jyoung update??? and an update on me

[Ambr]

has anyone heard from jyoung lately? i hadn't seen him on and was wondering how his last hearing went.

update on me...

we are going to court on the 30th for the relocation hearing. the kids have been appointed a GAL (another lawyer bill for me, he never pays his half), but haven't been able to meet with him. his schedule is worse than mine. he is only in the area 1 day a week.

my fiance and i had planned our wedding to be this september, although it looks like things will get moved up. although we have been together for almost two years and engaged for almost one. we recently (last august) moved in together. we all know the feelings on that one. marry him now or move him out. looks as if my dreaming wedding is going to be the 5 minute nap version.

thanks to everybody who has helped to keep me sane in the past few months and for all the legal help to. some of those case laws came in very handy.

wish us luck!

ambr

 

[SockGirl]

I'm very interested in the outcome of your case Ambr - please post your updates as they come. How are your children handling all of this and what are their ages? do they want to go or are they torn? I'm considering embarking on the same journey and would like to know what I am getting into so I can be prepared and be in the best possible position in case court is required to make a new life for my family. I am also in MO.

 

[Grandma B]

I was thinking yesterday that you hadn't been around. Neither has lindsayilene. Know anything about her?

jyoung did post re his latest court appearance a few days ago.

Good luck on the 30th.

 

[Ambr]

GrandmaB - i had read that post and he had basically won one and lost one, didn't know if he had any other updates.
i have been bouncing back and forth for the time being. visits with my lawyer, the GAL and weekend visits for the kids. i will really be glad when this is all over. haven't heard anything from lindsayilene. there are a couple other missing that usually posts.

Sockgirl - the kids are 8 and 5. the kids had it a little hard because my ex and his family (especially grandma) didn't make it easy on them. they would tell them stories that mommy was taking them away and they would never see them again and junk like that. i kept the conversations open and we talked about it almost every night. the kids knew they could ask me anything they wanted and i would be honest with them. (and still saved their daddy's butt - he makes it hard to be fair to him sometimes.)

when they asked about the visitation, i got them a calander and we marked it. my ex still has the same amount of time with them. (most of which, he doesn't even use because he is working 2 jobs) plus i let the kids pick some additional time to visit. they call him whenever they want (thanks to the internet and free long distance).

the kids have been kept up on every step. they are pretty smart for their ages (sometimes i really wonder what we have done to them). they wanted to know who got to decide where they live. i told them the judge. they wanted to know why he got to pick because he didn't know about us. which started the "mommy and daddy can't agree" speech, about how we both love them and don't want to let them go. and that the judge will help us figure it all out.

if you are considering, start a detailed log now of every time that you attempt to talk to the ex about it. what his reactions are and every statement that he basically makes about it. the notice (it has to be written)in missouri has to be at least 60 days prior to the move and he has 30 to contest it. don't wait til the last minute. if you can give him 90 days or better - do it. that way if he contests it, you can get everything cleared up WAY before you need to move. if you can work it out, get it all in writing. new visitation schedules, everything and get it sent off to the judge for his signature (it is useless without it). be sure to include the costs of the transportation to the visitation - those things add up quick. you can do the notice yourself (i have a copy of what info is required if you want me to email it to you), just send it certified to the ex and the court house (for your file). then set back and wait.

you know, the really hard part about this - in Missouri the only guidelines are on out of state relocations. my decree allowed for moving (but not out of state), stating that the only thing that would change would be the transportation. he would start them, i would end them. i could have moved across the state (same distance) and there wouldn't have been as much that he could have done about it. (he could still contest, but....)

anyways, enough of this rambling. i'll keep you update and feel free to email me if you want to. be glad to pass along the info my lawyer gives me - i'm paying enough for it to get the copyrights - haha

good luck!
ambr


ambr_dawn@yahoo.com

 

[jyoung]

thanks for asking ambr, I'm still alive and kicking, though
I did get bummed that 5 months of work was tossed out by the judge for no specific reason. Found out my ex's latest attorney is a bigwig...chair of a Florida commission on Family Law or something, he had asked for a continuation of next weeks hearing on contempt of visitation and the financial issues as he was scheduled to testify in front of the legislature, either the commissioner turned down his request or he's not going to tallahassee now because the hearing is still on for Wednesday. I'm not going to appeal
the judge's ruling as I don't want to waste the $250.00 fee
needed to file and I have other ways up my sleeve to accomplish my goal on the relocate....like legal beagle and IAAL say, the fact that money is being freely spent by my
ex is her problem, as long as she continues to act as if I
don't have rights, the deeper a hole she digs for herself.
At this point I don't need luck, just endurance....

 

[lindsayilene]

Grandma B

It is nice to know that you have missed me! I've been really busy at work. Construction season is starting, and my work load is starting to pile up!
I've just been popping in and out lately.

Ambr--I wish you well!
Jyoung--keep up the good fight!

 

[Ambr]

Guess what everybody???? I'm married!!!!!!

The update with the kids and the GAL....

The kids met with him this past weekend. I hope that I am not seeing things into it, but it seemed to go really well.

He talked to them and asked about the new house, school, and how they liked things. The kids did really good with him. He had them step out and then spoke with me. He told me that they seemed really well adjusted and that they appeared to really like living here.

We talked about all the the things that the ex mentioned in his reasons for keeping me there and I shot them all down. He seemed upset that the ex was bringing up pieces that have already been disproved and said he would be taking up the courts time. He was also amazed that the ex and the new wife had a child the same age as mine and that he had remarried within 30 days of getting divorced.

We also discussed the amount of time that the ex spent with the kids. The fact that he is working two jobs and isn't there when the kids are over. He hadn't told him about the second job at all.

That, along with the pics of the house that he is living in. My lawyer is going after his and showing him what we have and that their reasoning is shot down and seeing if he will just settle out of court this weekend. I doubt that he will do that - he has never been that cooperative.

So things went good.

Anyways, just wanted to let you guys know what had happened over the weekend.

Wish us luck!!!

 

[Grandma B]

Congratulations!

Great news, Ambr! My very best wishes to your whole family!

Sounds like you got a responsive GAL. That's a real plus because some are not, and most courts rely pretty heavily on their reports/testimony.

Keep us posted. Sounds like you're all on your way to "happily ever after"!

 

[Ambr]

Thanks GrandmaB - I sure hope that I am.

Spoke with the GAL again this morning. The court date is the same date as the field trip at school for my son. He is begging to go - but it's a possibility that they will want him there for the hearing. He does not need to here some of the issues that are being brought up. (old abuse issues - already disproven - judge is bound to love that one)

He still sounded positive in his attitude about the kids enjoying school and living here. So I am still hoping that things are going my way.

My lawyer spoke with the ex's lawyer yesterday. They talked about the 4 points that he had for the relocation hearing. We told him about the evidence to disprove the points. His lawyer told us that they had a weak case and that he was trying to talk my ex into just settling the visitation schedule out of court. Of course - that didn't go over well. So it looks as if I am still headed to court. (He is gonna get a BIG shock when those pics of his house show up in court.)

I hate the last two weeks. I am going to go nuts over the next few days. Of course, that is usually the best diet in the world. I can't hardly eat and I always lose about 10 pounds. So I guess there is a good side to it, if you look hard enough.

Thanks again to everyone that has kept me sane.

 

[jyoung]

court today

congrats on your events ambr; I've been nuts at work and prep for these court appearances. Today's went well, the ex's attorney withdrew their motion to enforce the final agreement re. marital debt because they realized the motion on its face was flawed and they want to resubmit a more comprehensive one...we'll wait and see- what gets me is that if I were to make and withdraw all these motions they would be after my ass for attorneys fees, since I'm pro se
I can't. Maybe I can ask the judge to issue credits to me
for future judgements against me?
On my motion for contempt re. visitation, we started to get into it, the commissioner stopped me mid-stream and proposed that we become her "test case" for a new program just instituted in our county called a Parental Coordinator.
We each pay $50. bucks and this person gets in the middle of the disputes and tries to rectify them and issues regular reports to the court. Her attorney jumped at the idea (since he knew the alternative was a contempt citation)
and I agreed since I'm not the one causing the problems.
My fiancee said my ex did not look happy walking out of the courtroom, it appeared her attorney never even asked her what she thought-- maybe she'll fire him now too. Anyway,
I can't lose if all I want to do is protect my visitation
rights and I bring the problems to this person's attention
as they occur. Have to wait for the commissioner's order
to know more about the program since its so new and we'll
see. She held the contempt motion in abeyance for now.

 

[Ambr]

congrats on your victory - for this round. wouldn't it be great if there weren't anymore???

wouldn't it be great if you could get her to be held liable for the wages that you would have been able to earn. since she can not be liable for your attorney fees - the time you have lost from work and the costs of any filing fees and/or research?

the test study might go in your favor. it would be a really cheap way to get all of the counts of contempt in front of the judge. everything would be documented and wouldn't take so much effort on your part to get it filed.

i spoke with my attorney today and my ex has refused to settle anything out of court. even with his lawyer suggesting that it would be a good idea. he wants to go before the judge.

i found out last night that my ex is trying to put a negligence case against me for our son. my son was laying in bed and started crying. i asked him what was wrong and he said that he was scared daddy would take him away. then told me that daddy took pictures of his hands. he said that i didn't trim his nails down far enough and that they were to long and that daddy was tired of cutting them. daddy said i would get in big trouble and he was gonna show the pictures to the judge.

the nerve of the man. having the conversation with the child in the first place. but i can't wait to see the judges face when he tries to say trimmed nails - just not trimmed to his desires - is neglect and then pulls out photographs.

I have to stop myself and try to remember what it was that I saw in him in the first place. (I mean, something had to be there - right???) sad to say, i can't see anything. maybe my parents were right and i was young, stupid and horny. LOL

 

[LegalBeagle]

The advantage with an out of court middle person is that you have a lot more time to explain the situation and problems. In court, you have to bullet point everything and cut most of the fat away.

I do not understand why she is denying visitation because it seriously weakens her relocation case. I mean, if you are unable to have regular good visitation in the same state, imagine how it will be when the child is 1500 miles away.

 

[jyoung]

thanks ambr, beagle man. Exactly my point in trying to prevent the move in the first place. Unfortunately, I've never been considered as one of the priorities in the childs life on the part of the ex, but she is going to find out one way or the other that she has no choice but to support my good-intentioned attempts. She may not like it
but that's life. I've decided to do nothing as far as further preventing a move-away, she will have to obtain my
or the courts permission and with the reams of material in
the case file she would be foolish to leave without permission. And her attorney has said in open court that there are no current plans to relocate. We'll see.

 

[LadyBlu]

Congrats Everyone!!

Haven't been online much lately folks. So happy to hear things are going well for both Ambr and Jyoung.

Congratulations on the marriage Ambr!!!
May it be a long and happy union.

JYoung, my prayers are with ya. Hoping that this new program does the trick for you. You have the right attitude and most of all, are a stand up kinda guy. A role-model for all divorced men. You do restore my faith in there being good men left in the world.

Well, not sure if I told anyone, my atty sent my ex a letter asking for a voluntary increase in support. Last week he called me, letting me know I was every kinda B**ch imaginable told my son that every time something goes wrong in my life I try to get his support increased. (This is the first time I have asked for any increase in 12yrs since we divorced). So he called me Monday night and said that after speaking with his atty and his newest wife, they had decided to go ahead and agree to the upward modification.

SO life is getting better here at this end.

I have a Dr appt at a Major Hospital in my area tomorrow morning for my evaluation for this new agency to see if they are going to cover my back surgery. My family Dr spoke to the rep and told them that because of the seriousness of the damage that is being done to my back in the process of waiting for approvals for the surgery that if they are going to cover my surgery they need to do so soon. So they got me in within 2 weeks instead of the 3-4 month wait they had predicted.

So, hoping all the good luck continues for everyone.
LadyBlu

 

[Grandma B]

Way to go, jyoung! I too like the unbiased third party idea. Sounds very similar to a G.A.L. Hopefully they'll look solely for the best interest of your daughter, and you'll be standing tall. I'll bet her attorney did jump at the chance. The judge was wise to hold the contempt motion in abeyance--maybe that will serve as a deterrent.

LB2, Your ex agreeing to the increase on the advice of his attorney had me chuckling. I can just hear the advice being passed on. Good luck on getting into surgery after all these months of pain. Glad they got you in soon.