Interesting Situation

[jowen82]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Indiana

I have got a question that I don't know if anybody can answer.

I'm currently paying support to my ex for my 2 children. My ex just had her boyfriend goto jail on a probation violation and was bonded out. He doesn't work and neither does her.

My question is if I find out on Tuesday when the court house opens again that my ex is the one who bonded him out when she has no other means of income can I pursue this any further? If so how would I do so?

 

[mistoffolees]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Indiana

I have got a question that I don't know if anybody can answer.

I'm currently paying support to my ex for my 2 children. My ex just had her boyfriend goto jail on a probation violation and was bonded out. He doesn't work and neither does her.

My question is if I find out on Tuesday when the court house opens again that my ex is the one who bonded him out when she has no other means of income can I pursue this any further? If so how would I do so?

No. How in the world would that affect the kids' needs for food and clothing and shelter?

And there's no such thing as 'misuse of child support' as long as the kids have their basic needs met. If their needs are being met, then it doesn't matter what ex does with the money.

Furthermore, even if you COULD prove that ex provided the money, how do you know it wasn't a gift or loan from a relative or friend?

Stop digging for dirt and trying to 'get' your ex. Wouldn't it be much easier if you focused on the kids instead of some vendetta?

 

[jowen82]

No. How in the world would that affect the kids' needs for food and clothing and shelter?

And there's no such thing as 'misuse of child support' as long as the kids have their basic needs met. If their needs are being met, then it doesn't matter what ex does with the money.

Furthermore, even if you COULD prove that ex provided the money, how do you know it wasn't a gift or loan from a relative or friend?

Stop digging for dirt and trying to 'get' your ex. Wouldn't it be much easier if you focused on the kids instead of some vendetta?

Well let me add this.

#1 She lives with her mother and her sister and 7 other kids in a 3 bedroom house.

#2 She has been on government assistance for over 10+ years

#3 She hasn't had a job in at least 7 years

#4 She has absolutely no bills

#5 Her family does not have the money to be giving her to bond out her boyfriend they do not like.

#6 I just got a txt message from her asking where her child support money was because she said she needed to get clothes for my son (which I did pay) and low and behold the day she did get it he was bonded out.

#7 I'm paying child support to support my children. Her bonding him out of jail has nothing to do with supporting my children.

 

[Proserpina]

Well let me add this.

#1 She lives with her mother and her sister and 7 other kids in a 3 bedroom house.

So?

#2 She has been on government assistance for over 10+ years

So?

#3 She hasn't had a job in at least 7 years

So?

#4 She has absolutely no bills

So?

(Are you seeing a pattern here?)

#5 Her family does not have the money to be giving her to bond out her boyfriend they do not like.

So?

#6 I just got a txt message from her asking where her child support money was because she said she needed to get clothes for my son (which I did pay) and low and behold the day she did get it he was bonded out.

So?

#7 I'm paying child support to support my children. Her bonding him out of jail has nothing to do with supporting my children.

SO WHAT?!

She can spend the money on Coach purses and mani/pedis if she wants to.

You need to FOCUS. Stop trying to fling mud at Mom - seriously.

 

[jowen82]

So?





So?





So?





So?

(Are you seeing a pattern here?)





So?





So?






SO WHAT?!

She can spend the money on Coach purses and mani/pedis if she wants to.

You need to FOCUS. Stop trying to fling mud at Mom - seriously.

You must be a women who abuses the intent of child support yourself.

The whole purpose of child support is to support the child not for the mother to have material things for herself. I'm not supporting her i'm supporting my children.

 

[Proserpina]

You must be a women who abuses the intent of child support yourself.

The whole purpose of child support is to support the child not for the mother to have material things for herself. I'm not supporting her i'm supporting my children.

Oh Misto...calling for your analogy, please!

OP, you're about to get a lesson. Please sit back, have a buttered crumpet and read.

 

[jowen82]

Oh Misto...calling for your analogy, please!

OP, you're about to get a lesson. Please sit back, have a buttered crumpet and read.

I would love for you to show me how a couch purse or whatever is supporting my children...

Can they eat it? No

Can they wear it as clothing? No

Does it give them shelter? No

Is it putting them in school? No

Is it showing my children how to get free money to do what they will with? Yes

So like I said before. Child support is to give my children what they need to survive.

Material things for the mother has nothing to do with my children surviving. I could care less what their mother wears. It's not my problem. She could get a job to buy things for herself.

 

[Proserpina]

I would love for you to show me how a couch purse or whatever is supporting my children...

Can they eat it? No

Can they wear it as clothing? No

Does it give them shelter? No

Is it putting them in school? No

Is it showing my children how to get free money to do what they will with? Yes

So like I said before. Child support is to give my children what they need to survive.

Material things for the mother has nothing to do with my children surviving. I could care less what their mother wears. It's not my problem. She could get a job to buy things for herself.

Your children have a roof over their heads, food in their bellies, clothing on their backs, correct?

Then they're being supported.

 

[jowen82]

The purpose of child support is to provide for the needs of the child. The needs of the child are not limited to direct expenses for food, clothing, school and entertainment. Child support is also to be used for housing, utilities, transportation, and other indirect expenses related to the day-to-day care and well-being of the child.

Source: Child Support

Bonding her ex out of jail does not qualify as supporting my children.
Neither is buying herself a coach bag.

I'm not an idiot. So don't treat me like one. I've been fighting my ex for custody for my children for over 3 years. I've done very extensive research on my case and what can and cannot be done. I've been doing this all without a lawyer. I've got more than what most fathers can wish for in my case.

My children's mother is a dead beat. She just gave birth to her 5th kid in 6 years. 2 of the children are mine and the rest all have different fathers. Education level is 8th grade for her and been on assistance almost half her life. She has realized she can live for free just by popping out kid after kid.

Although I am the only father in the picture out of 5 of her kids. I'm the only one paying support because i'm the only one who is fighting to make sure my children have a good life. So pass your bull crap onto somebody else.

Eat your own crumpet and enjoy my reading.

 

[jowen82]

Your children have a roof over their heads, food in their bellies, clothing on their backs, correct?

Then they're being supported.

In case you forgot what I've said before which you responded to with a So?

She lives with her mother. She has no bills.


So who is supporting my children? Uhm me and my ex's mother. Not my ex. So that does notgive her the right to use the money for that crap!

 

[mistoffolees]

Oh Misto...calling for your analogy, please!

OP, you're about to get a lesson. Please sit back, have a buttered crumpet and read.

Nope. Not worth the trouble of typing it out. OP clearly has no interested in legal realities.

But feel free if you think it will do any good....

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Pool analogy

Treat your checking account like a swimming pool. Every month, you add 500 gallons of water from child support. You add another 1000 gallons from your job. Maybe you have a birthday and get another 50 gallons for gifts.

Now, you take 300 gallons out to pay your rent. You take 200 gallons out for food. Another 200 gallons for medical care.

How in the world would you be expected to know that the gallons you took out for food, clothing, etc was the same as the money that went in for child care? Obviously, you can't.

Bottom line is that as long as the child is fed and clothed and has shelter, ex has no say in how child support is spent. I agree with Pro - just ignore him. If he does actually file something with the court, you can't ignore that, of course, but it probably won't go anywhere.

 

[Proserpina]

In case you forgot what I've said before which you responded to with a So?

She lives with her mother. She has no bills.


So who is supporting my children? Uhm me and my ex's mother. Not my ex. So that does notgive her the right to use the money for that crap!

Your ex. Via her mother.

It matters not where Mom gets the support. Her Mom "pays" her.

Your job "pays" you.

Understand?


By all means, ask the court to compel Mom to account for the child support.

And when you're told "no", come back and tell us.

As for the rest of your diatribe - I hate to break this to you, but you're also likely not going to change custody.

3 years of fighting? And no custody yet? It might be time to face reality.

 

[jowen82]

Treat your checking account like a swimming pool. Every month, you add 500 gallons of water from child support. You add another 1000 gallons from your job. Maybe you have a birthday and get another 50 gallons for gifts.

Now, you take 300 gallons out to pay your rent. You take 200 gallons out for food. Another 200 gallons for medical care.

How in the world would you be expected to know that the gallons you took out for food, clothing, etc was the same as the money that went in for child care? Obviously, you can't.

Bottom line is that as long as the child is fed and clothed and has shelter, ex has no say in how child support is spent. I agree with Pro - just ignore him. If he does actually file something with the court, you can't ignore that, of course, but it probably won't go anywhere.

Well lets see here the things I can prove.

#1 Her mother pays mortgage, utilities

#2 The government pays food stamps, and medicaid

#3 She has all the clothes she's gotten for the kids given to her by her other family members.

So having to pay her support should dang well goto buying my children NEW clothes, shoes, school supplies.

And your remarks about filing something in court and it not going anywhere. If you haven't noticed that I am doing this in the state of Indiana. If any of you realized that then you would see that the state of Indiana DOES allow having the non-custodial parent to request how the money is spent. If the money is mis-used ie not for the children in anyway then it could be grounds for eliminating support or change of custody.

Like i've said before i've done my research. I was just here asking for your input not some of your bull crap. How can you give advice in law if you don't know anything about it yourselves? Amazing!

 

[Proserpina]

Well lets see here the things I can prove.

#1 Her mother pays mortgage, utilities

#2 The government pays food stamps, and medicaid

#3 She has all the clothes she's gotten for the kids given to her by her other family members.

So having to pay her support should dang well goto buying my children NEW clothes, shoes, school supplies.

In other words, Mom is supporting her children. Via her mother and other means.

And your remarks about filing something in court and it not going anywhere. If you haven't noticed that I am doing this in the state of Indiana. If any of you realized that then you would see that the state of Indiana DOES allow having the non-custodial parent to request how the money is spent. If the money is mis-used ie not for the children in anyway then it could be grounds for eliminating support or change of custody.

Like i've said before i've done my research. I was just here asking for your input not some of your bull crap. How can you give advice in law if you don't know anything about it yourselves? Amazing!

Quotable.

Go for it, Dad.