Just graduated, father wants diploma

[VeronicaGia]

I have very reasonable concern about this. I mean, what if years later he claims he needs a copy of other documents? What if he says that he needs something from my college? When/how will I know that it has crossed the line? To this day he has wanted to see everything of mine, and I thought that since high school is over now that the privacy invasion would end as well. He has done nothing but play games with me. I feel that he is not being a man by not giving me the full truth/explanation of this. Is there a reason why he would not be saying why?

Well, the situation is this: Once you are no longer a subject to the child support/custody order, you will not have to supply him with anything. If he is still under a court order to pay for your college, then he can ask the court to demand your grades and any other pertinent information from you to prove you are actually going to and passing college. If he is able to prove you are graduated from high school, and stop his support order, you, he and your mother will be free of each other. He will not have the right to ask for it, because you will be an adult, you will be officially emancipated from the court system, and you can do what you please, including telling him to take a hike if he wants your grades.

If you expect him to pay for college through whatever means, he has the right to see if you're doing well or not. Why would he pay if you're failing, or not even attending?

Send him a copy, let him file his paperwork with the court to get you emancipated, and if you never want to talk to him again, you don't have to. I don't approve of it, but it is your life.

If he keeps paying while you should be emancipated, he could ask the court to order your mother to pay him back.

 

[stephenk]

"If he keeps paying while you should be emancipated, he could ask the court to order your mother to pay him back."

Not true at all.

 

[huskerfan41]

This message sickens me

this post makes me completely sick to my stomach...

this kid may be a victim of PAS -- but he certainly has no respect for the one who has probably provided support all these years...

he said it himself -- his father had 50/50 joint custody -- but they didn't choose to go and see him...

and he is saying that his father is invading his privacy -- well, i'm sorry, but up until the age of 18 -- there is no invasion of privacy when it comes to a parent checking up on their child.

his father had every legal right to know everything about his child's life -- considering also that the child didn't wish to tell him anything...

i don't know if any of you ever watch the show "The Shield." --

but this post makes me, "...want to slap you silly..."

 

[qwer9182]

This is what concerns me: he is telling me to get him a copy over the phone and via email, but he recently called me at my mother's house and left a message on the machine stating everything (such as the fact that my sister was going over for dinner and that he expects me Saturday) but no mention of the copy. I am starting to believe that since it is my mom's answering machine he does not want to leave a message about it for fear of her getting the message. I asked my mom about it and she does not understand what he wants it for. Why would he want to keep this a secret from her? It seems he is INVOLVING me and EXCLUDING her, unlike what was mentioned earlier.

 

[withonel]

qwer9182 - You've never said what you're afraid of. As previous posters have pointed out, he most likely wants to file to stop the support for you since you've graduated - that seems to be the issue.
You've made no valid arguement for not giving him a copy of your diploma.
Of course you don't have to give him a copy, I'm fairly sure there is no law that says you have to, but common sense says it's no big deal if you do give him one.
Just give him the copy, you've already told your mother about it so you're not being disloyal to her.
Make a copy, put it in the mail, or give it to him on Saturday and get over it!

 

[stealth2]

WHAT the freakin' hell do you thing he can do with your diploma?!?!?! Besides prove that his CS obligation has been fulfilled.

 

[huskerfan41]

i think this kid has been smoking too much pot -- he is soooo paranoid -- acting an awfully lot like a PAS victim...

and you know what the really horrible thing about this post is -- his father would probably beat the **** out of all of us for even daring to talk crossly to his son...

 

[qwer9182]

I think the most disturbed people are the ones on this message board. I am posting a question exactly because of the reason you stated--what can he do with a copy of the diploma? I figured that it'd be safe to ask and find out if there was anything as a last minute thing. I'm gonna make a copy, wrap it up, and present to him for father's day. It's the only thing it seems he really wants. I don't know what the hell all of this PAS garbage is about. There is nothing wrong with being cautious and looking before you leap, especially in the world that we live in today that has such people in it!

 

[frylover]

Ok this has prompted a question for me, or rather, for my hubby.

When the child reaches the age that is specified by the state for support to end, or support has been paid up to the time agreed upon in the divorce decree, do you have to file a motion to terminate support or can you just stop paying it?