Just a few concerns?

[GeorgiaMum2011]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Georgia.

Hallo all.

A few years ago my ex and I went to court for custody, legitimation, and child support. Our son was almost two at the time, I was granted sole legal and physical custody. His father was granted every other weekend, alternating holidays, and three weeks summer vacation. Our son's surname was court ordered to be changed.

At first everything was alright. Ex was paying weekly child support (as ordered) and picking our son up on his weekends. As time went by.. he picked him up less and less. He asked if he could pay monthly child support and whereas he is paying it.. he is not paying it during the month it is due.
He hadn't seen our son in almost two years until this past weekend. His excuse was because he and his wife had two more boys and they 'didnt think they'd get along'.

Our court order states that we are to notify each other promptly of moves and changes to cell numbers. I'd signed on an apartment a few months ago but we couldn't move in due to renovations. We moved officially within the last month but I was so sure I told him the new address. It's two doors down (literally a two second walk) and my family still lives in the old apartment. I've moved once in three years. Ex has moved several times and rarely ever tells me until after.
He told me he wanted a complete timeframe sent to him in email regarding my move.
This was his first weekend with our son in a very long time.
Is this something to be worried about?

The bigger worry I have is I have asked our vital records office how to change our sons surname many times. I've filled out the forms they've given me and each time I am told something different. I finally think I got a hold of someone who knows what they are doing and whereas I was told before to contact Atlanta office (by driving up there) and take the court order.. this form states my ex and I have to sign in front of a notary?

He never responded to messages or requests so when I needed proof of child support I never got it.. much less anything else.

Our relationship was very bad. He stalked me, verbally and physically abused me.. I panic when I have to see him.

Is there any other way to do this name change finally and officially? Our sons insurance and school documents use the changed last name.. I just never get a straight answer on what I'm supposed to do.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Georgia.

Hallo all.

A few years ago my ex and I went to court for custody, legitimation, and child support. Our son was almost two at the time, I was granted sole legal and physical custody. His father was granted every other weekend, alternating holidays, and three weeks summer vacation. Our son's surname was court ordered to be changed.

At first everything was alright. Ex was paying weekly child support (as ordered) and picking our son up on his weekends. As time went by.. he picked him up less and less. He asked if he could pay monthly child support and whereas he is paying it.. he is not paying it during the month it is due.
He hadn't seen our son in almost two years until this past weekend. His excuse was because he and his wife had two more boys and they 'didnt think they'd get along'.

Our court order states that we are to notify each other promptly of moves and changes to cell numbers. I'd signed on an apartment a few months ago but we couldn't move in due to renovations. We moved officially within the last month but I was so sure I told him the new address. It's two doors down (literally a two second walk) and my family still lives in the old apartment. I've moved once in three years. Ex has moved several times and rarely ever tells me until after.
He told me he wanted a complete timeframe sent to him in email regarding my move.
This was his first weekend with our son in a very long time.
Is this something to be worried about?

If you are talking about your move, no its nothing to worry about.

The bigger worry I have is I have asked our vital records office how to change our sons surname many times. I've filled out the forms they've given me and each time I am told something different. I finally think I got a hold of someone who knows what they are doing and whereas I was told before to contact Atlanta office (by driving up there) and take the court order.. this form states my ex and I have to sign in front of a notary?

He never responded to messages or requests so when I needed proof of child support I never got it.. much less anything else.
Our relationship was very bad. He stalked me, verbally and physically abused me.. I panic when I have to see him.

Is there any other way to do this name change finally and officially? Our sons insurance and school documents use the changed last name.. I just never get a straight answer on what I'm supposed to do.

I really cannot help you with that issue. However, it shouldn't be horribly complicated since you have a court order.

 

[Just Blue]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Georgia.

Hallo all.

A few years ago my ex and I went to court for custody, legitimation, and child support. Our son was almost two at the time, I was granted sole legal and physical custody. His father was granted every other weekend, alternating holidays, and three weeks summer vacation. Our son's surname was court ordered to be changed.

At first everything was alright. Ex was paying weekly child support (as ordered) and picking our son up on his weekends. As time went by.. he picked him up less and less. He asked if he could pay monthly child support and whereas he is paying it.. he is not paying it during the month it is due.
He hadn't seen our son in almost two years until this past weekend. His excuse was because he and his wife had two more boys and they 'didnt think they'd get along'.

Our court order states that we are to notify each other promptly of moves and changes to cell numbers. I'd signed on an apartment a few months ago but we couldn't move in due to renovations. We moved officially within the last month but I was so sure I told him the new address. It's two doors down (literally a two second walk) and my family still lives in the old apartment. I've moved once in three years. Ex has moved several times and rarely ever tells me until after.
He told me he wanted a complete timeframe sent to him in email regarding my move.
This was his first weekend with our son in a very long time.
Is this something to be worried about?

The bigger worry I have is I have asked our vital records office how to change our sons surname many times. I've filled out the forms they've given me and each time I am told something different. I finally think I got a hold of someone who knows what they are doing and whereas I was told before to contact Atlanta office (by driving up there) and take the court order.. this form states my ex and I have to sign in front of a notary?

He never responded to messages or requests so when I needed proof of child support I never got it.. much less anything else.

Our relationship was very bad. He stalked me, verbally and physically abused me.. I panic when I have to see him.

Is there any other way to do this name change finally and officially? Our sons insurance and school documents use the changed last name.. I just never get a straight answer on what I'm supposed to do.

Why did you feel it necessary to talk about the "abuse" when it has nothing to do with this situation?

 

[GeorgiaMum2011]

Sorry, the only reason I brought it up is because any time we have to meet (exchange of child or anything), he is always very belittling and makes it a habit to try and pull me away from anyone else around so nobody else hears.

If there is a way for me to just send the court order and everything be taken care of via mail or separately I would be delighted.

 

[LdiJ]

Sorry, the only reason I brought it up is because any time we have to meet (exchange of child or anything), he is always very belittling and makes it a habit to try and pull me away from anyone else around so nobody else hears.

If there is a way for me to just send the court order and everything be taken care of via mail or separately I would be delighted.

The only people who are going to be able to answer that for you are the people at the vital records office. I suggest going to the local one in person to get your questions answered.

 

[stealth2]

Might I suggest you consider some therapy for your panic? While understandable, you might find it useful in finding coping mechanisms.

 

[Just Blue]

Might I suggest you consider some therapy for your panic? While understandable, you might find it useful in finding coping mechanisms.

^^Like^^
**************....

 

[GeorgiaMum2011]

Might I suggest you consider some therapy for your panic? While understandable, you might find it useful in finding coping mechanisms.

Noted and will look into something in my area.



I will ask a different question, however. I don't want to start a new thread for this.

Given that it's been two years since my ex has seen our son (he never called, holidays or otherwise, and if messaged, never replied), if he were to take me back to court for a custody revision.. especially considering he couldn't be bothered to even begin to maintain the previous every other weekend, alternating holidays, and three weeks summer vacation.. would he really stand a chance in having it modified too much? He's not kept up with anything and our son is having to get to know his father all over again.
The only changes that are really significant are that I'm having another child and am engaged and my ex has had two more and is married. He just moved into his new house (he moves every year.. or at least has so far) and I have an apartment. We do not live in the same school district, same as before..

I've never kept our son away from him and if he needed to switch weekends around beforehand (when he would actually see our son).. I would let it happen.

But after the tenth weekend of calling him to see if he is picking our son up half an hour past pick up time.. just to be told no and break our sons heart.. I am worried. I don't want him to start asking where daddy is again and getting upset. It's out of my hands.. but still.

 

[not2cleverRed]

Noted and will look into something in my area.



I will ask a different question, however. I don't want to start a new thread for this.

Given that it's been two years since my ex has seen our son (he never called, holidays or otherwise, and if messaged, never replied), if he were to take me back to court for a custody revision.. especially considering he couldn't be bothered to even begin to maintain the previous every other weekend, alternating holidays, and three weeks summer vacation.. would he really stand a chance in having it modified too much? He's not kept up with anything and our son is having to get to know his father all over again.
The only changes that are really significant are that I'm having another child and am engaged and my ex has had two more and is married. He just moved into his new house (he moves every year.. or at least has so far) and I have an apartment. We do not live in the same school district, same as before..

I've never kept our son away from him and if he needed to switch weekends around beforehand (when he would actually see our son).. I would let it happen.

But after the tenth weekend of calling him to see if he is picking our son up half an hour past pick up time.. just to be told no and break our sons heart.. I am worried. I don't want him to start asking where daddy is again and getting upset. It's out of my hands.. but still.

If he takes it back to court for a modification, you can always counter that you would also like the order to be modified... to reflect the status quo. Assuming, of course, that you have been documenting what parenting time has been exercised/not exercised. You might not get that modification, but it certainly would make it less likely that there will be an increase in the amount of court ordered parenting time for Dad.

I think you should also modify child support to go through the state. There is usually a small fee attached, but that is outweighed by the convenience of 1) documentation of cs paid, 2) less direct communication with your ex - certainly no nagging about cs, and 3) efficiency in intercepting $ for child support. Seriously, as individuals it's a lot of work to get someone's wages garnished, intercept their tax refund, or freeze and seize bank accounts.