Is excessive exercise abuse?

[johns00m]

TENNESSEE/LOUISIANA
The children live in TN, I live in LA.
Is excessive exercise; to the point of 'muscle failure' (term coined by the parent using this method) an appropriate punishment for a 10, 12, and 14 year old? The children tell me that they hurt so much afterwards they want to die (12 yr old's statement). They are made to run up and down a hill until they cannot move anymore. Parent stated that "I can't hurt them but they can hurt themselves" when asked why they use that punishment.

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

@johns00m Do you want to clarify that question?

 

[johns00m]

@johns00m Do you want to clarify that question?

I am new on this site and was getting the hang of the forum; my apologies for pushing the wrong button. I've since edited my question.

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

@johns00m

What you describe could well be considered child abuse. But while a LA judge may well have jurisdiction with regards to things family law-related issues, criminal acts such as child abuse that happens in TN would be under TN jurisdiction.

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

Also, are you the other parent in this?

 

[johns00m]

Also, are you the other parent in this?

Ok; thank you for clarifying the jurisdiction. And yes, I am the other parent to the children. To be honest that is why I am asking strangers on the internet instead of calling CPS, I am afraid of coming across as the spiteful 'other parent'. I truly am not, I am genuinely concerned for the children. I just wanted advice before determining which avenue to take to have the situation looked into.

 

[zddoodah]

The children live in TN, but LA has jurisdiction over children per court order.

What order? What are the circumstances that led to the entry of this order? While LA may have jurisdiction in connection with the particular order, the statement that "LA has jurisdiction over children" who live in another state cannot be true as phrased.

while a LA judge may well have jurisdiction with regards to things family law-related issues, criminal acts such as child abuse that happens in TN would be under TN jurisdiction.

Concur.

Is excessive exercise; to the point of 'muscle failure' (term coined by the parent using this method) an appropriate punishment for a 10, 12, and 14 year old?

"Appropriate" is in the eye of the beholder, and it will depend on exactly what "muscle failure" might mean.

The children tell me that they hurt so much afterwards they want to die (12 yr old's statement).

My own kids have told me, "I want to die!" when I ask them to put their dishes in the dishwasher, so this statement doesn't have much meaning without any context at all.

They are made to run up and down a hill until they cannot move anymore.

How big/steep of a hill? How long does it take until "they cannot move anymore"?

Parent stated that "I can't hurt them but they can hurt themselves" when asked why they use that punishment.

In the context of a custody hearing, that statement would not go well for that parent.

I suggest you confer with a local family law attorney.

 

[LdiJ]

LOUISIANA
The children live in TN, but LA has jurisdiction over children per court order.
Is excessive exercise; to the point of 'muscle failure' (term coined by the parent using this method) an appropriate punishment for a 10, 12, and 14 year old? The children tell me that they hurt so much afterwards they want to die (12 yr old's statement). They are made to run up and down a hill until they cannot move anymore. Parent stated that "I can't hurt them but they can hurt themselves" when asked why they use that punishment.

There was a mother (or it might have been a grandmother) that was in the news a couple of years back. She was convicted of aggravated child abuse because her child (or grandchild) actually died from her using excessive exercise as punishment.

Here is one article about the case:

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news...d-to-death-for-lie-about-candy-dies-in-prison

If I were the other parent of these children I would file emergency orders in court to get the judge to order the other parent to stop, and I would cite this case as the reason why.

Here is another one:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news...andmother-who-ran-her-granddaughter-to-death/

Grandma was sentenced to life in prison over this. It looks like there are a lot of other articles on the case as well.

 

[Zigner]

The last time I was at the gym, I believe I said "I can't move, I want to die!" as I was walking out to my car.

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

@johns00m

The comments included in this post are not to minimize the situation your children might be in. I would strongly suggest you take some action to protect them. I might suggest a private investigator to document the "punishment". Because as has been mentioned kids have been known to exaggerate and we are talking about the South here where a child getting a whopping is still fairly common. And, as you said, you don't want to come across as the spiteful other parent.

 

[Zigner]

@johns00m

The comments included in this post are not to minimize the situation your children might be in. I would strongly suggest you take some action to protect them. I might suggest a private investigator to document the "punishment". Because as has been mentioned kids have been known to exaggerate and we are talking about the South here where a child getting a whopping is still fairly common. And, as you said, you don't want to come across as the spiteful other parent.

I totally agree. The point is that the OP needs some evidence of what he is alleging. In spite of what was suggested above, an emergency hearing is not appropriate (and may not even be entertained by the court) until there is at least some evidence. In fact, if the OP goes to court with nothing, then the OP may have to pay for mom's legal fees.

 

[johns00m]

What order? What are the circumstances that led to the entry of this order? While LA may have jurisdiction in connection with the particular order, the statement that "LA has jurisdiction over children" who live in another state cannot be true as phrased.

Sorry, I'm so unfamiliar with anything court related; I will edit original post to correct the jurisdiction comment. Thank you for explaining that part to me.

Concur.



"Appropriate" is in the eye of the beholder, and it will depend on exactly what "muscle failure" might mean.

Parent was in the military for 20 years ; it is the same concept they use when referring to muscle failure. This is the best definition I could find in hopes of better explaining what I mean by muscle failure.

https://www.sportsrec.com/461279-military-exercises-for-muscle-failure.html

"A person reaches muscular failure when he can no longer complete another repetition using correct form. Training to failure provides a method to increase muscular endurance which is defined as a muscle’s ability to perform repeated contractions against a resistance. Additionally, increases in strength are also experienced by performing exercises to failure."




My own kids have told me, "I want to die!" when I ask them to put their dishes in the dishwasher, so this statement doesn't have much meaning without any context at all.

I get that same feeling driving into work so I get that; but this statement was not said in that context, and the child that has said this has spent time in a facility for harming himself at a young age so I worry when he says this.




How big/steep of a hill? How long does it take until "they cannot move anymore"?

I cannot give a fair estimate of how steep the hill is; I know that the hill they are referring to stretches out approximately an acre and a half and the children have not given me a time frame only state until they cannot move anymore and fall down.

I suggest you confer with a local family law attorney.

I've scheduled a consult for tomorrow afternoon.

 

[johns00m]

@johns00m

The comments included in this post are not to minimize the situation your children might be in. I would strongly suggest you take some action to protect them. I might suggest a private investigator to document the "punishment". Because as has been mentioned kids have been known to exaggerate and we are talking about the South here where a child getting a whopping is still fairly common. And, as you said, you don't want to come across as the spiteful other parent.

I take no offense to any advice or comments on this thread. I am not here for my ego; I am here seeking advice for my children. There is nothing that can be said that will deter me from seeing this out. I sincerely thank you for the encouragement.

 

[LdiJ]

I totally agree. The point is that the OP needs some evidence of what he is alleging. In spite of what was suggested above, an emergency hearing is not appropriate (and may not even be entertained by the court) until there is at least some evidence. In fact, if the OP goes to court with nothing, then the OP may have to pay for mom's legal fees.

I am sorry but I completely disagree with you. The other parent has admitted that they are using that form of punishment and has specifically stated that "I cannot hurt them, but they can hurt themselves". If something happens to one of those children while the OP is trying to get hard evidence the OP is going to be devistated. Again, if I were the OP I would probably tell the other parent about the grandmother who went to prison for life because her grandchild died from being run to death. I would also give the other parent fair warning that I was going to be taking it to court if it didn't stop immediately.

I might have once agreed with you, before I read this case. However now I don't.

 

[Zigner]

I am sorry but I completely disagree with you. The other parent has admitted that they are using that form of punishment and has specifically stated that "I cannot hurt them, but they can hurt themselves". If something happens to one of those children while the OP is trying to get hard evidence the OP is going to be devistated. Again, if I were the OP I would probably tell the other parent about the grandmother who went to prison for life because her grandchild died from being run to death. I would also give the other parent fair warning that I was going to be taking it to court if it didn't stop immediately.

I might have once agreed with you, before I read this case. However now I don't.

Fair enough. However, the OP really has no evidence (yet).