Just wondering what to expect

[Feeny511]

Father called again.

Thank you everyone for all the replies. I just want what is best for my son.
His father called again today, I told him that I meet him with our son we should meet and talk things over about court and just so that I can get an idea of who he is and what he is about. He said that he is willing to go at whatever pace I want. He said his son is his top priority now. (I dont know why it wasnt before.) He thanked me for all that I have done. He sounds so convinceing its scary.
Until we go to court I think that I will meet him out with our son a couple times so that they can get to know one another. Because I dont want to go into court and have him get unsupervised to start off with. So as long as he is willing to go at my pace that is what I will do. I taught my son not to talk to strangers, I cant imagine how confused he would be if I was court ordered to let him go with alone.
I dont know if anyone cares about what I just wrote but I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who replied.
Wish me luck!

 

[bonkers101]

My ex left when I was pg. He saw son twice for about five minutes, then the courts ordered child support when son was 15 months and suddenly he wanted 50/50 custody.

They started with supervised visits in a court ordered visitation center, two hours every weekend for a month ~ and we met at a park or mcdonalds or something once more during the week for an hour or so. It progressed to four hour periods of time once he (and I) completed a Kids in the Middle class, then eventually, about 6 months later they had their first overnight. After a year of these stairstepped visits it went to the standard paperwork.

I wish you the best of luck, I know how hard it is. My ex split when son was 3 after the judge threw the book at him for trying to take full custody. He had only been in his life for a year = There was again no contact with dad then I moved away 7 months or so later, he called me a year later claiming I kidnapped son. Son is 7 years old now and sees dad EOW and dad is just turning life upside down again.

Honestly - it is horrible to say this, but neither son nor father are happy with each other, they both expected something better I think. Dad is constantly belittling and talking down about son and who he is as a person and son is extremely disappointed in a dad that he was so eager to bond with and please, and his father is not that kind of man at all.

If he is serious about being in his son's life, make it easy on them both, but make him aware of the pain that child is going to feel if he up and decides he isn't having any fun with son or child support is too much and takes off again.

Before son's dad came back into his life this time around, he had another new wife, (he had a different one the last time he was in his life) new step-children, new baby etc so I had him send him a couple of letters with photos before they even saw each other. That seemed to help break the ice some.

Good luck to you, hang in there, it is better to have a dad around, unfortunately, even if dad is a creep in mom's eyes, he may be golden in the kid's eyes. A crappy dad is better than no dad MOST of the time. (not all)

 

[Feeny511]

Thank you

Thank you for the reply.
I just want this situation to work out best for my son. He deserves to have the best dad in the world. I cant imagine going that long by choice without seeing my child or knowing what they are doing. It amazes me.