Joint custody of an infant or toddler

[adhoc]

What is the name of your state? MD

Hi,

When would the father have a good chance at getting 50/50 joint legal and physical custody?

I presume not before the child is 2 years old, and possibly older? How old, 4-5 years?
Currently the infant is 7 months old.

 

[>Charlotte<]

There is no standard with regard to the child's age. It sounds like you think if the mother is breast-feeding there is a sort of "waiting period" (which is a common misconception). Not true.

The most important issues are whether he is the legal father and whether, for a multitude of possible reasons, 50/50 custody would not be in the child's best interests.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? MD

Hi,

When would the father have a good chance at getting 50/50 joint legal and physical custody?

I presume not before the child is 2 years old, and possibly older? How old, 4-5 years?
Currently the infant is 7 months old.

This is a personal opinion only, but I don't think that 50/50 is good for a child until the child is old enough to have things explained to them, and to understand the explanation. If they don't understand what is going on, it can be difficult for them.

 

[nextwife]

Poster, we have some contributors to this board who themselves have been exercising joint physical custody from virtually birth.

 

[LdiJ]

Poster, we have some contributors to this board who themselves have been exercising joint physical custody from virtually birth.

Joint physical however is not always 50/50.

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

This is a personal opinion only, but I don't think that 50/50 is good for a child until the child is old enough to have things explained to them, and to understand the explanation. If they don't understand what is going on, it can be difficult for them.

This is, again, NOT a personal opinion board. And I bet Mom gets to decide that age too, right LdiJ?...

Joint physical however is not always 50/50.

This is true. 65/35 is considered joint physical custody in MD.

To answer the original question, age is not a factor, and if Dad fights for it(and distance isn't a huge factor) he can get 50/50.

 

[>Charlotte<]

There are just too many things and different scenarios that matter when deciding custody, adhoc, to address a "what are the chances" question without more information. But, again, the age of the child does not by itself disqualify the father.

If the parents cannot agree, a court will decide for them. The most important criterion in that case will be the best interest of the child. Ironically, if the parents themselves had put more importance on what is best for the child vs. just what they want (or engaging in a power struggle) the court wouldn't have to make that decision for them.

NS4Answers recently said something that I think sums up just about every post on this entire site: if you don't like the system, stay out of it.

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

.... Ironically, if the parents themselves had put more importance on what is best for the child vs. just what they want (or engaging in a power struggle) the court wouldn't have to make that decision for them....

Ain't it the truth...

 

[profmum]

What is the name of your state? MD

Hi,

When would the father have a good chance at getting 50/50 joint legal and physical custody?

I presume not before the child is 2 years old, and possibly older? How old, 4-5 years?
Currently the infant is 7 months old.

50-50 is very possible, it will depend on the circumstances of your particular situation.. most certainly or likely 50-50 can be awarded by the courts when the child is 2+ years.

 

[waitinMd]

How old is the child now?

 

[Perky]

7 months old

 

[waitinMd]

I totally missed that, thanks.

So I don't see why the wait until the child is over 2. Just ask for shared physical/legal 50/50 now.

I had 50/50 right away in Md, with a progressive "overnight" schedule.

(That is what the order said, but it didn't work out that way, I had her all the time!)

 

[LdiJ]

This is, again, NOT a personal opinion board. And I bet Mom gets to decide that age too, right LdiJ?...

Oh arg...

My dad has alzheimers, my mom just this past week put him into a nursing home because the hospital insisted that she could not care for him at home (at least temporarily) we all KNOW that its traumatic as heck for dad and he has sharply deteriorated...PARTICULARLY since no one can truly communicate with him and he can't understand what is happening to him.

Its NO DIFFERENT with an infant/toddler. If they have any rights at all its the right to have their best interest considered, and their best interest is not always the same as the best interest of the non-custodial parent, whether that parent be mom or dad.

Babies and toddlers need lots of time with both parents, but need to have their "world" be as stable as possible.

Imagine just how much you would enjoy having to sleep in different places every other night, or get used to different environments every other week, and then imagine how much worse it would be if you were unable to communicate your feelings/needs and have them fullfilled, and then you might just have some idea of how it would be for an infant or toddler.

Then imagine how it would feel to grieve for the parent that you have just gotten used to, only to have to readjust to the other parent again.

The ideal for babies would probably be having the parents alternate shifts, so that the baby was always with one parent during the day, and the other parent during the night. That is something that a baby could probably understand even if they aren't yet able to seriously communicate.

I am sick and tired of the attitude that what is best for the infant/toddler is what is best for the separated/divorced parents. Its not, and it never will be. In fact, what is best for any child will be what is best for THAT individual child, and it won't be exactly the same for any two children, it might not even be the same for two children in the same family.

In my opinon, when the system will become truly fair, is when it reaches the point where the system tells both parents to go to heck, and tailors a custody arrangement that is best for THAT child, at THAT time.

However....that's never going to happen.

 

[acmb05]

This is a personal opinion only, but I don't think that 50/50 is good for a child until the child is old enough to have things explained to them, and to understand the explanation. If they don't understand what is going on, it can be difficult for them.

So you figure about age 18 or so.

 

[NannyM]

My son received 50/50 physical and legal custody through the courts in Maryland and his daughter was only 1 year old. They do a 3/3/4/4 schedule till the child starts school and then will go to a week to week schedule. And yes he still pays child support.