INTENTIONAL INFLICTION OF EMOTIONAL DISTRESS, harboring my runaway daughter

[motherNneed]

What is the name of your state? California
My daughter, at the time 14 yrs old (now 15), ran away from home, because I filed for a temporary restraining order against her (then) 43 yr old male friend (now 44).
At the court proceedings for the temp restraining order, the friend, Mr. B, served me with a slander suit. I did not have a lawyer, and lost the permanent restraining order. I have suspected that Mr. B is aiding my daughter to stay a runaway, but have been unable to prove it with photos and such. She has been listed as a runaway since Jan 2006.
I have involved local authorities, but have not had much help. CPS has been involved, because of the suspected inappropriateness of the relationship between my daughter and Mr. B.. The CPS investigator has told me of her opinion of the relationship, and what she has put in her official report as to the nature of their relationship. This is a paraphrase of what was told to me by the lady from CPS, the two of them are having, or have had sex.
In June 2006, Mr. B filed for guardianship of my daughter. I have a recorded phone message from my daughter stating, "(Mr.B) will drop the slander suit if you give him guardianship of me". Mr.B has tied up all of our finances in these two suits. Myself, my husband, and my children (especially my other 2 teen aged children), have been under extreme emotional distress because of this situation. I have spent months worried about my runaway daughter, her well being, her education, and her future. I have been put through the ringer fighting this Mr. B, and trying to keep him from my daughter.
I honestly feel that Mr. B has filed these suits to intentionally deplete my family's finances, so he can acquire my daughter. I have recently discovered that someone has seen the two of them together, arm in arm, holding hands, at an amusement park. This person has given their statement under penalty of perjury. I have also recently acquired a cell phone that Mr. B bought for my daughter (during the time she has been a runaway). These are the only proof that I have, that he has had contact with my daughter, and has known of her where abouts, while she has been a runaway.
My questions are: Can I file intentional infliction of emotional distress against him? Are there any other actions I can take against him, criminal or other wise?
What is the name of your state?

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

I have a hard time believing this story.

 

[seniorjudge]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intentional_infliction_of_emotional_distress

Good article...read it.

 

[motherNneed]

Shay-Pari'e
Believe you me, I have a hard time believing this all too. I am more then willing to speak with you personally, and give you all the details. this is why I want to file Intentional infliction of Emotional Distress. I have been crying my eye out and have been emotionally distraught because of the absurdity of this whole thing. I have begged for help with this, but have been unable to find any. Everyone who should be doing something about this, keeps passing the buck.
If you would like, I can give you my email address and my phone# (via my email, I will not post # here) and I can tell you everything. It is an unbelievable situation.

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

Shay-Pari'e
Believe you me, I have a hard time believing this all too. I am more then willing to speak with you personally, and give you all the details. this is why I want to file Intentional infliction of Emotional Distress. I have been crying my eye out and have been emotionally distraught because of the absurdity of this whole thing. I have begged for help with this, but have been unable to find any. Everyone who should be doing something about this, keeps passing the buck.
If you would like, I can give you my email address and my phone# (via my email, I will not post # here) and I can tell you everything. It is an unbelievable situation.

Start from the beginning, and give nothing but facts and who has been involved.

 

[motherNneed]

SeniorJudge
Do you know of any cases that could support my situation, as it is stated in the article you posted?
"Intentional act
The intent of the act need not be to bring about emotional distress. A reckless disregard for the likelihood of causing emotional distress is sufficient. For example, where a defendant refused to inform a plaintiff of the whereabouts of her child for several years, though that defendant knew where the child was the entire time, the defendant could be held liable for IIED even though he had no intent to cause distress to the parent."

 

[motherNneed]

Wow, this is going to take alot of writing.
Give me a few minute to write.

 

[motherNneed]

OK. My daughter R was introduced to a nieghbor down the street by one of her friends, K. My daughter R is ADHD and ODD (I have documentation from Kaiser w/ diagnosis).
R began to spend a lot of time with her new friend and K. I knew the friend K, and didn't feel comfortable w/ her. I felt she might be a bad influence on R. When I found out about the new friend, now known as Mr. B, I told R I didn't feel comfortable with her seeing him, being he is an adult single male of 43 yrs and she is a 13 yr old girl. She, being defiant, continued to she Mr. B. I then told her, I wanted to meet Mr. B. Mr. B showed up at my door one day with out notice. He seemed to be a nice person, well groomed, well mannered.
Within a few days of this meeting, my neighbors came to me with concern. They told me they had seen R talking to a guy on my porch, and that they had seen this guy several times walking past my house at all hours of the night (even after midnight). my one nieghbor told me she had been speaking with my daughter R about a guy she liked. My nieghbor felt this was the same guy visiting my daughter.
I again confronted my daughter R, and told her not to have guy over to the house, and not to see him. About 2-3 weeks after that, I came home early from work, unexpectedly. It was the second to last day of school for R (June of 2005). She should have been home, or at the Boy's and Girl's Club (down the street). R was not home. I went looking for her at the Boy's and Girl's club. They told me they had seen her with an adult male, and pointed to the house they were seen walking towards. I went to the house. No one answered. Once off the property, my daughter came up behind me, out of no where. She was dressed very inappropriately, cleavage hanging out, and behind checks hanging out of shorts. (Not the type of clothing I allow my daughters to wear.) I was upset. i knew where she had been and who she had been with. I told her to go home, and that she was in big trouble.
Now I am not going to lie. I made an unwise choice. I decided to spank R with a belt. One swat. It struck her checks hanging out of her shorts and made a red mark. R ran down the street to her friend K's house (who by the way, lives 2 doors down from Mr. B). R told me I couldn't tell her who she could be friends with and who she couldn't be friends with. She said she was running away.
I spoke with Mr.B, and asked him, very kindly, if he could please not see my daughter for a while. I told him i did not feel comfortable with thier friendship. I would like to get to know him (Mr. B) a little better before he spent any more time with R. He agreed. I went to K's house and spoke with the parents. They were not willing to help, but were willing to take in R. I called the police to try to get R back home. K's family called the police on me for child abuse. The police came out and took reports. with in a week CPS came out and did an investigation. I was cleared of any abuse. I explained to CPS the situation, and the investigator felt uncomfortable about it too. She said ahe would look into it more. In the mean time I was told by CPS and the police, to call anytime I found out that the two of them had been or were together. Then at some point, get a restrainnig order against Mr. B. So, that is what I did. By Dec. 2005 I felt that I had enough evidence to file a restraining order. Mr. B was served on Dec 7, 2005. R ranway again to K's house on the 8th. The very day she found out about the restraining order.

 

[motherNneed]

Since I knew where R was, she wasn't realy a runaway. However, she would not return home. She was staying just 2 doors down from the person I had a restraining order on. I later found out, and have a declaration of, that the male guardian of K allowed my daughter R to spend the night at Mr. B house during the time of the temp restraining order.
We went to court right after Christmas to make the orders permenant. I did not have a lawyer. the judge flat out told me, if I wanted to make these orders permemant, i should have gotten a lawyer. the permenant orders were denied. It was at this point, Mr. B served me with the Slander suit.
R continued to stay at K's house, until Jan. 25, 2006. The parents of K, got upset with R, because of what they had seen between R and Mr. B. In His (guardian of K) words,"What they are doing is plain sick." They told R she had to go home, and they were going to walk her home. R said no, ran out the door, and straight into Mr. B's house. She was last seen by K's family, gettin into Mr. B's truck and driving off. I filed a missing person's report with the local police.
R would call early on, to cuse me out, but that began to become few and few. It was one of these phone calls, that R stated that Mr. B would drop his suit for Slander, if I gave him Guardianship of her. I was not home when she called, so she left it on my message machine. Around April she stopped calling. I had heard, through the grapevine, that Mr. B had bought her a cell phone. I got the # once, but as soon as R found out I had the #, it was changed.
In June Mr. B file for Ex-parte guardianship of R. I did not have a lawyer. I called CPS and told her what was going on. The lady from CPS showed up to court to testify against Mr. B, on my behalf. The Ex-Parte was denied, but Mr. B filed again. We have been to court several times now for the guardianship. It is now going to trial. Mr. B is claiming child abuse and that R was locked out of the house, and that I kicked her out. These are his grounds. All the while he has been stating that he has no Idea where she is, or how to get a hold of her.
that is the way it has been for a few months now. that is until the other day. On Oct. 18, R was arrested for shop lifting. I was able to bring her home. When we got home, she dropped a cell phone. She said it was hers. I told her she could not go to bed with it in her possession. I told her that if she gave it up willingly to her grandpa, that she would get it back in the morning, but if I had to take it by force, it would not be returned. She told me that I could not take it since it was the property of Mr. B. He had bought it for her, and she was not to give it to anyone. I had to remove it from her pocket for her. i am now in possession of the cell phone. Within about 10 min. She was gone again.
That very weekend, I was told by a local merchant, that R was seen. The person who saw her called me and told me what she had seen. R and Mr. B were at a local amusement park in Anaheim, in line for a roller coaster, right behind this person. this person has known Mr. B for 7 yrs. She also has seen R before she ran away, and has looked at her poster several times at her work , where it is on the door. R and Mr. B were arm in arm with htier hands in R's front pocket of her pull over sweater. R's head was leaned up against Mr. B's shoulder. The witness said, they looked like a couple on a date. I have her signed decloration.
I know I am still leaving some things out, but there is just soooooo much. I tried to tell as many important details as possible, but there are too many thing to tell. if you have questions, or I missed something, ask. I will fill in what ever I have missed.

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

Since I knew where R was, she wasn't realy a runaway. Then why report her as one?

However, she would not return home.Did you go get her 14 year old butt?

She was staying just 2 doors down from the person I had a restraining order on. Restraining order on who, and if she was two doors down, All it took was for you to call the police since you knew where she was.
?

I later found out, and have a declaration of, that the male guardian of K allowed my Who is K?

daughter R to spend the night at Mr. B house during the time of the temp restraining order.Well, you could have gotten your daughter back if you were not so stupid at this point.

We went to court right after Christmas to make the orders permenant. I did not have a lawyer. the judge flat out told me, if I wanted to make these orders permemant, i should have gotten a lawyer. the permenant orders were denied. It was at this point, Mr. B served me with the Slander suit.I GIVE UP! As I stated, your story does not make sense.
R continued to stay at K's house, until Jan. 25, 2006. The parents of K, got upset with R, because of what they had seen between R and Mr. B. In His (guardian of K) words,"What they are doing is plain sick." They told R she had to go home, and they were going to walk her home. R said no, ran out the door, and straight into Mr. B's house. She was last seen by K's family, gettin into Mr. B's truck and driving off. I filed a missing person's report with the local police.
R would call early on, to cuse me out, but that began to become few and few. It was one of these phone calls, that R stated that Mr. B would drop his suit for Slander, if I gave him Guardianship of her. I was not home when she called, so she left it on my message machine. Around April she stopped calling. I had heard, through the grapevine, that Mr. B had bought her a cell phone. I got the # once, but as soon as R found out I had the #, it was changed.
In June Mr. B file for Ex-parte guardianship of R. I did not have a lawyer. I called CPS and told her what was going on. The lady from CPS showed up to court to testify against Mr. B, on my behalf. The Ex-Parte was denied, but Mr. B filed again. We have been to court several times now for the guardianship. It is now going to trial. Mr. B is claiming child abuse and that R was locked out of the house, and that I kicked her out. These are his grounds. All the while he has been stating that he has no Idea where she is, or how to get a hold of her.
that is the way it has been for a few months now. that is until the other day. On Oct. 18, R was arrested for shop lifting. I was able to bring her home. When we got home, she dropped a cell phone. She said it was hers. I told her she could not go to bed with it in her possession. I told her that if she gave it up willingly to her grandpa, that she would get it back in the morning, but if I had to take it by force, it would not be returned. She told me that I could not take it since it was the property of Mr. B. He had bought it for her, and she was not to give it to anyone. I had to remove it from her pocket for her. i am now in possession of the cell phone. Within about 10 min. She was gone again.
That very weekend, I was told by a local merchant, that R was seen. The person who saw her called me and told me what she had seen. R and Mr. B were at a local amusement park in Anaheim, in line for a roller coaster, right behind this person. this person has known Mr. B for 7 yrs. She also has seen R before she ran away, and has looked at her poster several times at her work , where it is on the door. R and Mr. B were arm in arm with htier hands in R's front pocket of her pull over sweater. R's head was leaned up against Mr. B's shoulder. The witness said, they looked like a couple on a date. I have her signed decloration.
I know I am still leaving some things out, but there is just soooooo much. I tried to tell as many important details as possible, but there are too many thing to tell. if you have questions, or I missed something, ask. I will fill in what ever I have missed.

Lady, you are mental.

 

[motherNneed]

No, I am not mental. This situation is however, a bit crazy. Do not miss quote me, I am not saying that I am crazy. I am saying this situation is crazy. This whole thing should have never gotten this far. The people in authority should have done thier job, i.e. the police and the court system.
Between the time of Dec. 8, 2005 and Jan. 25, 2006, I knew she was staying at her friend K's house, 2 doors down from Mr. B's house. Yes, I called the police, to try to have her returned. They would bring her home. Then when we all went to sleep, she would sneak out and be right back at K's house. As long as the adults at K's house were letting her stay, and not sending her home, I couldn't stop it. I also called the police when someone eyewitnessed R talking to Mr. B during the time of the temp restraining order. The police said they could do nothing, since they both denied it. When she was finally asked to leave K's house and go back home, on Jan. 25, 2006, she ran off to Mr. B's house, and they took off together. I no longer knew where she was, thus I called the police and reported her as a runaway.
I do not understand what else I could have done to keep her in my home. How does that make me stupid? How else could I have keept this person from my daughter? The only thing I could have done, was quit my job and hand cuff her to me 24/7. That just isn't feesable. I used the proper method to do what I could to keep him away. I called the police, I got a restraining order. What should I have done?
I would like to add, I do not appriciate you coming down on me so hard. Your last posting was quite mean, to say the least. I am a very nice person, considerate, and caring. I am not "mental" as you say. I am a loving mother, with other children that are productive citizens. I do not do drugs, nor do I have any kind of record. I posted here in hopes of getting some kind of help, or information. If I didn't care about my daughter, I would just let him have her. I love my children, and I want to protect them, even when they don't want to be protected.
I know your next statement is going to be, then why do you want to sue him for emotional distress. My other children in the home have suffered due to the emotional distress this has caused. The financial drain has caused my other children in the home to suffer. I would like to recoupe the money lost, having to deal with this. If it were only for the exact monies paid for lawyer fees and such, that would be fine with me. I am not looking to make a profit, just put back what was taken from my family.

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

No, I am not mental. This situation is however, a bit crazy. Do not miss quote me, I am not saying that I am crazy. I am saying this situation is crazy. This whole thing should have never gotten this far. The people in authority should have done thier job, i.e. the police and the court system.
Between the time of Dec. 8, 2005 and Jan. 25, 2006, I knew she was staying at her friend K's house, 2 doors down from Mr. B's house. Yes, I called the police, to try to have her returned. They would bring her home. Then when we all went to sleep, she would sneak out and be right back at K's house. As long as the adults at K's house were letting her stay, and not sending her home, I couldn't stop it. I also called the police when someone eyewitnessed R talking to Mr. B during the time of the temp restraining order. The police said they could do nothing, since they both denied it. When she was finally asked to leave K's house and go back home, on Jan. 25, 2006, she ran off to Mr. B's house, and they took off together. I no longer knew where she was, thus I called the police and reported her as a runaway.
I do not understand what else I could have done to keep her in my home. How does that make me stupid? How else could I have keept this person from my daughter? The only thing I could have done, was quit my job and hand cuff her to me 24/7. That just isn't feesable. I used the proper method to do what I could to keep him away. I called the police, I got a restraining order. What should I have done?
I would like to add, I do not appriciate you coming down on me so hard. Your last posting was quite mean, to say the least. I am a very nice person, considerate, and caring. I am not "mental" as you say. I am a loving mother, with other children that are productive citizens. I do not do drugs, nor do I have any kind of record. I posted here in hopes of getting some kind of help, or information. If I didn't care about my daughter, I would just let him have her. I love my children, and I want to protect them, even when they don't want to be protected.
I know your next statement is going to be, then why do you want to sue him for emotional distress. My other children in the home have suffered due to the emotional distress this has caused. The financial drain has caused my other children in the home to suffer. I would like to recoupe the money lost, having to deal with this. If it were only for the exact monies paid for lawyer fees and such, that would be fine with me. I am not looking to make a profit, just put back what was taken from my family.

You stated you did not have a lawyer. You had plenty of opportunity to get your child, (Everyone lives on the same street!).

I have a hard time believing that had you called the cops and stated"My 13 yr. old is in a 43 yr.old house, and he won't let me have her", and they did nothing.

 

[lealea1005]

You stated you did not have a lawyer. You had plenty of opportunity to get your child, (Everyone lives on the same street!).

I have a hard time believing that had you called the cops and stated"My 13 yr. old is in a 43 yr.old house, and he won't let me have her", and they did nothing.

I


I have to say that after reading through motherNneeds' entire post, I had the exact same reaction you did.

Also, they've been seen together in public places, correct? Why didn't the "witnesses" alert security at the amusement park?

Not trying to be harsh, but this story is just fishy.

 

[motherNneed]

I did not have a lawyer for the temp restraining order. I was forced to deplete my retirement to obtain a lawyer for the $1 million slander suit and guardianship suit. I can not afford much, so I do not have a very good lawyer. I am doing much of the grunt work myself.
I'm sorry if you can't believe the facts, but that's the way it's been. I called the police. They came out. They asked Mr. B if she was there, he said no. They left. The police keep telling me that as long as my daughter doesn't object, there is nothing they can do. And as long as she says nothing is going on, there is nothing they can do.
No one has to take my word for it. They can check the facts for themselves. I'm telling the truth, this is what's making all this so distressful. The things that have happened have been outrageous. It should have ended when the first police officer went to Mr. B's house, in June 2005, and asked him to stop all contact with my daughter R.

 

[lealea1005]

I did not have a lawyer for the temp restraining order. I was forced to deplete my retirement to obtain a lawyer for the $1 million slander suit and guardianship suit. I can not afford much, so I do not have a very good lawyer. I am doing much of the grunt work myself.
I'm sorry if you can't believe the facts, but that's the way it's been. I called the police. They came out. They asked Mr. B if she was there, he said no. They left. The police keep telling me that as long as my daughter doesn't object, there is nothing they can do. And as long as she says nothing is going on, there is nothing they can do.
No one has to take my word for it. They can check the facts for themselves. I'm telling the truth, this is what's making all this so distressful. The things that have happened have been outrageous. It should have ended when the first police officer went to Mr. B's house, in June 2005, and asked him to stop all contact with my daughter R.

Ok, so there IS a report then. What happened with your witness and "signed declaration"? Have you given that to the police? I would think the "declaration" as well as the hisotry of having the police out there already should mean something.