Is there anything I can do?

[mistoffolees]

The first time she is late with her payment you can say "please make the payment on time because it's adversely affecting my credit".

The second time she is late with her payment, you haul her butt into court in a sling for contempt and get the proceedings going to order the house sold.

Because you didn't do that, you enabled her behaviour for 11 years.

There's an old saying: "Screw me once, shame on you; screw me twice, shame on me.

Fortunately, 'screw me once, shame on you; screw me twice, shame on me' is not a legal principle espoused in divorce laws.

 

[Bali Hai]

Fortunately, 'screw me once, shame on you; screw me twice, shame on me' is not a legal principle espoused in divorce laws.

There sure is. It's called acquiescence.

 

[gatorfan1]

The first time she is late with her payment you can say "please make the payment on time because it's adversely affecting my credit".

The second time she is late with her payment, you haul her butt into court in a sling for contempt and get the proceedings going to order the house sold.

Because you didn't do that, you enabled her behaviour for 11 years.

There's an old saying: "Screw me once, shame on you; screw me twice, shame on me.

I'm sorry Bali, but what do you honestly believe a judge would have done if I'd taken her back to court for the first, second, even tenth late payment? Slap her on the wrist, tell her to pay and send us on our way. Plus, there's a good chance I'd only piss off the judge by showing up in court every time she missed a payment. I've seen enough posts on here about the "slap on the wrists" given out to people who violate the court order worse than the ex to believe that anything would have changed. But you are free to your opinion and I do appreciate your input as well as everyone else's. Thanks to everyone for their advice, I appreciate it and will speak with an attorney regarding some of these options.

 

[Bali Hai]

I'm sorry Bali, but what do you honestly believe a judge would have done if I'd taken her back to court for the first, second, even tenth late payment? Slap her on the wrist, tell her to pay and send us on our way.

Nobody knows what the judge would have done. To protect your rights, the only recourse you have is to go to court and try.

Plus, there's a good chance I'd only piss off the judge by showing up in court every time she missed a payment.

Maybe, but the only repercussion to you is a pissed off judge. Who cares?? You have a right to ask the court for relief.

I've seen enough posts on here about the "slap on the wrists" given out to people who violate the court order worse than the ex to believe that anything would have changed.

So you didn't care enough to even bother trying?? SEE BELOW:

But you are free to your opinion and I do appreciate your input as well as everyone else's. Thanks to everyone for their advice, I appreciate it and will speak with an attorney regarding some of these options.

acquiescence:
   
1. the act or condition of acquiescing or giving tacit assent; agreement or consent by silence or without objection; compliance (usually fol. by to or in ): acquiescence to his boss's demands.

2. Law . such neglect to take legal proceedings for such a long time as to imply the abandonment of a right.

 

[stealth2]

I *rarely* (if ever) agree with Bali. But this time? He's right. If you can't be bothered to take it to court for ELEVEN years? Don't whine about the consequences.

 

[LdiJ]

I *rarely* (if ever) agree with Bali. But this time? He's right. If you can't be bothered to take it to court for ELEVEN years? Don't whine about the consequences.

I agree as well. This is something that should have been dealt with within the original divorce decree (IE she had XX amount of time to refinance or the house would be sold) or alternatively should have been dealt with within a year or two of the divorce if she was not making the mortgage payments promptly.

There is still some slim chance at this point that a judge would order the house sold, but its very slim.

However, in defense of both the OP and the ex, I suspect that most of the problem has been fairly recent...ie in the last three or four years. Yes, the OP was foolish in not requiring a refinance in the divorce, but I suspect that the ex probably only started seriously falling behind in the last three or four years.

Otherwise, the OP would have been here long before now asking for advice.

 

[mistoffolees]

However, in defense of both the OP and the ex, I suspect that most of the problem has been fairly recent...ie in the last three or four years. Yes, the OP was foolish in not requiring a refinance in the divorce, but I suspect that the ex probably only started seriously falling behind in the last three or four years.

And that's why acquiescence may not apply. If the ex was paying the mortgage regularly and only fell behind recently, it most certainly would be possible to drag her in for contempt.

 

[Bali Hai]

I agree as well. This is something that should have been dealt with within the original divorce decree (IE she had XX amount of time to refinance or the house would be sold) or alternatively should have been dealt with within a year or two of the divorce if she was not making the mortgage payments promptly.

There is still some slim chance at this point that a judge would order the house sold, but its very slim.

However, in defense of both the OP and the ex, I suspect that most of the problem has been fairly recent...ie in the last three or four years. Yes, the OP was foolish in not requiring a refinance in the divorce, but I suspect that the ex probably only started seriously falling behind in the last three or four years.
Otherwise, the OP would have been here long before now asking for advice.

I suggest you READ the OP's first post carefully before letting your imagination run wild.

The other knitwit responding to this thread should do the same.

Here it is 11 years later and she has made the payment on time only a handful of times, and I mean probably ONE hand. My credit is bombarded each time she is 30/60/even 90 days late.

 

[stealth2]

The other knitwit responding to this thread should do the same.

Uuuuhhh... it's spelled "nitwit".

 

[Bali Hai]

Uuuuhhh... it's spelled "nitwit".

You spell it your way and I'll spell it my way.