Kansas step parent adoption - CINC

[LeemonGator]

Meanie,

I'm curious as to what makes you think that I didn't try to facilitate a relationship?

I tried for years.

It says a lot about you, even via internet persona, that you can take a situation that you know nothing about, and immediately assume that mom has failed at facilitating a relationship for child with dad. Nevermind that dad didn't call once in 7 years, didn't once show up at the house, didn't bother to get a visitation or custody order, didn't bother to ever say happy birthday or happy holidays. Yeah, nevermind all that. Mom obviously has issues because she didn't put dad on the birth certificate and wants the ever evil step parent adoption that could never be in the kids best interest.

One day you'll wake up and realize you don't know as much about life as you think, and that will be an empty day for you pal.

Its no secret that society works against natural selection.

 

[Just Blue]

Meanie,

I'm curious as to what makes you think that I didn't try to facilitate a relationship?

I tried for years.

It says a lot about you, even via internet persona, that you can take a situation that you know nothing about, and immediately assume that mom has failed at facilitating a relationship for child with dad. Nevermind that dad didn't call once in 7 years, didn't once show up at the house, didn't bother to get a visitation or custody order, didn't bother to ever say happy birthday or happy holidays. Yeah, nevermind all that. Mom obviously has issues because she didn't put dad on the birth certificate and wants the ever evil step parent adoption that could never be in the kids best interest.

One day you'll wake up and realize you don't know as much about life as you think, and that will be an empty day for you pal.

Its no secret that society works against natural selection.

All I know is what you have stated. Perhaps you should review your posting to see how others may see what you "told".

BTW. I am a Custodial Mother who child's father was out of her life for over 3 years. He paid (per court order) Three ...yes!! THREE dollars a week in c.s..

They now have a wonderful relationship. It DOES happen. Really!!

 

[LeemonGator]

Three years is about half of what its my case. These cases go by child years, not adult years.

Bailing on a kid for 3 years is terrible. Guy should be locked up with Bubba for that.

But I suppose my case could end up like your situation. If that happens, then I won't complain.

Just curious, did you ever attempt to terminate? Or what brought him back into the childs life?

 

[Just Blue]

Three years is about half of what its my case. These cases go by child years, not adult years.

Bailing on a kid for 3 years is terrible. Guy should be locked up with Bubba for that.

But I suppose my case could end up like your situation. If that happens, then I won't complain.

Just curious, did you ever attempt to terminate? Or what brought him back into the childs life?

Child was two and a half and saw Dad for the first time (since then)when she was nearly six. She had NO memories of Dad other than those I "gave her"...I would tell her nice and funny stuff she used to do with Dad. I made sure she had pic's of him with her and Big Sister. Not allowing your child to have contact with Dad is just wrong...Unless Dad is a danger to her. There are some people that should not be allowed near their children.

How did Dad come back into the picture? I guess he grew up. And no. I never wanted to terminate. I knew he could be a great Dad...He just had to grow up and deal with his issues.
When lil'blue saw Dad she RAN to him yelling "DADDY!!"...There was no reticence on her part. Dad had tears running down his face.

 

[LeemonGator]

Meanie,

I can't argue with what you did or how it turned out. I don't have any memories to relay to my child other than dad came to the first birthday party.

I figure if this TPR works, it works. I feel like we have a decent chance, even with the child support payments. If it doesn't work, and dad is hell bent on being in his kids life, then he will get his chance.

I plan to come back and post my results here, as there are a lot of posters on the other thread who are vehemently against TPR's and step adoptions...or I should say they think the only good reason for doing one is when dad is a danger to the kid.

My childs father basically ignored and abandonement our child emotionally, from birth to age 7, and now he plans to stand on legal ground in court. We shall see how firm that footing is....

 

[CSO286]

Meanie,

I can't argue with what you did or how it turned out. I don't have any memories to relay to my child other than dad came to the first birthday party.

I figure if this TPR works, it works. I feel like we have a decent chance, even with the child support payments. If it doesn't work, and dad is hell bent on being in his kids life, then he will get his chance.

I plan to come back and post my results here, as there are a lot of posters on the other thread who are vehemently against TPR's and step adoptions...or I should say they think the only good reason for doing one is when dad is a danger to the kid.

My childs father basically ignored and abandonement our child emotionally, from birth to age 7, and now he plans to stand on legal ground in court. We shall see how firm that footing is....

You might be in for a surprise.


Small Fry's dad has never met her. (yep, I said never. By his choice.) He signed to ROP, is on the BC. When I would call or write every so often to update my contact info, he'd throw out random threats/promises about the courts making me send her down on a plane--MN to TX--to him.)
Fast forward 10 years. I need to get Small a passport. Unfortunately, becasue I don't have any paperowrk expressly indicating the fact that I have Sole Legal custody, I need Dad's permission to do so. Dad refused to sign on the basis of his own inablility to secure one (due to failure to pay child support.)
I take court action, file for sole legal, include a proposed long distance parenting plan and requiring dad to sign for aforementioned passport in the event I do not win sole legal.

Guess what?

Dad now calls Small every week. He doesn't yet know the outcome of the court action--I won eveything I asked for, but still haven't received a copy of the order (arrgh!)--but he decided to step up.

OP, be prepared for the possibility that Dad is going to man up as you attempt to terminate his rights.

 

[LeemonGator]

You might be in for a surprise.


Small Fry's dad has never met her. (yep, I said never. By his choice.) He signed to ROP, is on the BC. When I would call or write every so often to update my contact info, he'd throw out random threats/promises about the courts making me send her down on a plane--MN to TX--to him.)
Fast forward 10 years. I need to get Small a passport. Unfortunately, becasue I don't have any paperowrk expressly indicating the fact that I have Sole Legal custody, I need Dad's permission to do so. Dad refused to sign on the basis of his own inablility to secure one (due to failure to pay child support.)
I take court action, file for sole legal, include a proposed long distance parenting plan and requiring dad to sign for aforementioned passport in the event I do not win sole legal.

Guess what?

Dad now calls Small every week. He doesn't yet know the outcome of the court action--I won eveything I asked for, but still haven't received a copy of the order (arrgh!)--but he decided to step up.

OP, be prepared for the possibility that Dad is going to man up as you attempt to terminate his rights.

Yep, I was already told from paternal grandfather that if I went through with this attempt, "they" would be filing for joint physical and legal custody. I asked him if he meant supervised visitation and he said "No, joint physical custody".

 

[mistoffolees]

Yep, I was already told from paternal grandfather that if I went through with this attempt, "they" would be filing for joint physical and legal custody. I asked him if he meant supervised visitation and he said "No, joint physical custody".

The grandparents are extremely unlikely to get custody in this scenario.

Do not take advice (or listen to threats) from your ex, his attorney, or his family.

 

[milspecgirl]

and DO NOT agree to any visitation for his parents unless a court orders it

 

[mistoffolees]

and DO NOT agree to any visitation for his parents unless a court orders it

Just to clarify. That means you shouldn't allow Dad's parents to see the child on YOUR time. The child's father can do what he wants with his time.

 

[LeemonGator]

Just to clarify. That means you shouldn't allow Dad's parents to see the child on YOUR time. The child's father can do what he wants with his time.

Dad has never had any set time from the courts. He's never asked to see his child.

Disturbed by the prelim today. The judge basically had us state our name, and then she said that petitioners need to start over and we will reschedule and she will explain why afterwards. We rescheduled, and then the GAL, myself and my attorney went forward and the judge said she doesn't like to end child support and leave only one parent financially responsible. She asked if I had someone willing to adopt and I said yes. She said to come back in a month and add step parent to petition. In essence, she isn't letting us sever the rights for a child in need of care, and now asking us to file for step parent adoption as if we can bypass the consent.

This is to be expected, but its unfortunate because under child in need of care, my side of argument has tons of case history to support termination. Under step parent adoption against consent, now fathers side has case history supporting it. (Re adoption G.L.V. and M.J.V., Kansas) Of course juvenile case history is closed except at the appeals level so maybe district courts are different.

Anyways, afterwards we spoke with GAL for 30 minutes about it. GAL asked when last time father had seen child, I said 6 years, then she asked when was last time he asked to see the child and I said never.

She told me father had already lied to her about last the last time he had seen child, and that he thought the child was 6 years old, and didn't have a photo on him. She went on to say she knew the judge well and someone in my exact same position "almost" was granted the adoption under that judge, and that she said to call the lawyer that won that case...and gave his name.

If only it were that easy.

Its too bad the GAL is not the judge. Not an attorney, but I would presume case history probably plays a pretty strong factor. Scales already tipped in favor of father I believe, as predicted by most of you on this thread. Understood its a precious constitutional right, I think I got my hopes up from the attorney who was trying to sever under KSA 38-1581, child in need of care. Under this new strategy, I am not confident at all even with the GAL's recommendation.

Edit: Legal commentary appreciated. IMO, what little chance I have now will come down to the health insurance. The judge would have to see his failure to secure health insurance as required by the court has failing the financial side of being a parent.

 

[milspecgirl]

If you are pinning your hopes on failure to provide health insurance, you are in trouble. In my case, bio mom was 33k+ in arrears, had never financially supported, had 4 cases of FOUNDED child abuse, had 2 other kids removed due to abuse and the judge STILL gave her time after time to try to get her crap together before finally giving up and terminating.

 

[LeemonGator]

I am more following my attorneys advice than pinning hopes on anything. Even if we won at the district level, I'd very much be in fear of the appellate review though.

In 2007, Kansas amended this statute to read that a court MAY use a childs best interest as a factor. Very confident that we have that, and the GAL will concur.

However, it would definitely appear that child support presents a huge problem in cases like mine. Pretty much the sentiment of anyone who has responded on this thread. Still, I have to find out for myself.