a thing in the world wrong with it! 'When', will that end? Probably another year or so.
LdiJ
Senior Member
Ron1347 said:
Honestly...that really is "pushing the envelope" in my opinion (not as bad since its three of them as it would be if it was just one)......however a campout in the living room with grandma sleeping on the couch and the boys in sleeping bags on the floor would not be pushing the envelope....maybe you should consider "moving the party" to the living room to transition them into sleeping in their own spots.
beenthere30
Member
Oh please how is 3 kids sleeping in the bed with grandma occasionally pushing the envelope. That is your own opinion. It depends how the family is raised. I think it takes a sick mind to think that anything is wrong with that innocent picture. I was raised in a close family we would occasionally camp out in my parents room for the nights. My brothers and I would always fall asleep in each others beds if we were up late talking and fell asleep. Yes there are sicko's out there but to make a blanket statement like that is just one person's opinion. Shoot when I go home my dad sleeps on the couch and I share the bed with my mom. And I am 28.
LdiJ
Senior Member
beenthere30 said:
I didn't say that there was anything wrong with it....The 4 of us often slept with our grandparents too.....However, in this day and age its necessary to consider appearances and its getting close to the time when some other night time issues may begin arising for the boys....those other issues were my main reasons for saying "pushing the envelope".
I hope you get my drift because I REALLY don't want to be more explicit than that.
beenthere30
Member
lol I get your drift there. I also know that people try to make children sleeping in parents/grandparents bed seem disgusting. I had one lady yell at me at my kids b-day party because she over heard my 5 year old daughter tell her friend that because it was her birthday she got to sleep in mommies bed. The lady acted insane and my daughter was confused why anyone would think it was bad for her to do so. Growing up for me it was as natural as sleeping in my own bed and to this day I am very close with my parents and brothers. I want that for my children as well.
BelizeBreeze
Senior Member
First off, let's get this discussion back to the ISSUES .trabical said:
If you have a temporary custody / visitation order from the court then you MUST follow it. If not, then tell dad that the child does not visit until the court orders you to allow it.
Second, 6 is not too old to sleep in the same bed as a parent, either male or female. You are injecting your morals and uptight feelings onto other people and it won't work. I suggest you discuss this issue with three or more child psychologists and see how many different opinions you get.
