its unfair to fathers

[Mie mie]

What is the name of your state? Maryland

I just like to say I have a brother who's has a ex and she takes him back and forth to court for child support, Well he's with someone new and now hes getting ready to have a new baby and is having a really hard time paying bills and with him expecting its really tough for him. He just went ot court for back child support and there only giving him a month to pay and if he dont have all of it he goes to jail, I dont think its very fair and how is he supposed to pay if he can barely take care of hiself so I need to know what should he do.... Hes alo been through so much with this girl she is really a heartless mean person you couldnt imagine.

 

[snodderly]

The nerve of some mothers!! Imagine that, not letting him go to make a new family and produce new children!!! Damned her for holding him responsible for the one's he already has.

I will let you in on a little secret. Women who are left alone to raise children and have to constantly go to court to force a father to help financially can become mean, heartless bitches. It's calle "momma bear." He would be stupid to expect her to react any other way.

This is what he should do....support the children he already has. If you can't do that, then he should not be producing more.

There is no legal advice that can be given to you other that to tell him to follow the court ordered decree or he will go to jail. As he should.
snodderly

 

[nextwife]

I became a mom with a husband who was, at the time, paying support. I planned on therefore being the parent who was financially responsible for our child.

He can look at the states guidelines. If he is having that much trouble meeting current support, either it is calculated too high for his income, or his expenses are too high, or both. If the CS is much higher than guidelines show he should be paying, then he can file for a modification to reflect the correct figure. If his expenses are too high, he may need to consider a cheaper car and other ways to shave the budget.

But his wife certainly will need to plan to significantly help support her child.

 

[haiku]

sure, the courts can be unfair, I have seen and lived unfairness on both sides.

When your brother began paying support, he needed to start living a lifestyle that did NOT include that money. Only AFTER he became comfortable living THAT lifestyle, should he have thought about having ANOTHER child.

 

[strider5]

The nerve of some mothers!! Imagine that, not letting him go to make a new family and produce new children!!! Damned her for holding him responsible for the one's he already has.

I will let you in on a little secret. Women who are left alone to raise children and have to constantly go to court to force a father to help financially can become mean, heartless bitches. It's calle "momma bear." He would be stupid to expect her to react any other way.

This is what he should do....support the children he already has. If you can't do that, then he should not be producing more.

There is no legal advice that can be given to you other that to tell him to follow the court ordered decree or he will go to jail. As he should.
snodderly

I hope someday you find yourself innocently on the wrong side of the courtroom. you might calm your arsehole attitude a bit.

there are plenty of women out there that are bitches to start with (and plenty of guys that are *******s).

I kid you not, I am blameless in court and my psychotic ex-fling wants nothing short of blood (I'm already paying her $1400 a month for a single 4-year-old). On top of this, she screws with what little time my child has with me--16-20 days a year because I live so far away.

my advice: lighten up and STOP generalizing. not all dads are deadbeats, and not all single moms are these poor little innocent helpless puppydogs.

 

[snodderly]

I hope someday you find yourself innocently on the wrong side of the courtroom. you might calm your arsehole attitude a bit.

I have found myself innocently on the wrong side of the courtroom. Believe me, being there was no choice of mine. My children have found themselves innocently on the wrong side of a father who did not want to do what was morrally right by them. You know nothing of my situation and if you did, your situation would seem like a walk in the park.

On top of this, she screws with what little time my child has with me--16-20 days a year because I live so far away.

If this is true, then do something about it other than whine. You have the same rights as all of us....take her to court and prove your position.

lighten up and STOP generalizing. not all dads are deadbeats, and not all single moms are these poor little innocent helpless puppydogs

I'm not generalizing, I am responding to this poster, her relatives situation and the fact that she thinks he is being screwed because he has to pay court ordered support for his own children and that is interfereing in his lifestyle.
snodderly

 

[topsidder]

As difficult as this is to hear, it is what to expect: no way around childsupport. Gotta pay. It costs money to live, and it is both parents responsibility to support children untill the age of majority.

I would recommend begging, borrowing or stealing the back support. All jail will do is: cost him his current job, set him further into arrears, and deny him visitation with the child. I would spend this time not looking for a way out, but rather a way to come up with the back support. At the very least, try your friends and family. He might get lucky and if he goes to court with the "green stuff" instead of an excuse, they might let him walk with a partial payment and an agreement to pay the rest over time.

Work that angle, how to pay. Not how not to! He might not have to go to jail.

 

[stealth2]

Just how far in arrears is he, and how did he get there?

 

[blackberry1411]

We live in Ga. Snodderly so reminds me of my husbands ex-wife. No amount is enough even though he pays a minimum of 800.00 a month for ONE child +1/2 medical.dental.pharmacy.orthodontics. As well he gives his daughter money for extra's but guess what? Not enough! Now ex wants more for all the "extra's" ! As I said, never enough for these exes who are mad because their hubby could please them when married and cannot please them when divorced.

 

[squash213]

You know nothing of my situation and if you did, your situation would seem like a walk in the park.

Interesting how you yourself pass judgement so quickly on those you know nothing about.

The nerve of some people.

 

[blackberry1411]

My apologies. You are correct. I should not have passed judgement on someone I know nothing about but I have been on both sides of the fence. I deal with the ex-wife who cannot be pleased and I have a daughter whose father(my ex) seldom helped in her support. However, I do wonder why after reading several of your other postings that nothing has been done in your case. My husband was put in jail in 2002 for child support? NO! It was for 10,000.00 in alleged medical bills that we asked to see proof of because we had already paid our 1/2 of 3,000.00 in a two year period(just medical check ups and a dental visit). She even admitted on the stand in court that she was lying about the amount we owed her but since she knew the judge he let her keep the amount and my husband went to jail for six months until he agreed to pay the 10,000.00. So I guess I am just burned on exes who always want more money. My husbands ex has collected on amounts we have proven are non existant but in our town it is all in who you know or your last name.

 

[FloridaRob]

Bankruptcy will stop the immediate proceedings. If you file br it bars the courts from putting him in jail. Even if he goes to jail, bankruptcy will get him out immediately. IT will allow him time to get his affairs in order and work out a payment plan.

 

[tigger22472]

Bankruptcy will stop the immediate proceedings. If you file br it bars the courts from putting him in jail. Even if he goes to jail, bankruptcy will get him out immediately. IT will allow him time to get his affairs in order and work out a payment plan.

Are you positive this is true??? CS can not be filed or have anything to do with bankruptcy(sp) and although it might put off him going to jail for a short period of time the only other thing it can do is allow more money to be accessable for him to pay those arrears. On top of that he could be asked how he came up with the fees for that but can't pay his support... and the likelyhood of it being put on hold in a month is slim.

And for those of you giving snodderly a hard time... although I have to admit she does 'fly off' sometimes.. when it comes to these issues it's hard not to... she made an EXCELLENT point. This man is already behind on supporting the kids he DOES have but yet he can go out and have more? His obligations START with the kids he already had and I have NO sympathy for someone who wants to come whine about having to support other kids when they are continuing to have them. Children are not cheap to raise no matter where you live and why should someone have the right to start a 'new' family when the old one didn't go the way they wanted... and yes this goes for men AND women. I also don't have sympathy for the 'new' wives that come here wanting their husbands support lowered because they had a child. It's called getting your priorities straight.

 

[TNBSMommy]

Amen, Tigger!! Why should the child who was already there have to pay the price b/c you HAD to HAVE more kids.

 

[FloridaRob]

I am 100% positive that bankruptcy halts any kind of court action to arrest someone for child support. And if they are in jail, and bankruptcy if filed, they get out of jail right then. OR as soon as the bankruptcy attorney shows the filing to the judge.

This action does not eliminate the debt but allows the debtor to work out a payment agreement. And the bankruptcy ct will set the payment. NOT THE DRD or local judge.

Now the other attorney may come back in time and try to get the court to intervene but until the bankruptcy court has their say then HE WILL NOT GO TO JAIL.

it gives him time to get his affairs in order.

This is a fact>>>>