Is overnight visitation mandatory?

[ceara19]

Holy crap! You're busier than I am!

Everything's bigger in Texas!

 

[ceara19]

Right, but OP stated they are utilizing visitation as per court order and this is "additional time" (overnights) that mom wants dad to have them that he does not want. So it's a bit different.

D

He's not using all of his court ordered time though. The court order states he gets them EOW. In Texas, that is Friday at 6 pm (or when the kids get out of school) through Sunday at 6pm (or Monday morning when the kids go back to school). The OP only said that he sees them more OFTEN then EOW. That could simply mean that he sees them an hour every Saturday afternoon.

 

[momofrose]

Sorry - my mistake - I did not see where OP stated that court orders say he gets them EOW.

If that is the case then you are 100% correct!

D

 

[haiku]

I don't think texas works things that way.

We don't want to take the children for overnight visits. We live with other family members and have an 11 month old. "BabiesMomma" keeps threatening that he won't see them at all if we don't take them overnight, and she has in the past accused us of abusing them when they did previously stay with us overnight. We see them every weekend instead of every other weekend.

I originally didn't mention support until people attacked me for not having adequate living quarters. But, we would like the support adjusted to the guidelines to which the state has outlined for two children as they call "before the court" and one child "not before the court" that he is legally obligated to support.

um... nobody attacked you.....most of us who are or have been parents of 11 month olds don't get why the older kids must be sequestered from the 11 month old, and as stated by a bunch of us NCP's and CP's all of us at some point have had to stuff thier kids into cramped quarters at some point. Big Whoop.

Your agenda is clear, and as a step mom, and not even the greatest step mom on the planet, I think it sucks**************

 

[pixel]

You may "see them every weekend" but that is not parenting (per se)..overnights are usually deemed more quality parenting time with the children.

And having MY child at a day care center for 8-9 hours per day while I work to keep what little household we have as a family together is a great quality parenting? I could easily quit working, stay with the baby full time and collect govt funds. I also go to school two nights a week so that means I have 2 evenings with my own baby where he is not already asleep before I get home. The one day a week where both my husband and I are off together we have the boys also. What I'm saying is that the only quality family time we have together, includes ALL OF US, not just me, my husband and the baby. My husband works with them to learn their letters and numbers. They have a workbook that they always ask to go through when they are visiting.

If you "do not want" them..then your husband must deal with major issues the children will feel as they get older - AND THEY WILL HAVE ISSUES when they find out mom asked dad to have overnights with them, and he said no. (whatever the reasons).

Again - you both are not thinking of the children. It's a sad thing

D

The opinions they form will be based on the information their mother tells them. No matter how many overnights they may have with us, she will always be their first teacher and biggest influence.

We both grew up without a father and I know what it's like to not have dad around. It wasn't until I was an adult that I realized not everything my mother told me about my father was true, (and my stepmom wasn't the evil witch my mother portrayed) and I know I can count on him to help me eventhough he's not legally obligated to. It hurt me when the oldest said "we get stuff because grandma works at Target", and yet they don't know that their father also helps to buy them food, clothes, toys, etc. by not being a deadbeat.

 

[momofrose]

So if you are not there when his children would be then why are you against this? I am very confused now.

As far as opinionsm - you are wrong! Children need both parents. If you are depending on mom to paint a rosey picture to the kids about their dad when dad will not take them for overnights, then you would blame mom?

How about Dad take some responsibility in the parenting department rather than just the financial department.

Look it's clear that YOU do not want these children in your house - and you have gotten your legal advise. You can rationalize until the cows come home, The facts are the facts and the fact is that you do not want his kids spending the night - again - it is just sad and I feel bad for the kids.

D

 

[pixel]

I don't understand why is it so wrong for me to have legitimate concerns about having the kids over? We did take them overnight before and we were accused of being child molestors!

You think my husband wants to risk losing parental rights over something their mom imagined?

What will hurt them more, the fact that they didn't get to spend the night? or that mommy says they can't ever see daddy because he molested them.

I don't expect a 4 yr old to understand that, but I thought maybe the adults on this board would.

 

[CJane]

Does dad have an education AT ALL?

If you're 28, I'm assuming he's somewhere near the same age... and he's working for less than $8/hour? I understand the economy kind of sucks right now, but anyone who's remotely literate can make more than $8 - especially when he's got 3 kids to support.

 

[CJane]

I don't understand why is it so wrong for me to have legitimate concerns about having the kids over? We did take them overnight before and we were accused of being child molestors!

Most of the people on this board have been accused of similar or worse crimes by our ex's. None of us used that as an excuse to walk away from our obligations.

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

This whole molestation charges is an excuse. You have been told that! Mom is wanting your hubby to have them, and you have witnesses since you live at home.

You go back and forth from this to support, yet you STATED "We do not want the kids overnight".

That is your agenda, and you can keep this thread going all day long if you want, but these are the facts.

 

[momofrose]

I don't understand why is it so wrong for me to have legitimate concerns about having the kids over? We did take them overnight before and we were accused of being child molestors!

You think my husband wants to risk losing parental rights over something their mom imagined?

What will hurt them more, the fact that they didn't get to spend the night? or that mommy says they can't ever see daddy because he molested them.

I don't expect a 4 yr old to understand that, but I thought maybe the adults on this board would.

Then tell mom you do not want to go through that again and come up with a solution that is best for the children..this is NOT rocket science!! If she is asking their father to take the kids overnight..then she is apparntly over the initial suspision of child abuse. Plus you said there are many family members that live wth you right?

D

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

pixel
Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 13

Is overnight visitation mandatory?

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What is the name of your state? Texas

My husbands ex is trying to get us to take their two boys for overnight weekend visits. We don't have accomodations as we have a new baby and live with other family members. Plus my husband has one weekend day off. She has been hounding him for almost 3 months now. She is with them pretty much 24/7 because she doesn't work or go to school, so I can understand she wants a break from the kids, but we just don't have anywhere to put them. Their case goes through OAG since they were never married.

Thanks

Your very first post say's it all. You are just now dancing around the issues.

 

[pixel]

Does dad have an education AT ALL?

If you're 28, I'm assuming he's somewhere near the same age... and he's working for less than $8/hour? I understand the economy kind of sucks right now, but anyone who's remotely literate can make more than $8 - especially when he's got 3 kids to support.

He's graduated HS, and a year younger, but after losing two call center jobs (one at 9.50 and the other at 8.50/hr, the last one was Sears, so if you call to buy a maint. agreement be nice to them, the don't make squat) he changed careers in an attempt to make more money. He is now working as a massage therapist. He works at a Spa that is newly opened and doesn't have a whole lot of business yet. So unless he's massaging someoene, his hours are paid at min. wage. (5.15) which is why he is starting the second job at another spa. Whichever place can book him full time is where he will stay working.

Texas across the board gets paid pretty poorly unless you live in a huge metro area but then you cost of living is much higher compared to the rest of the state.

 

[stealth2]

For example, I have my children 365 days a month

Good trick, ceara!

 

[haiku]

I don't understand why is it so wrong for me to have legitimate concerns about having the kids over? We did take them overnight before and we were accused of being child molestors!

You think my husband wants to risk losing parental rights over something their mom imagined?

What will hurt them more, the fact that they didn't get to spend the night? or that mommy says they can't ever see daddy because he molested them.

I don't expect a 4 yr old to understand that, but I thought maybe the adults on this board would.

excuses, excuses****************************

umm lets deflate this little fantasy right here and now.

You cannot lose custody of your kids just because mom "says" you molest them.

It does not work that way.

It takes alot more than that to lose custody rights.

It takes PROOF to get custody taken.

Does she have any?