Interfering w/ Custody

[stepmom04]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? AR

My husband's ex, has sent us (I say us, because I was included in the stuff) paper work stating several bogus claims. There were 6 total claims, in which is was asking for a change of custody to be the punishment for these interferences (as she calls them). I have her on a recorded conversation stated that at least 3 of the 6 are not true, and that she didn't even read the paper before her lawyer sent it (which is funny, cause she signed it).

My question is...considering that she has said...that 3 aren't true and the others she didn't comment on, do you think she would have a leg to stand on.

One of the big ones, was that we interfered with her visitation. When our lawyer sent discoveries asking specifics to which days that we interfered and how we did this. Her response was numerous amounts of times, but didn't give specific dates. Do we not have the right to know when she claims that we did this? I keep very specific logs of every single conversation, pick up and drop offs. I would most likely have the day that this supposedly happen and be able to tell what actually happened.

 

[Zephyr]

so what was your lawyer's response to her non-compliance with discovery- those questions are usually quite clear

date and time, nature of interference

 

[stepmom04]

His response is that we have a stupid hearing in a few weeks, to make her answers these questions. We feel that she should have to pay for this ridiculous time in court. Also the two lawyers can't agree how to word an order that was already decided on by the judge. Our lawyer has the transcripts to prove what was said, but her lawyer still feels that we need to rot a day in court for this.

 

[Zephyr]

request attorney's fees in your response

 

[stepmom04]

Oh yes, we always do. And the judge only ever orders her to pay half. Its crap. He's found her contempt of court at least a dozen times, and its a slap on the wrist each time.

What do you think about the recorded conversations? Do you think that will be enough, just on the fact that she admitted that she did not even read what her lawyer was sending, and where she said at least half of the allegations weren't true? Don't you think the judge *should* throw the whole thing out?

The only one of her allegations that is true, is that my husband hasn't told her about doctor appointments. But I've read over our court order at least a million times and no where on there any where does it say he has to.

 

[Ohiogal]

Oh yes, we always do. And the judge only ever orders her to pay half. Its crap. He's found her contempt of court at least a dozen times, and its a slap on the wrist each time.

What do you think about the recorded conversations? Do you think that will be enough, just on the fact that she admitted that she did not even read what her lawyer was sending, and where she said at least half of the allegations weren't true? Don't you think the judge *should* throw the whole thing out?

The only one of her allegations that is true, is that my husband hasn't told her about doctor appointments. But I've read over our court order at least a million times and no where on there any where does it say he has to.

So why isn't dad telling her about doctor appointments? Good grief, he could actually be adult about this. Wouldn't HE want to know about his children's doctor appoitnments?

 

[stealth2]

So why isn't dad telling her about doctor appointments? Good grief, he could actually be adult about this. Wouldn't HE want to know about his children's doctor appoitnments?

But the court didn't TELL him he had to.

 

[stepmom04]

He has told her about some, and especially in the beginning he did. She never showed up or showed any interest of knowing. She is impossible to reach, by the time we do reach her it's already past. We do tell her the outcome of every appointment. She never told him about any when she had custody, so he just assumed that it wasn't something he had to do. It's not like they go a lot. We've sent her certified letters trying to get her to come with the kids for counseling meetings, but she never shows or calls. So what's the point.

Put this in perspective...one child had to go to the hosiptal during her vistation. She called me (step mom) and asked me to meet her there. I said that was fine *dad was at work*. The child had a rash, it wasn't something serious, but it was on the weekend, where doctors offices were not open. So I assumed she just wanted to meet me there and she was going to stay too. Nope, she dropped him off at the front of the emergency room door and I waited for 5 hours, luckily the hospital let me sign papers, which truthfully they didn't have to.

 

[StampGirl]

But the court didn't TELL him he had to.

I bet it does. I bet it says they have legal joint custody. And if it says THAT, Dad has to inform Mom of dr appts etc.

But then that would mean they had to be adult about things. We can't have that now can we???? ha ha

 

[stepmom04]

No actually they do not have legal joint custody. He has full custody, legal and physical. The only think it lists at her request that the schools and doctors have to give her copies of records. That's it.

 

[StampGirl]

He has told her about some, and especially in the beginning he did. She never showed up or showed any interest of knowing. She is impossible to reach, by the time we do reach her it's already past. We do tell her the outcome of every appointment. She never told him about any when she had custody, so he just assumed that it wasn't something he had to do. It's not like they go a lot. We've sent her certified letters trying to get her to come with the kids for counseling meetings, but she never shows or calls. So what's the point.

Put this in perspective...one child had to go to the hosiptal during her vistation. She called me (step mom) and asked me to meet her there. I said that was fine *dad was at work*. The child had a rash, it wasn't something serious, but it was on the weekend, where doctors offices were not open. So I assumed she just wanted to meet me there and she was going to stay too. Nope, she dropped him off at the front of the emergency room door and I waited for 5 hours, luckily the hospital let me sign papers, which truthfully they didn't have to.

Let me share some information that a social worker shared with me just recently regarding appts and the other parent not showing etc:

Make the appt when the other parent is able to attend (on their days off etc). Email or however you communicate but do in writing of when the appt is and where. THEN, if the other parent chooses to not show you have a record of it. Do that EVERY TIME. Then you are covered. And the other parent can't whine about it.

 

[StampGirl]

No actually they do not have legal joint custody. He has full custody, legal and physical. The only think it lists at her request that the schools and doctors have to give her copies of records. That's it.

Then I stand corrected. He may not have to legally inform her, but its called playing nice. Well they have to giver her copies of the records no matter what your court order says. She IS MOM. She is entitled.

 

[stepmom04]

The first 3 years, she didn't even work. *Nor pay child support , but that's a different story*. She had no excuse to not show.

Before my husband received custody, he took the kids to the dentist *kids teeth were so rotten and she wouldn't take them*. We had to reschedule appointments at least 5 times, because she would promise to show up to sign the paperwork for sedating the child and she wouldn't show up. So we got creative and asked her to take the kids to the appointment *she had custody, but never had the kids*. She shows up and decides to leave before they could do the work on the kids. We had to get court orders just so the kids could go the dentist.

 

[StampGirl]

The first 3 years, she didn't even work. *Nor pay child support , but that's a different story*. She had no excuse to not show.

Before my husband received custody, he took the kids to the dentist *kids teeth were so rotten and she wouldn't take them*. We had to reschedule appointments at least 5 times, because she would promise to show up to sign the paperwork for sedating the child and she wouldn't show up. So we got creative and asked her to take the kids to the appointment *she had custody, but never had the kids*. She shows up and decides to leave before they could do the work on the kids. We had to get court orders just so the kids could go the dentist.

None of this matters. You want someone to tell you its ok to not tell mom of appts etc. If you had informed her and kept it in writing, then you would not be dealing with this. Or if she filed the complaints anyway, you would have no worries because you have proof you informed her. Sheesh.

Be nice. Be the adult. Tell your Husband to be the adult. Do it for the kids. Play nice no matter if the other parent doesn't want to. It stinks but its part of being a CP and part of being married to one. Of which I am both (CP mom and step-mom to my step-son whom we have custody of).

 

[stepmom04]

we play nice...and we get screwed.

My husband and I have bent over backwards trying to make her spend time with her children. But rarely does. If she would take them to the appointments, that would be great, it would be less time one of us have to take off work, bottom line she won't and can't be trusted to do so.

She did take my stepdaughter one time, during her visitation. She didn't tell us about the appiontment until 3 days after *and like I said..my husband has full custody* then she lied about the appointment and stated the child had major problems. We had to take her again just to find out what was wrong. The doctor said the lady was crazy and she was trying to get my husband in trouble the entire time. What the child had was a minor infection and just needed antibiotics.

The only reason she's doing this crap, is because there is a court order that the children can't be around her boyfriend *he is a convicted felon and a proven woman beater*. She was hoping that we would settle and let him back around, but not going to happen until a judge says that it has to happen.