Just a question??

[LdiJ]

Thank you, Your Honor. (Not flirting Mom, really! Judgy is all yours) I kinda figured that this was gonna get complicated. I just wondered if anyone knew or would have gone thru this too. I just don't want to waste my time on money or court when he'll never pay. I also weigh the option because eventually he will end up in jail and what good would that do our children (he does visit with them faithfully) Hopefully, he'll just TPR in July when we would qualify for the stepparent adoption and then we wouldn't have to worry about the support anymore. If he decides not to TPR, you bet my rear will be in court too. I'm tired of trying to be nice.

I think that you would be in a stronger position overall....even to convince him to TPR...if the arrearages were being tracked by the CSE. That would be one of the advantages of filing for contempt...you don't have to use an attorney.

 

[KAMIAKI1]

I don't believe you have to bother with going to court again just to get the local Support Enforcement Office to open an account and start trying to get him to pay. My state runned Office of Support Enforcement takes my ex to court when they deem it neccessary. I don't have to even go to court. They notify me if and when there is a court date. NO CHARGE TO ME.
QUOTE: "One of the reasons I haven't bothered with contempt is because it will be a waste of my time." " I will never see anything out of him. I really don't need the money (wow 50.00 per month), but it's the principle of matter. They are his kids too and me and my DH shouldn't have to foot the entire bill."

So you see, you will not have to even go to court. What happens to him happens. You have no control except to tell them to take him to court if they want to. They don't even charge him for them taking him to court!
I will never see much from my ex either. And he tries to get me to let him off the hook. I tell him it's all up to the State, not me and I don't feel comfortable changing what the State has set up. It's not my fault he's a dead beat! But then again, you don't really need the money, so why are you asking this? But to answer your questions in your original post:
My questions are these:
1: Will the previous orders be taken into consideration when they order this support for child #4? Will the other mom and I be put on hold for him to pay back the state first?

2: Since my order is not thru the CSU yet, will it even be considered at all?

You really have no previous order except your decree which YOU are not taking him to court on anything. The other mom shouldn't be put on hold. So there is nothing really to consider in my opinion.

 

[Rushia]

I think that you would be in a stronger position overall....even to convince him to TPR...if the arrearages were being tracked by the CSE. That would be one of the advantages of filing for contempt...you don't have to use an attorney.

As all the arrears stack up, (mine, other mom, and now this order) he is getting very worried. I think he may do the TPR, we have discussed it previously as we have been looking for ways to make sure that his father and stepmother do not obtain custody of the children in the event of my death. If he agrees to this, we are looking at an open adoption, so that he'll have exactly what he wants. No real responsibility and can still play daddy. What I meant by wasting time and money is not on a lawyer per say. It's the fact that I'll have to take time off of work to do this and I work in a factory. I'm a peon basically. To much missed time is grounds for dismissal and even if they didn't fire me, I'd lose a lot of standing within the company. I'd miss all this time for in the end...nothing.

 

[Rushia]

I don't believe you have to bother with going to court again just to get the local Support Enforcement Office to open an account and start trying to get him to pay. My state runned Office of Support Enforcement takes my ex to court when they deem it neccessary. I don't have to even go to court. They notify me if and when there is a court date. NO CHARGE TO ME.
QUOTE: "One of the reasons I haven't bothered with contempt is because it will be a waste of my time." " I will never see anything out of him. I really don't need the money (wow 50.00 per month), but it's the principle of matter. They are his kids too and me and my DH shouldn't have to foot the entire bill."

So you see, you will not have to even go to court. What happens to him happens. You have no control except to tell them to take him to court if they want to. They don't even charge him for them taking him to court!
I will never see much from my ex either. And he tries to get me to let him off the hook. I tell him it's all up to the State, not me and I don't feel comfortable changing what the State has set up. It's not my fault he's a dead beat! But then again, you don't really need the money, so why are you asking this? But to answer your questions in your original post:
My questions are these:
1: Will the previous orders be taken into consideration when they order this support for child #4? Will the other mom and I be put on hold for him to pay back the state first?

2: Since my order is not thru the CSU yet, will it even be considered at all?

You really have no previous order except your decree which YOU are not taking him to court on anything. The other mom shouldn't be put on hold. So there is nothing really to consider in my opinion.

Unfortunately, in my area of NY, yes, I would have to take a day off and go down to court and file. I cannot just call and/or show. CSU will not automatically go after a NCP. The CP must go to court, get ordered the garnishment, and then go to CSU with the order. The reason that I have asked these questions is because I have begun the process to do this and just have not yet completed the forms. As I have said, it's not the money that I would get, it's the principle of the matter. Since these other monies have been previously ordered, I questioned whether the state would get it's money first (and then the rest of us). Remember Mom #1 and I get no state assistance, Mom #3 does, which is the only way in this state CSU will go after a NCP.

 

[Summerland45]

Child support

HI! I live in Kansas. Not sure how the laws differ here but I have some of the same similar situation. My ex has 4 kids also. Two from first marriage, 1 with me, our son who is 16 and another with a woman he never married but claims as his own. I receive child support on a regular basis now but its been a long road. The first two kids are 25 and 23 and ex has just now finished paying off arrearage to their mom. At the last hearing to set child support for my son, the amount of $ he paid to the 4th child was deducted from his income ($200.00) however, they made him produce a statement for the amount he paid as there is no court order. They didn't take into consideration what he paid the first wife in arrearage, but the limit they would take out of his income each month is 55%. When he finished paying off first wife, my c.s. went up a little bit because it freed up some of his 55% of his income. He owes me aprox $6,000. The way he got that much behind was by not paying the current amount ordered to pay. Believe me it was hard to sit by and support my kids by myself and not get any help. Hope this helped a little bit. He'll be paying for my son's support long after he turns 18.
He even tried taking me back to court for custody to avoid paying the support until he learned that I wouldn't have to pay him until all of his arrearage was paid off. When he discovered that , the thought wasn't so sweet to be supporting a teen with no support whatsoever.

Take care and good luck
Summerland45

 

[Rushia]

HI! I live in Kansas. Not sure how the laws differ here but I have some of the same similar situation. My ex has 4 kids also. Two from first marriage, 1 with me, our son who is 16 and another with a woman he never married but claims as his own. I receive child support on a regular basis now but its been a long road. The first two kids are 25 and 23 and ex has just now finished paying off arrearage to their mom. At the last hearing to set child support for my son, the amount of $ he paid to the 4th child was deducted from his income ($200.00) however, they made him produce a statement for the amount he paid as there is no court order. They didn't take into consideration what he paid the first wife in arrearage, but the limit they would take out of his income each month is 55%. When he finished paying off first wife, my c.s. went up a little bit because it freed up some of his 55% of his income. He owes me aprox $6,000. The way he got that much behind was by not paying the current amount ordered to pay. Believe me it was hard to sit by and support my kids by myself and not get any help. Hope this helped a little bit. He'll be paying for my son's support long after he turns 18.
He even tried taking me back to court for custody to avoid paying the support until he learned that I wouldn't have to pay him until all of his arrearage was paid off. When he discovered that , the thought wasn't so sweet to be supporting a teen with no support whatsoever.

Take care and good luck
Summerland45

Thank you for your story. This is kinda what I figured would be happen. In my case though, all children are under the age of 9. He's going to be paying for a loooooooong time.

 

[Summerland45]

Thank you for your story. This is kinda what I figured would be happen. In my case though, all children are under the age of 9. He's going to be paying for a loooooooong time.

Long time is an understatement!! Some states suspend the DL from the NCP who is behind in CS. Im not sure exactly how that helps if they can't drive they can't work but maybe they restrict it or something. Make sure you are also getting income tax refunds etc for the back support. This month my ex paid $7.97 towards his arrearage! That's not going to get him caught up very fast. Hang in there and fight for your kids and what is rightfully yours. I can see both sides, as a mom with an ex and as a wife with a husband with an ex wife who totally takes advantage of being a woman and KS courts always find for the women!! I am a woman, but sometimes the dad's are good and faithfully pay their c.s. and ought to get a break.

Take care!
Summerland 45

 

[Rushia]

Long time is an understatement!! Some states suspend the DL from the NCP who is behind in CS. Im not sure exactly how that helps if they can't drive they can't work but maybe they restrict it or something. Make sure you are also getting income tax refunds etc for the back support. This month my ex paid $7.97 towards his arrearage! That's not going to get him caught up very fast. Hang in there and fight for your kids and what is rightfully yours. I can see both sides, as a mom with an ex and as a wife with a husband with an ex wife who totally takes advantage of being a woman and KS courts always find for the women!! I am a woman, but sometimes the dad's are good and faithfully pay their c.s. and ought to get a break.

Take care!
Summerland 45

That DL was taken a loooong time ago for the support due to oldest daughter, he doesn't bother to work much, so taxes are moot as well.

 

[Rushia]

Just an update for some giggles. Mom #1 is now receiving medicaid for their daughter, Ex has an upcoming court date for that. State FINALLY sent the court date for mom #3. They are still together and planning the wedding.

sigh...And this is why I don't bother taking him. He is on unemployment at the moment. 50 per month just isn't worth it.