interrogatories

[msdad]

what happens if I don't answer the interrogatories in the time allowed? Or what happens if I do nothing?

Oh, I forgot to mention. My son is going before the judge. His mom, stepdad and I cannot be in the room. Her lawyer says this is in the "best interest of the child" What are they going to ask him? I don't understand how his mother could subject him to this.

 

[lovemygirls2]

You have got to be kidding me!

I don't understand how his mother could subject him to this.

You have yourself so completely deluded that you really think that all this is the mother's fault. You CHOSE to not have anything to do with this child for 9+ years and then decided to play games with this child's life. Get over yourself and give this child what he needs. The family that he has always known, because of YOUR choices.

 

[Rushia]

I don't understand how his mother could subject him to this.

I don't understand how YOU could subject him to this. In 9 yrs, you have shown no interest in being his father, and you try to place this on the mom? What is wrong with you.

 

[stealth2]

what happens if I don't answer the interrogatories in the time allowed? Or what happens if I do nothing?

Her lawyer could ask the judge to order you to complete the forms - and if you don't do it THEN, you could be found in contempt of court. Judges get sorta pissy when you ignore their orders. Or... they could use it to show that you are protracting the proceedings and argue that it's purely for vindictive reasons.

As for your son speaking with the judge, I suspect this one is going to sink you and your arguments. The judge could refuse to speak with the child, but since s/he has decided to do so, will probably ask some basic questions about what his life is like, what he likes to do, who does it with him, etc. Would he like his name changed.

Unfortunately, msdad, you really don't seem to be getting it. You're so focussed on this one issue - the name change - that you don't see that it is an anthill next to the mountain that your lack of involvement is. Or maybe you simply don't want to see that. It's not easy to admit when you've screwed something this big up. 'Cause once you do, and start to make amends - you'll have to start answering the tough questions you son will inevitably have. But it's up to you. DO you want to be a man he can be proud of?

 

[casa]

what happens if I don't answer the interrogatories in the time allowed? Or what happens if I do nothing?

Oh, I forgot to mention. My son is going before the judge. His mom, stepdad and I cannot be in the room. Her lawyer says this is in the "best interest of the child" What are they going to ask him? I don't understand how his mother could subject him to this.

You are 'supposed' to answer the interrogatories in the timeframe given to you. If you do not, it can be viewed that you are 1) Hiding something <like income> or 2) Delaying or not cooperating with the proceedings in a timely manner <likely to irritate all involved with the exception of yourself> or 3) In contempt of what the court has asked/ordered you to do <definately irritate the judge- they like it when you follow direction>

Judges question children with kid gloves- I agree with Stealth, he'll likely ask what he does and with whom...what the name change means to HIM. Who he calls or considers his Dad, or who his 'family' includes etc.

I wonder if you ever read what you've written or consider what you've said & done compared to the actions you are taking? I ask this because you wonder why the mother could subject the child to this- but it is YOU that has abandoned the child emotionally and physically, then only popped up in court some 9 years later because he was taking the name of his 'family' (meanwhile you spent the last couple of years able to be around your girlfriends children but never once your own).

Surely you DO realize what this situation looks like from the outside looking in?

If I were you (which gratefully I am not ) I would not contest the name change. I would answer the interrogatories in the manner ordered. I would exercise my visitation rights with the stipulation of a "get to know you process". I would humble myself before the court and ADMIT my shortcomings and ask for another chance. I would NOT bash the mother OR the stepfather. And then I would hope and pray I would be given a second chance. I would (if given that second chance) engage in an honest and meaningful goal of re-acquainting myself with my long lost son. I would answer his questions honestly (even when it hurt to do so) and I would STICK AROUND for the long haul- no matter what.
If you can't do all the above, it would be best you did nothing at all.

 

[msdad]

The interrogatories are coming from her lawyer, not the judge. Does that make a difference if I answer them or not? Or is that the same thing?

If I answer them all, most will be N/A on the questions regarding my son. I know that that will not look good.

If I need longer to get all of my financials together will they give it to me? Will I have to answer the other questions in the original time frame if they do?

On my time limit to get these back to them... is it working days or calendar days? The paper work says 30 days to answer.

 

[msdad]

oh and to answer your other question. I've been curious of my rights for visitation. Yes I said that it was "easy" to show up and contest. My main goal is to change/stop the support. I know he's not going to accept me. My ex has already told him since she's married now that he has a father. If I had any type of visitation I would have him call me dad, and she would be telling him to call her husband dad still. So I figure he'd blame me for the confusion.

I'm coming to the realization that I did not look at my son that day in court not because I didn't want his mom & grandma to see me do it, but because I probably don't want to get involved with him now. So...contesting this name change is the only leverage I have to modify child support.

 

[stealth2]

oh and to answer your other question. I've been curious of my rights for visitation. Yes I said that it was "easy" to show up and contest. My main goal is to change/stop the support. I know he's not going to accept me. My ex has already told him since she's married now that he has a father. If I had any type of visitation I would have him call me dad, and she would be telling him to call her husband dad still. So I figure he'd blame me for the confusion.

I'm coming to the realization that I did not look at my son that day in court not because I didn't want his mom & grandma to see me do it, but because I probably don't want to get involved with him now. So...contesting this name change is the only leverage I have to modify child support.

There is only ONE way that you will be relieved of the support obligation - allow his stepDad to adopt him. Until then, you are responsible for being his father at least in this way.

 

[msdad]

Do you know anything of the post I put right before that one? As far as the days (working or calendar).

Apparently her lawyer said that they will try to file to adopt in the next year or so. That she needs the income right now. I know first hand that her husband has a lot of money. My ex has told my mother that MY money is going into an account for him. So she really DOESN'T NEED IT!

Also I think they have to married longer. It hasn't been a year yet. Hmm wonder why it took them 8 years to get married????

 

[stealth2]

I believe it's calendar days.

 

[msdad]

thank you...

 

[LdiJ]

oh and to answer your other question. I've been curious of my rights for visitation. Yes I said that it was "easy" to show up and contest. My main goal is to change/stop the support. I know he's not going to accept me. My ex has already told him since she's married now that he has a father. If I had any type of visitation I would have him call me dad, and she would be telling him to call her husband dad still. So I figure he'd blame me for the confusion.

I'm coming to the realization that I did not look at my son that day in court not because I didn't want his mom & grandma to see me do it, but because I probably don't want to get involved with him now. So...contesting this name change is the only leverage I have to modify child support.

You are an honest to god JERK...and I hope you get slammed in court. You don't care one bit about this child...all you care about is your wallet. I think that you deserve to continue paying child support until he is an adult. However if you have some SHRED of decency left...then offer to give up your parental rights so that his REAL DAD can adopt him.

 

[casa]

oh and to answer your other question. I've been curious of my rights for visitation. Yes I said that it was "easy" to show up and contest. My main goal is to change/stop the support. I know he's not going to accept me. My ex has already told him since she's married now that he has a father. If I had any type of visitation I would have him call me dad, and she would be telling him to call her husband dad still. So I figure he'd blame me for the confusion.

I'm coming to the realization that I did not look at my son that day in court not because I didn't want his mom & grandma to see me do it, but because I probably don't want to get involved with him now. So...contesting this name change is the only leverage I have to modify child support.

Well, Well, Well, the REAL motivation comes out and it's about money. Go Figure!

You say the mother puts the money in an account for your son and you actually have a PROBLEM with that? Do you care if he goes to college? Or gets braces if he needs them? Aren't you really just pissed off because you do not want to support in ANY way a child that you are partly responsible for bringing into this world? How sad and pathetic that is. I guess a guy like you is already marking his calendar until the time comes when the stepfather can adopt the child and he won't cost you one more cent...Afterall he's never cost you the heartache, concern, worry, motivation or perserverance a REAL parent would be feeling. Maybe you should consider yourself 'lucky' in your own sick, selfish way.

The response time frame is calendar days. If you don't respond you've already been told more than once what could or could not happen. Start listening for once.

And you don't 'Know' he's not going to accept you~ You are a lazy coward and you have been for 9 years. You don't WANT to try to even get to know him or take a single chance on salvaging that relationship... so it's much easier for you to SAY he won't 'know' after the fact, isn't it? You haven't had the courage to even try and you, yes YOU are going to be the one missing out. What a shame

What your son calls you is irrelevant. IF you genuinely cared, you'd take any name- just to be involved and a part of his life. Because he doesn't call you Dad immediately you have created the justification that is the excuse to give up totally on him. How sad and weak that is! I am so sorry that a title is the newest reason you use to avoid being in your son's life. I guess you'd grasp at anything at this point.

You summed it all up yourself- You didn't even look at your son that day in court because you didn't want to be involved with him now. So, get the h*ll out of his life already and do him a favor.

 

[jslopez711]

we can't be serious......................... I don't believe this................. I think we are getting our chains jerked here......................... Yes I'm about to capitalize DO WE ACTUALLY BELIEVE THIS THING? THIS GUY CAN'T BE THIS STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I THINK THIS IS SOME SORT OF SICK JOKE.!!!!!

 

[LdiJ]

we can't be serious......................... I don't believe this................. I think we are getting our chains jerked here......................... Yes I'm about to capitalize DO WE ACTUALLY BELIEVE THIS THING? THIS GUY CAN'T BE THIS STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I THINK THIS IS SOME SORT OF SICK JOKE.!!!!!

I would honestly like to believe that we are getting our chained yanked....however he came here earlier and got everyone "cheerleadering" him into fighting for his rights. Its only after he came back, afterwards, that he made his "jerkdome" known. Yeah, I actually believe he may be THAT stupid.