interstate visitation

[aliyah's mom]

What is the name of your state? Florida, dad in Iowa

I filed for child support for my 11 year old son last year through the dept of revenue. His father was served last month. Today I get an answer and counter petition for visitation. I now have to hire a lawyer because the dept of revenue does not handle the visitation side, just the support side. I have an appointment in two weeks to talk with a lawyer, but in the mean time, i have questions.

Son was born and raised here in florida. Dad joined the military when son was infant. Paid child support through military until 1998 when he got out of army. Since then he has only paid around $600 total. Even when he was in army, living only a couple of hours away, he only saw son once or twice a year. I have never denied visitation when asked. Son also has regular contact and visitation with paternal grandparents. I even provide some of the transportation. Dad now lives in Iowa since 1998. Last time he saw son was Oct 2001 when I let son go to Iowa for a week for dads wedding. Dad has emailed son twice in last year, birthday and christmas. Promises gifts that son never receives.

Dad is asking that I pay his attorney fees and he wants the tax credit every year. Also dad has never carried son on insurance. Will I have to pay his attorney, since I filed for support? Also, I cannot find what the standard long distance visitation is? And will I be responsible for transportation costs to Iowa, since he moved away? He has no family in Iowa other than wife. All of his family is here in Florida.

Sorry its so long. Any help would really be appreciated.

 

[aliyah's mom]

Also, He is asking for "shared parental responsibility". Is this the same as joint custody? And is this possible given the distance?

Thanks.

 

[blvngod]

He wants it all does he not?
Were you married? Are there any custody papes now? Has his paternity been established?
Child support has nothing to do with visitation rights at all.
You say he has refused visits with your son and you have never denied them? He will have a hard time explaining why he never excersized the option to see when he had it. I live in another state than the father of my daughters. It states in the papers that we are to split the cost of transportation.
Did you file support through the dhs office?

 

[aliyah's mom]

No we were never married. We were very young and he joined the army when our son was a newborn. After basic, he was sent to germany for 18 months, then was stationed in savanah, GA. He never actually refused visitation, he just chose not to exercise it. There has never been a court order for anything. He just calls once or twice a year to talk to him. He was only a couple of hours away in savannah, but was always to busy to come see him. I have never denied any visitation, in fact I encouraged it. The papers that I received today even say that I have never denied visits.

I cannot afford to pay for airfare to Iowa. Does anyone know what the chances are that I will have to pay for it?

 

[aliyah's mom]

Does anyone know if paternity is established when support is received through the military even though there is no court order?

 

[blvngod]

You would have known because this requires a dna test. This will have to be done to prove he is the father before anything else. We live out of state from my husbands ex and because of that we were able to coduct a telephone conference hearing. Perhaps you could call the court on your papers and seek to request something along these lines. Explain that you desperatly want to be present but can not afford it at this time.

 

[aliyah's mom]

There has never been a DNA test done. He did sign the birth certificate and he is not denying paternity. In the papers I received yesterday, he admits paternity.

Also, I will be present if we ever get a hearing. The court is here where I live. He is the one that will appear by telephone. I just cant afford to pay for a flight to Iowa every month for his visitation. He had no good reason for moving so far away from his son.

It just makes me so mad that the only time he has shown interest in exercising visitation was after I filed for child support. ME going without his child support since 1998 is one thing, but him going without seeing is son is another. All he ever had to do was show up. My son never gets birthday or christmas cards. Its like every 4-5 months he realizes he has a child and sends an email or leaves a message on the answering machine during school hours. Then if my sons tries to call back he is never home and doesnt return any more phone calls for 6 more months. My son sent him an email back in October and Dad did not answer it until the day after Christmas. He left a message on Dads answering machine in November that Dad has never returned. My son is so hurt by this and at this point does not want to go Iowa.

Sorry I had to vent for a minute. Thanks for your help.

 

[blvngod]

Out of state visitation does not work that way. When we moved our custody agreement was modified. It states that every holiday the child will spend with the non custodial parent and the summer months. The cost of transportation is to be split equally. example: we drive half the distance and meet , if we choose not to fly. Has he ever maintained any sort of scheduled visitation with the child since he was born? There is no way he will get out of past due court ordered support or present support. The visitation is a totally seperate issue. This will not even be addressed at the child support hearing, you are correct. Check with the dhs office to see if they have a public attorney that will help you. The cost is based on your income. I am not sure if that is the same as joint custody or not. I would argue the fact. You make sure you keep full legal, physical custody , care and control of the child. All he should be allowed is visitation. Odds are if he has not excersized it by now, he wont.

 

[aliyah's mom]

No he has never exercised regular visitation, only once or twice a year at best.

The petition for visitation references the "Standard Fourth Judicial Circuit Visitation Guidelines for residential and non-residential households more than 280 miles apart" and I did find this on their website. In it it states that the transportation costs is left up to the discretion of the judge and considers the following:

1. Relative income of the parties
2. Extent and regularity of the visitation of the Non-residential parent prior to the relocation.
3. Distance.
4. The party responsible for creating the relocation.
So I guess it depends on the judge I get.

Also, what about the tax credit? He and his wife own their own business and he works another night job. I haven't seen his financial affidavit yet so I dont know if he listed the business they own. What are his chances of getting the tax credit? And how hard is it to find out about his business income? I wasnt out to break his bank to begin with. I just wanted a little help supporting the child we both created. I even emailed and left several messages on machine last year before I filed for child support and ask him to send some money for school clothes and for our sons football gear. He never even bothered to respond and that is when I filed for support. I guess he thought if he ignored it long enough it would go away.

 

[jyoung]

my hunch is that he got himself a lawyer and the lawyer is just trying to scare you with demands that are unrealistic. Very unlikely (my opinion) that a deadbeat dad will find a sympathetic judge, especially if he didn't try to exercise visitation. I think the same would go for the legal fees. Good luck.

 

[aliyah's mom]

I hope thats all it is. Yes he does have a lawyer here in fernandina (my town). I just wish he would have decided to be a father 11 years ago.

Thanks for your responses.