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Just my opinion

  • Thread starter Thread starter jen0923
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jen0923

Guest
What is the name of your state? WI Just posting an opinion I have - why is child support mainly based on income? I feel that depending on where you live the average cost of raising a child should be calculated, then split in half. Obviously it would not be an exact science, but I think this would help put an end to the money grubbing parents that recieve exorbitant support amounts (and end up using the support for their car payments) and put an end to those that refuse to work or find a better job in order to keep their payments low. Honestly, if I were to die, my ex would suddenly have to FIND A WAY to support my daughter, why not start forcing them to step up NOW? Those payers that make a much larger income could be ordered to make payments into a college fund and/or improvement fund used for buying educational tools (PC, reference libraries, private schooling, etc.). Why is my brother's ex-wife driving two brand new cars off his support and I can't even get my ex to hold health insurance for more than a week straight. THe cost of buying or renting a home and each extra bedroom could be averaged, the cost of food, formula, etc - easy, the average cost of daycare - pretty simple. These basic needs should be met by child support. The extras are the things that can be worked out.
 


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TracyMT

Guest
Hi Jen, here in Montana, a cost of living figure is deducted from income before child support is calculated. The cost of living is $12,000/year. That would pay, what? Maybe rent and some food? I know, it's unfair. But here, they add on for daycare expenses, too. I totally agree with what you're saying, though!
 
Cap

Another thing to think about is putting a cap on there as well. My husband pays over $800 a month in child support and that doesn't include the portion that her mother is technically supposed to contribute ($500). You would think the kid would be going to a nice private school on that, but it only means more trips to Mervyn's for her mother. It would be nice to pay simply what the child needs, so we can put the unused portion into a college fund. Just because she is the primary parent doesn't mean she can manage money!

On the other hand my ex doesn't pay child support at all and refuses to work. It's all very frustrating on all ends.
 

cohiba

Junior Member
The Hole System Is A Crock!!!

I never in my life have ever seen a society that actually penalizes people for producing life like ours! Just look at the numbers...the Child Support System in America isn't working. It's not doing what it originally was designed to do! And what's worse, people who have to pay the support...just have to grin and bare it with no recorse what-so-ever.
 

BethM

Member
why not start forcing them to step up NOW?

It might be a bit hard to force someone to "step up" if they have no marketable skills. The world is still full of women (I'm not one of them) who put their careers and lives on hold to stay at home with children, run the household and support their husbands in their careers. How is a woman or man, for that matter who has lived that life supposed to be able to "step up?"

I use my child support for my car payment. I don't drive an expensive car but it's only a couple of years old. I spend 90% more time, on average, than my ex husband does driving my son to and from whatever or wherever he needs to go. Why shouldn't I pay for the car that I use to do this out of child support?

You would think the kid would be going to a nice private school on that, but it only means more trips to Mervyn's for her mother.

The child needs a roof over her head, she needs food and clothes and school expenses, there is the expense of transportation, entertainment...so many things the father would be contributing to that would cost him far more than $800 a month if he had never divorced. I don't know where you live but I make a very decent salary myself and if I were only getting $800 a month plus my salary I would find it hard to make ends meet. I have two children, not one, my ex husband pays child support but at the end of the year I figure up expenses and he has only paid about 35% of what it actually cost to raise my children.

Don't get me wrong, I think the system is screwed up also. The problem is that the system doesn't really take into consideration the children, the lifestyles the children were used to living and the importance of not interrupting a child's life just so their parents can go their separate ways. It's not about who has to pay the most or trying to force someone who can't make a decent salary suffer for lack of marketable skills.

Divorce is not easy for most...it's hardest on children though and that is who the system has failed to protect. It was not set in place to protect the parent or someone who feels he is unjustly paying too much support and it has failed to protect the ones it was meant to protect in the first place.

My ex husband and his new wife live on 3 times the income his children and I do and I get the same crap from him. To hear him talk you would think I was out gassing up my lear jet every morning and cruising in my Hummer every afternoon and all on his child support. Problem is, some people resent having to pay anything and live under the illusion that ex wives or ex husbands are out blowing all that cash on having a good time.

The thing that is not being dealt with is reality...the reality of just how expensive it is to raise a child.
 

cohiba

Junior Member
misunderstanding

Actually, I should have clarified what I said. I do feel think if a child was born while the parents were married, (or got married after the child was born), paying some form of child support/alimony is good once the divorce is final.

However, the law as it stands today, simply does not take in consideration the life of the person obligated to pay support!
THE ACTIVIST JUDGES DON'T CARE! Child Support has become "big business" along the Judicial lines. The government buracracy of collecting child support has grown in record numbers....it's out of control! Eventually, they will form a new branch of government, with a "Child-Support' Czar to run it , lol.

Don't get me wrong, I don't hate children, just the opposite, but i honestly feel the well-being of a child should not be handled/dictated threw the courts.
 

Shay-Pari'e

Senior Member
cohiba said:
Actually, I should have clarified what I said. I do feel think if a child was born while the parents were married, (or got married after the child was born), paying some form of child support/alimony is good once the divorce is final.

However, the law as it stands today, simply does not take in consideration the life of the person obligated to pay support! That is not true. All states go by the income of the parent, his/her obligations, other children to support. Your way off base, and the child didn't ask to be here and deserves to be supported until they are of age.

THE ACTIVIST JUDGES DON'T CARE! Child Support has become "big business" along the Judicial lines. The government buracracy of collecting child support has grown in record numbers.... That is great news.

it's out of control! Eventually, they will form a new branch of government, with a "Child-Support' Czar to run it , lol. Please do not deplete your brain of anymore oxygen.Don't get me wrong, I don't hate children, just the opposite, but i honestly feel the well-being of a child should not be handled/dictated threw the courts.

Just who do you think should handle it? The point is, there is real scum in this world who think more of themselves than the children they helped produce, and there are NCP's that have never missed a payment.

This debate is so common, but when I read a post such as your's, all I can do is feel sorry for you that you do not understand the importance of the child.
 
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haiku

Senior Member
sigh.......

If you marry someone, who has never held a job long, always looking for the next thing, if you marry someone and you are ALWAYS living paycheck to paycheck, what makes you think child support is going to be a huge windfall and/or easy to get? If you likely had to police everything the person did, while married to them, you will not be able to do that anymore once divorced.

If you marry someone who was never a good money manager, who always had money for 'toys" but never for bills, what makes you think child support will make them responsible and open up bank accounts and send the kids to private school? likely if they got custody, as 'primary caretaker" the kids are too young, or they don't have a high powered job, enabling them to use your "large" amount of support as "fun money" its not fun money, its HALF of what your kids cost you, were you still together, and again, once divorced you no longer get to police what is done with that money.

Children of a parent who earns 100,000+ a year, (example) will always have different 'wants" and "needs" than the child whose parent earns 35,000, or less (example). And they should not get the same amount of child support either.
 
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kat1963

Senior Member
You can’t change the child support laws without custody/divorce reform. The laws need to be changed to provide both parents with equal access to their children (unless otherwise proven unfit, move away or incarcerated). No fault divorce needs to be abolished & replace with programs that support the family structure. How could this NOT be in the best interest of the child? With 50/50 parenting plan, no child support needs to change hands as both parents support the children to the best of their ability & within their own income means. Yes, this just might require some thinking & planning by both parties. Imagine that? One might need to THINK that they just might have to someday support their children themselves? Better get an education/career training/employment before that happens right??? Child support would come into play if one parent is unavailable for parenting. The states know how much it costs to raise a child; they pay it out in foster care benefits monthly. This is how support will be primarily based, not necessarily on income.
Furthermore, partial lottery proceeds need to be funneled into birth control research especially for MEN and for reproductive education. I would like to see mandatory *family life planning* classes in each high school. Teach them reality BEFORE they make mistakes. Teach them to THINK before they act. INFORM them of choices & consequences for their actions. Each state will have clinics that provide, free of charge, vasectomy, tubal ligations & birth control. Yup, just walk in! These can be staffed by doctors who will benefit by way of partial student loan forgiveness. Heck, we send them out of the control for this stuff; I say we keep them home!
I could stop here but ahhh, shucks. Proven false abuse allegations, PAS (brainwashing of the children, let’s call a spade a spade here, it doesn’t need a fancy title) or anything else that presents a false front in order to gain custody will be met with mandatory jail time. I’m all for building a new prison to house them, preferably in the middle of Alaska & funded by historically high court fines for perjury. No Camp Cupcake for YOU! CLINK!
Things have to change folks; this antiquated system is no longer working. We are raising a generation of angry men & stupid women. Studies have show that children who do not have both parents in their lives have a 70% greater risk of drug use, suicide, drop out & teen pregnancy. Studies also show that children who live in a single female household run a greater risk of death then homes that contain firearms. Today, 60% of all children will spend sometime with a single female as head of household. Think this will just increase the welfare rolls? Think again.
“Daughters from female-headed households are much more likely than daughters from two-parent families to themselves become single parents and to rely on welfare for support as adults.....Living with a single mother at age 16 increases a daughter's risk of becoming a household head by 72 percent for whites and 100 percent for blacks. The public costs of this differential emerge in figures showing that a daughter living in a single parent household at any time during adolescence is far more likely (127 percent more likely among whites, 164 percent among blacks) to receive welfare benefits as an adult, compared to daughters from two-parent households."
The Garbage Generation, page 240
Something to think about it, something to act on. I do not feel sorry for those who sit around & whine about how they are being abused by the system if they fail to act on it. VOTE, write letters, protest. Tell your elected officials what you want & if they aren’t for it that you will see to it that they are voted out office. Education, education, education…this is the key. Our laws need to change to keep families together, children need BOTH influences DAILY, even if they can’t live under the same roof.
KAT
 

cohiba

Junior Member
paridise you simply don't get it!

You are missing the point completely!!! Just because people pay support, does'nt mean it's right! Trust me, the ONLY reason they pay is because it's law,...THAT'S THE POINT!!!
Also, you totally distorted what I said about Judges not caring about the well-being of the person obligated to pay.
I hate to bust your bubble, but all they, (judges), look at, or care about, is how much and how fast they get the checks!
The bottom line is....the person paying child support is now the property of the legal system...AND THAT IS WRONG!
Whatever happened to personal freedom in America? We should penalize people in America for their decision NOT to be a father or mother? Eventhough, most rationalizing people may not agree with their behavior, who gives the judges and the judicial system the right to DICTATE what they should do. It is so anti-American...it's become to rediculous to fathom!

I guess if "paridise" had his or her way, we might as well just put all non-paying parents, (scum), in prison, and throw away the key! That would really help the well-being of the children involved huh! I would bet you, (paridise), are a proud recepient of child support, which could explain your negative, anti-american view. Hey but the good news is....you have the activist judges in your corner...so that makes everything ok, lol.
 

BelizeBreeze

Senior Member
Just because people pay support, does'nt mean it's right! Trust me, the ONLY reason they pay is because it's law,...THAT'S THE POINT!!!
Really? Would you like to see my Support order from the court? It would be a miracle because one does not exist. Just the monthly checks for $5,000.

I hate to bust your bubble, but all they, (judges), look at, or care about, is how much and how fast they get the checks!
Would you like some cheese with that WHINE?

Whatever happened to personal freedom in America?
It's alive and well. You see, you have the freedom NOT to pay your support and the legal system has the freedom to introduce you to 'Bubba'. You also had the 'freedom' to keep your zipper closed.

Eventhough, most rationalizing people may not agree with their behavior, who gives the judges and the judicial system the right to DICTATE what they should do.
It's a silly little concept called the law. DUH!

I guess if "paridise" had his or her way, we might as well just put all non-paying parents, (scum), in prison, and throw away the key! That would really help the well-being of the children involved huh!
Nope, not a bit. But the same as NOT paying your legal obligation helps their well-being.

It is so anti-American...it's become to rediculous to fathom!
Then move. Germany has a 45% tax on income and has many people in prison for not paying support. Of course, Iraq has a few openings but you wouldn't like it there.

So now, would you like to end this discussion or have Mary end it for you. It's enough.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
cohiba said:
We should penalize people in America for their decision NOT to be a father or mother?

Once you CHOOSE to sleep with someone, the decision is made. Yes, women have the option to end the pregnancy. Men have the option to keep their pants zipped. If they can't do that, condoms + spermicides are pretty effective. As are vasectomies. If you don't want to be a parent, then take action for yourself to avoid it. If you listen to the other person that it's taken care of? You get what you deserve. Either way - the kid never asked to be born, and the parents are both responsible for supporting him/her. It really is that simple.
 

no$$4us

Member
child support--2 views

One I am a parent that was taken away from my job and told that I could stay at home because he wanted a cool job in another state. If I didn't like it --it was my own fault.
He could not support us alone and I was stuck at home with 2 small kids and the job I had previously was not available.
To split the child support equally is not right.
After the divorce, my ex split and refused to pay.
I paid for their private school as you mentioned --an agreement we made.
I paid for their health care and could not afford insurance as I was an independent contractor and still am.
My ex is a chemical engineer and was suppose to pay alimony for me to go back to school. That did not happen.
He is currently making around $90,000 a year. He forced my company into the ground which I had just established 4 years ago because, he again, decided not to pay for quite some time and I had to MAKE UP THE DIFFERENCE.
By the way, I paid cash for 3 of my cars and the car I am currently driving is the first car payment I have had in 8 years.
Don't be so quick to judge who is doing what with their child support.
Out of 10 years of divorce, My ex has paid about 3 years worth of child support.
Feel free to go to WANTEDPOSTERS.COM. It is a website for deadbeat dads.
Look up Troy Dupuis. You will see a man who tried to get out of his child support by petitioning the court to remove his parental rights without anyone knowing this.
He has no desire to pay or provide for his kids. I still have not asked him to provide medical support because of his lack of consistency.
 

no$$4us

Member
My second opinion

Child support enforcement sucks. The agency is also discriminatory toward the clients. When I call to see what can be done, the agency gets fed up.
Well it is not my fault that my ex is the one not paying and that it is their job to help.
There are many laws available and they can only be applied if you are aware of them and how they apply to you. You also have to keep demanding until someone sees how the law fits your case.
Most of the time a minimum wage person is trying to tell me the law. They are trying to get me off the phone,
They are logging their calls and telling me that they got my message.
The laws allows deadbeat dads lots of time to run and hide.
The law will not allow child support to track a person if they hide their bills under someone else's name.
The law does not help in interstate cases. Any state involved wants the other states to take the case.
Enforcement of UIFSA URESA and federal guidelines is a joke.
The power to take bank accounts, legal licenses, and property is a joke.
Because although these can happen and my ex is $43,000 in debt they are still only collecting the minumum and giving him plenty of time to pay off the debt that he so quickly ran up on me every month that he did not pay.
He took away from my kids that amount and denied them proper medical care and yet that is not considered.
There is no interest collected.
He has never gone to jail. He has enjoyed a regular lifestyle with no penalties.
He has 2 outstanding warrants for his arrest in Texas and only if he goes to Texas and is found there will anything happen.
Someone needs to take that bad boy and duct tape him to the courthouse step in Collin County Texas with a message that says " I have been a very bad boy, please help me." :eek:
 

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