Justice is only for those who can afford it???

[Broken]

What is the name of your state? Illinois

I went into court this morning, and lost. My wife and I have been seperated for about 6-months. She got an attorney and filed for the divorce. For the past six months, our two children have spent about 76-hours per week with me, and about 92-hours per week with my wife. The sleep AT MY HOME 4-nights per week. We agreed on joing custody, but we couldn't come to an agreement on child support. Given the amount of time we each had the girls, child support didn't really seem appropriate since we each pay for the time we spend with them equally. Well, the judge awarded her 28% of my pay, which means I will have to get another job in order to survive... which means I have to give up my time with my children. Can someone tell me where the justice is in that? Am I wrong in thinking that my girls need both of their parents, not just one of us and 28% of the others pay? Is there anything I can do? I'm not able to afford an attorney, so I guess that's probably why I lost. I'm not a secondary parent, but I left there feeling like I was a terrible father this morning. What happened? How can the state decide to do that to someone?

Please help...

 

[VeronicaGia]

What happened with the custody/visitation issue? Do you still have the child as much as you did prior to the support order?

 

[Broken]

That's the thing... in order for me to be able to survive now, I am going to have to pick up another job at night, which means I won't be able to spend that time with my children. Things have been working fine for the past 6-months. Now, because of Illinois State Law... I can't afford to see my children! How is this justice?!?! Why would he award her residential custody when they've been sleeping at my house 4-nights out of the week? I give them baths, meals, vitamins... their mother feeds them when they're with her. She doesn't read to them, she doesn't play with them... she RARELY gives them baths. This is not right!!!

 

[stealth2]

When she filed for divorce and you were served with the papers - did you respond to them?

 

[Broken]

Yes, I did. It was a very simplified form. There wasn't any sort of questions on there... it was just my information, and that I was going in "Pro Se". Oh, and it was $108 for that...

 

[stealth2]

Aaaaah, I found the answer. Unfortunately for you, IL bases CS only on the NCP's income and does not include the amount of time you have the kids. You're pretty well screwed, dude. I'm sorry.

 

[Broken]

There's got to be a way. This is not at all right. How can they think that money is more important to my kids than their father? I'm a damn good Dad, and I want more than anything to be part of my kids lives. But just saying that "I can't AFFORD to see my kids" makes me sick...

There's got to be something.

 

[krispenstpeter]

Well, the judge awarded her 28% of my pay, which means I will have to get another job in order to survive

That's a load of crap. YOU are the one making money an issue. So you'll have to cut out the cable tv, the burgers and fries and all the other crap in your life.

Of course, you really don't have to. It's only your kids right? Who the hell are they to expect anything from you?

 

[Broken]

Wait a minute, please don't come off on me like I'm a deadbeat dad. I don't have cable, I don't eat out all the time, or have any other "crap" as you put it, in my life.

My kids mean the world to me. The fact is, I don't make a ton of money. Yes, I'm making money the issue because as it stands, I can't afford to put a decent roof over my head now (and by decent, I mean a $600/month apartment is out of reach now). I don't care what I drive, or if I get cable TV or not... I want my children. If I had 28% to spare, I would have no problem giving it to their mother. But the fact is, now that I'm losing that 28%, I have to sacrifice my time with my kids just to survive.

Please help... don't make things worse. This is the absolute pits, and I hope you never have to go through it.

 

[creditorsrus]

Your situation does stink, and unfortunately alot of GOOD fathers get stuck with the same problems. The same thing happened to my father when my parents split. There's not much you can do. I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news. But, spend your time with your children wisely and cherish every moment. That's all you can do...

 

[TLWE]

I hate to be the bearer of even MORE bad news for ya....but, after you get another job, your income goes up. Your ex can take you back for a CS modification and your CS payments could go up, depending on the % increase of your new combined salary. I don't know what the amount of time is before your ex can file for CS modification in IL. Someone else here might be able to give you that info.

A good info site on CS is www.deltabravo.net

 

[Broken]

I just want the same amount of time I had with my kids PRIOR to today... it's really not about the money. If I could survive without the 28% of my income, I wouldn't care, but this is making it so that I can't even provide for them when they're with me! How can this happen? A big part of my reasoning for leaving my wife was because of her lack of involvement with my children. Now they're going to be spending even more time with the woman who treats them like they're an inconvenience!!!

There has got to be a way to get past this...

 

[theb]

YOur first mistake was going in against your ex "PRO SE".

If you are really serious about this, contact any attorney ASAP and get an appeal filed and see what a real attorney can do for you.

 

[Broken]

I understand that an attorney would have been very beneficial... but I do not have the money for one. I live paycheck to paycheck, and the little bit of money I had left over this month went to some clothes for my daughters and food. Are there any attorneys that will take payments (maybe like $50 a month)??? Or maybe a public defender? I've never even been to court for a speeding ticket, so I have no idea what works and what doesn't in the legal system.

 

[tammy8]

My DH cashed out a little cd, put the rest on a credit card and then the attorney was willing to set up payments. You have to do what you have to do (oh and I forgot my parents gave us some money off their life insurance) to protect you and your children and your lifes. Basically you will pay now or you will pay later....but later usually means for a LONG TIME.

Good luck to you as my DH once brought home less than $100 a week while giving his ex almost $200 a week for child support, and he had the kiddos 2/3 the yr. I know what it is like to live off of mac and cheese and ramon noodles for weeks on end.