Involuntary release of Parental Rights? Help?

[neopandora]

On the visitation, since he isnt still paying child support- he is still in direct violation of the court order??? At the question of what will happen to him, we know that the court has "reopened" the issue of child support as of 6-2010. (checked local criminal records) and his DL has been suspended? Does she still need to contact FL?

Sounds like your Wife needs to contact child support enforcement (or their equivalent) in FL. Was she not notified by mail they were reopening the case, or of any enforcement? Also, suspended driver's license could be because of many reasons, not just child support.

the childs aunt is the fathers sister who travels from FL to IL to pick him up and take him back... We understand in the courts eyes he is filling his responsibility for the transportation. I was just making a point of how he cowers from his responsiblity by throwing onto someone else. The aunt agrees.

I understand that Dad appears to uninvolved and doesn't seem to regularly financially support his children and that stinks, BUT the underlined above, gotta take up for Dad on this one. If he has a suspended license, he's not cowering from responsibility in that situation, he's responsible enough to have others do the transporting. That's what you would WANT him to do without a valid driver's license.

 

[neopandora]

People who dont want to pay CS wont. There is only so much that can be done. They can take your license, tax refund, passport, etc. But if you have a parent who refuses to work (meaning no tax refund either) there just isn't much that can be done. They can put him in jail- but really, what good will it do.

Agreed. And I've seen several that will do the jail time without making the purge amount and still not pay after released.

 

[cturboaddict]

Wow im actually a bit shocked.

Lets make this a bit clearer.
IN 10 YEARS he has not came to pick up his son, or brought his son back. He stays only 2 weeks at most when he is in florida to visit his father. The only way he does this is because his own sister delivers his child to him. This has been the same way since before i met my wife.
And its apparent that his DL was suspended due to nonpayment of CS. Maybe if he handled his responsibilities as a decent human being and held a steady job anywhere then he would have his drivers license. Instead of ducking and
"cowering" by working under the table.

Lets leave the fact out of him breaking the law so that its OK for him to not come get his son. What about a phone call? Thats not hard to do? What about remembering your own childs birthday? What about a "hows school", "how are the ladys treating you son?", "you into sports?"...

Lets all sit here and play WO is the Father and he has rights yadayadayada~ while i look into a young mans eyes and have to make excuses for the idiocy of another human being to not even know their child. While I have to watch my wife cry at the fact of shadowing the fact of reality from an innocent person?

Are you telling me that there is NOTHING that can be done or are you actually suggesting that our shoulders should just turn?

Maybe there is some confusion? On my part im assuming?

@Blue Meanie~ its very appropriate when she is asking me to do it. So lets keep to the subject at hand please.
@The Geekess~ Sorry about the lowblow on Bammy... Just trying to lighten a situation... I can say, the people are nice!
@Ldij~ you are correct. She tries to bring him into the part of the family on his father's side the most out of anyone. We greatly appreciate her, and maintain a civil relationship with her.

 

[cturboaddict]

People who dont want to pay CS wont. There is only so much that can be done. They can take your license, tax refund, passport, etc. But if you have a parent who refuses to work (meaning no tax refund either) there just isn't much that can be done. They can put him in jail- but really, what good will it do.

Agreed. And I've seen several that will do the jail time without making the purge amount and still not pay after released.

Can they be released without paying the total of back due? Or can they make a settlement with the court to be released?

 

[stealth2]

@Blue Meanie~ its very appropriate when she is asking me to do it.

Why? You're not a party to the case. So why is it more appropriate for you to be dealing with this, instead of her? She's apparently an adult woman. She should be more than capable of dealing with her own situation.

 

[futuredust]

Why don't you ask dad if he wants you to adopt then?

Or is it the financial aspect that is really your concern, because it is coming off that way to me..

 

[neopandora]

Wow im actually a bit shocked.

Lets make this a bit clearer.
IN 10 YEARS he has not came to pick up his son, or brought his son back. He stays only 2 weeks at most when he is in florida to visit his father. The only way he does this is because his own sister delivers his child to him. This has been the same way since before i met my wife.
And its apparent that his DL was suspended due to nonpayment of CS. Maybe if he handled his responsibilities as a decent human being and held a steady job anywhere then he would have his drivers license. Instead of ducking and
"cowering" by working under the table.

Lets leave the fact out of him breaking the law so that its OK for him to not come get his son. What about a phone call? Thats not hard to do? What about remembering your own childs birthday? What about a "hows school", "how are the ladys treating you son?", "you into sports?"...

Lets all sit here and play WO is the Father and he has rights yadayadayada~ while i look into a young mans eyes and have to make excuses for the idiocy of another human being to not even know their child. While I have to watch my wife cry at the fact of shadowing the fact of reality from an innocent person?

Are you telling me that there is NOTHING that can be done or are you actually suggesting that our shoulders should just turn?

Maybe there is some confusion? On my part im assuming?

@Blue Meanie~ its very appropriate when she is asking me to do it. So lets keep to the subject at hand please.
@The Geekess~ Sorry about the lowblow on Bammy... Just trying to lighten a situation... I can say, the people are nice!
@Ldij~ you are correct. She tries to bring him into the part of the family on his father's side the most out of anyone. We greatly appreciate her, and maintain a civil relationship with her.

I don't say this to be mean, but he IS the Father and he DOES have rights. Your Wife chose him to be Dad. Again, I'm not being mean. I have a similar situation with a few more wrinkles. My son's dad has never paid child support regularly owes over $60,000 and will probably never pay it. Until a year or so ago when his visitation was suspended and a no contact Order of Protection put in place, Dad rarely called or visited and never for a b-day, Xmas, etc.

The thing is, you can't make Dad into the type of Dad you think he should be, or make him a good parent. Lots of wonderful people had a crappy parent and turned out just fine. For us, it helped that son had so many wonderful people who loved and were there for him. Son has a wonderful StepDad (as it sounds like yours does). Legally, he has rights whether he uses them or not.

If you are willing to adopt, AND Dad is willing to sign away his rights, then you have a legal solution. Otherwise, it's probably going to take a lot more to terminate Dad's rights than is occurring. It is very difficult to terminate rights if a parent is seeing the child at all, especially on a regular basis, even if that basis is yearly.

If Dad doesn't want to sign away his rights and you adopt, rather than trying to make something improbable happen, Mom might want to consider reaching Dad to see if they can arrange visits at Christmas Break and Spring break also. It has always seemed to me that parents who see their children at more regular intervals seem to be more involved in phone contact, school activities, etc.

Mom could even send a packet of stamped envelopes for Dad, a prepaid phone card, or some other items to help Dad stay in contact, not for Dad's benefit but for their sons.

 

[neopandora]

People who dont want to pay CS wont. There is only so much that can be done. They can take your license, tax refund, passport, etc. But if you have a parent who refuses to work (meaning no tax refund either) there just isn't much that can be done. They can put him in jail- but really, what good will it do.
Can they be released without paying the total of back due? Or can they make a settlement with the court to be released?

They generally set what is called a purge amount. It is not the total but an amount the Court feels could be gotten together as a lump sum. For instance, Dad owes $60k but court sets a purge amount of $2,500. If the purge is paid, no jail time. If purge not paid, you serve the preset jail sentence and the arrearages continues to accrue.

 

[cturboaddict]

Why don't you ask dad if he wants you to adopt then?

Or is it the financial aspect that is really your concern, because it is coming off that way to me..

This is an option that has been spoken about here at home. My only concern with that issue at this moment is how will her son take this. Its really up to him in my eyes. I would be elated if he wanted this to be.
He values his father, and like ive stated~ there is no "foul word" or explination of what is going on to him. So in his mind, he thinks this is the way that things are supposed to be. Although, he has started to question why there is so much interaction with our own parents and family on his mothers side and my family. Yet mostly no interaction with his father or fathers side.

The money isnt an issue as we dont need it, although it helps when its there. Ive tried to keep this as much as i could as a "legal" standpoint vs an emotional one. Its really hard to do though as i know if i make the statement of what we want to do, then everyone will say as i expect-
It doesnt matter what you or she think, as thats not how the court will see it.

 

[stealth2]

And again - this is an issue Mom should be dealing with. Really.

 

[cturboaddict]

They generally set what is called a purge amount. It is not the total but an amount the Court feels could be gotten together as a lump sum. For instance, Dad owes $60k but court sets a purge amount of $2,500. If the purge is paid, no jail time. If purge not paid, you serve the preset jail sentence and the arrearages continues to accrue.

This must of been what happened in the past. Due to the records that were found, there were alot of "purges" on the account in the past in a minimal amount. Im assuming this is what has gotten him out of jail from time to time. Hmm, interesting...

And Neopandora~
Thank you for your above post also. That is something that will have to be discussed with the father. If he decides to throw his rights away, then so be it. I have no problem stepping up and would be quite proud of the opportunity. Either way, im a part of this childs life and he enjoys it. We get along great, and the word Dad has slipped out from time to time. It kind of gives you a real fuzzy feeling.

But like you said, It would be great for us to help to give him other opportunities to contact his son with Phone cards, prestamped envelopes, and trying to make arrangements for him. I would hate for it to backfire in our face, but it could be a shot. At the same time, the more we give to him, the more we enable.

 

[cturboaddict]

And again - this is an issue Mom should be dealing with. Really.

She is~ TRUST ME. These are her decisions on where everything goes. If you had the opportunity to know me, you would understand. I dont sway any decisions. All i do is love....

 

[stealth2]

She is~ TRUST ME. These are her decisions on where everything goes. If you had the opportunity to know me, you would understand. I dont sway any decisions. All i do is love....