Interested in what everyone here thinks.

[PRINCESSME]

The main issue, from my perspective, isn't whether or not the mother in this case withheld Christmas Eve visit with contempt or spitefull intentions. The neurotic crusade the father embarked on to carry out his intended
'punishment' on the child is. His exchanges with the mother preceeding the scheduled visit led her to have doubts as to the child's safety and emotional well being. Her 'avoidance' of handing the child over to her father was not a pre-meditated act;it was impulsive. She did not pack up and leave the state, or dissappear for any substantial period of time. I wonder how the shoe would feel if every time a non-custodial parent didn't show up for a visit, if the custodial parent, child in tow, along with the police would go knocking on the NCP's door DEMANDING they take the child for visitation. It wouldn't happen. A loving, nuturing, responsible parent would not subject their child to that trauma.
The mother's rational in this situation is proven by the father's actions. He was so zealous in his desire, not to spend time with his child, but to inflict his hurtful act upon her.
His fanatical actions, by actually bringing the police with him, and being so self righteous as to not think there was something seriously wrong with what he was subjecting his daughter to, believing the police would become his reinforcement, goes to show that there is something seriously deficient in his character. It would concern me to leave a child in his care.
A sane, normal person would be able to put things into perspective, and act accordingly. He obviously lacks the discretionary tools to control his impulsive behavior.
That is not a conducive emotional enviroment for that little girl.
The mother, legal or not,intuitively had the girl's best interest at heart.
Remember, there is a fine line between discipline and abuse.

 

[jslopez711]

The main issue, from my perspective, isn't whether or not the mother in this case withheld Christmas Eve visit with contempt or spitefull intentions. The neurotic crusade the father embarked on to carry out his intended
'punishment' on the child is. His exchanges with the mother preceeding the scheduled visit led her to have doubts as to the child's safety and emotional well being. Her 'avoidance' of handing the child over to her father was not a pre-meditated act;it was impulsive. She did not pack up and leave the state, or dissappear for any substantial period of time. I wonder how the shoe would feel if every time a non-custodial parent didn't show up for a visit, if the custodial parent, child in tow, along with the police would go knocking on the NCP's door DEMANDING they take the child for visitation. It wouldn't happen. A loving, nuturing, responsible parent would not subject their child to that trauma.
The mother's rational in this situation is proven by the father's actions. He was so zealous in his desire, not to spend time with his child, but to inflict his hurtful act upon her.
His fanatical actions, by actually bringing the police with him, and being so self righteous as to not think there was something seriously wrong with what he was subjecting his daughter to, believing the police would become his reinforcement, goes to show that there is something seriously deficient in his character. It would concern me to leave a child in his care.
A sane, normal person would be able to put things into perspective, and act accordingly. He obviously lacks the discretionary tools to control his impulsive behavior.
That is not a conducive emotional enviroment for that little girl.
The mother, legal or not,intuitively had the girl's best interest at heart.
Remember, there is a fine line between discipline and abuse.

She BROKE the LAW. The child was never physically harmed and to say she was emotionally harmed is not up to speculation but rater EVALUATION. Everything you say here is circumstantial based on YOUR opinion with much liberty in speculation, ill at best.

 

[casa]

She BROKE the LAW. The child was never physically harmed and to say she was emotionally harmed is not up to speculation but rater EVALUATION. Everything you say here is circumstantial based on YOUR opinion with much liberty in speculation, ill at best.

Actually whether or not she broke the law is yet to be determined. IF a parent reasonably fears for the safety &/or welfare of their child then there are exceptions to the rule. The father can file contempt....sure I can just see him in front of a judge explaining why he is angry the mother kept her daughter from being emotionally abused- then explaining his 'reasoning' for demanding he be allowed to emotionally abuse her- then explaining the police report concurring with the mother. yeah...that'll fly

 

[jslopez711]

Actually whether or not she broke the law is yet to be determined. IF a parent reasonably fears for the safety &/or welfare of their child then there are exceptions to the rule. The father can file contempt....sure I can just see him in front of a judge explaining why he is angry the mother kept her daughter from being emotionally abused- then explaining his 'reasoning' for demanding he be allowed to emotionally abuse her- then explaining the police report concurring with the mother. yeah...that'll fly

Ok, I understand that the OP never really stated that there was a court order. (speculation here) But if there is one that outlines x-mas and she did not surrender the child, then she is in violation of said order.

And in court the mother shows up saying she did not surrender the child because ex was going to give her coal for x-mas! You need to get serious here.

 

[mom6399]

So sorry

I have a child about the same age and her dad has pulled some pretty crappy stuff, but nothing this bad, yet. As I read on this site, I am so frustrated by comments about a parents rights over a child, with little concern going to the children who are being emotionally abused by a parent (seen it with CP's as well as NCP's). Whether it be something as horrific as what this poor child was subjected to, ongoing abandonment, physical abuse, substance abuse it all seems to be allowed to protect parental rights. This man is not a father and your child should be kept as far away from him as possible, at all costs. He should be reported to CPS and charged with child abuse-the officer, as kind as he was, should have arrested the SOB on site. Mental and emotional abuse is equally as damaging as physical abuse. At 5, my child has spent more time in therapy as a result of the BS her Dear old Dad pulls than most adults I know. Get your kid to a child psychologist ASAP. It may take months for her to show any evidence of this abuse, but it will take a toll on her. You did the right thing trying to keep her safe from harm on Christmas eve, and I am sure you feel you didn't do enough-she will know someday, we do the best we can. We try to protect them from this kind of crap, but, unfotuneately the system is not set up to protect the children.