Keeping me from being a father...

[crayiii]

She called me a little bit ago to let me know that she will not be signing a waiver. I asked if she would be willing to go to a mediator to help with visitation and was told that she had no reason to since she is in complete control now.

I asked her to please let me talk to my son and when she refused I asked her to be a mom and ask him if he wanted to talk to me. She hung up.

5 minutes later the phone rang and it was my son. He told me he loves me and misses me and even though mom says Jim is his new dad that he wants me to be his dad. He went on to say that his mom keeps passing out and that there is a machine on the phone. Then the phone was hung up.

 

[crayiii]

We seemed to have found them again. They are in Washington State now. I have his cell phone number (verified) and a physical address. We are going to try to serve papers tomorrow.

At this point, is there anything I can do to see my son? Will the police go with me? I'm not going to do anything until the papers are served so they won't run again.

 

[crayiii]

WOW!!!

I just got a call from the guy the caller ID came up as the cell phone that I thought was his. He was screaming at the top of his lungs calling me a mother f-er and that he was going to kill me if I went to his house and he should drive here and kick my a##.

I told him that he seems very upset that I knew his name now. He told me that I would never see my son again and that if I ever called him again he would kill me.

I called my wife's cell phone and left a message that I was a little worried about my son and I would really like to see him

She called me back and was very upset that I knew where she was. I told her that I always want to know where my son is living because I worry when I don't know where he is.

I then asked her if I could take him to lunch on Saturday. She kept saying that I couldn't but said okay when I said all I wanted was 1 hour and they could be there.

She called me back about 2 minutes latter and said she changed her mind and that I was to never call her number again.

 

[BethM]

Call the attorney general's office for the state of Washington. Tell them that you are dealing with a civil matter, that the court in your state is involved. Tell them this man and your wife are keeping your son from you and ask them what their state laws are regarding such situations and can they be of any help to you.

If someone other than your wife has control over your child and is threatening your life if you attempt to see your child, I do not know how this can be legal and someone would not step in and become involved in the situation.

I wish you luck and safety cause this guy sounds like a control freak and it sounds as if your wife has gotten into a very bad situation.

 

[crayiii]

I talked to my Sheriff's office and the deputy told me that there wasn't anything they could do.

He then went on to tell me that if he were I, he would go up there and when they left the house, snatch my son.

That didn't sound like a good plan to me....

 

[BethM]

Does your sheriff know the laws of Washington State? I'm thinking someone at the Attorney General's Office could tell you a heck of a lot more about what can and can't be done in Washington State than someone from the sheriff's office in another state.

It's a good possibility that there are no laws in Washington State to protect your son. You won't know until you inquire though and I think if I were in your shoes I would be talking to someone who knows the laws of that state inside and out instead of listening to someone from the local sheriff's office. Especially someone from that office who told you to go and kidnap your child.

 

[Whyte Noise]

The sheriff was actually correct.

In all 50 states, married couples have the same equal rights to custody. Just as the mother taking the child and leaving wasn't against the law, neither would it be if the father did the same. There are no court orders giving one or the other custody. Neither of them would be "kidnapping" the child as no one of them legally has physical custody at this time.

Yes, the OP is still married.

We aren't divorced, I am trying to find her to serve papers.

Now, going and taking your child may or may not be the best thing to do in any given situation. It's a personal choice and only the one involved knows if it would be feasable. However, since they are still legally married, it's certainly not illegal to do.

 

[BL]

Well , I've heard enough . I'd go get the child . It's not snatching. Then I'd Immediately go get an Emergency Temp. Custody Order on the grounds that she has been moving around hiding the child on you , and threats that you will never see the child again .


Take a Couple of Big Framed Friends with you . OR ,

Have your attorney File for An Emergency Custody Order for you , then with Order in Hand , go get your child .

 

[crayiii]

Honestly, it is nice to think about "going and getting" my son so I could see him and know he was okay. But, it would scare the heck out of him and I'm not willing to do that.

I will talk to my attorney today about my son being in a hostile environment and whether or not it would be a good idea to try for an emergency order.

 

[BethM]

You mean you haven't tried for an emergency custody order yet? I would have thought that would be the first thing you would do and would already be in the works. His mother sounds unstable, the man she is with sounds dangerous and I can't imagine the environment is all that pleasant based on phone conversations you have had with these people.

 

[crayiii]

My attorney wants me to record the calls so we have more evidence. I believe they are at the boyfriends parents house a lot. When I called that number yesterday I heard my son in the background and I heard my wife say "tell him we aren't here".

The boyfriend called me back and told me to never call that number again. Will I get in trouble if I call and ask to speak to my son at that number?

 

[djohnson]

Stop being a wuss, I am tired of reading this post. This is your son and you have just as much right to him at this point as she does. You say you don't want to scare him or hurt him by going and getting him, what do you think he is feeling now living with them? Stop being a victim. Fight for your son. File an emergency order NOW! If they don't give him back they will be in contempt. If you wait they could up and go somewhere else and you won't be able to find them. Do i while you know where they are at. It won't be find them to give them notice, it will go there with the order and take your child legally.

 

[crayiii]

The burden of proof is pretty high when private citizen brings that kind of order forward. I have talked to the local Sheriff's department, CPS in the State were they are, and the AG's office. None of them feel there is anything they can or should do. They have all said to let the civil courts take care of it.

I did have an interesting call with the CPS though. The case worker told me they won't do anything unless the child has been hurt. She said they react, not act.

 

[BL]

The burden of proof is pretty high when private citizen brings that kind of order forward. I have talked to the local Sheriff's department, CPS in the State were they are, and the AG's office. None of them feel there is anything they can or should do. They have all said to let the civil courts take care of it.

I did have an interesting call with the CPS though. The case worker told me they won't do anything unless the child has been hurt. She said they react, not act.

You aren't a Private citizen . You are the Child's Father .
You aren't even willing to go down to file for Emergency Custody ?
If not apparently you do not care about your child as much as you say you do .
As someone stated Quit being a wimp .

I'll tell you want I did when my now X , with her boyfriend , one of the many ones that she wanted me to give up my rights to ,and them to adopt my children.

I pointed my finger at his face and I told him to his face " keep the H*** out of our business, these our our kids , so shut the H*** up . He did .

I then told her if you think I'm giving up my children lady , you got a screw lose .

It's ironic she wanted me to rescue her from these users and abusers .

Get some gumption and be a Man . Do what you have to do . Ya want your kids to hold it against you because you let them live that crap ?

 

[ktee233]

Amen!!

I've read your posts last week but had to leave town for the weekend. I was anxious to get back to read what's happened. If your wife and son are in Spokane, (509 area code), I live 3 hours away and would go and investigate their whereabouts so you could go get him. YOU ARE HIS DAD!! She is telling him he has a new daddy. Everyone is p@ssyfooting around and no one with authority is willing to help you as there is no order in place. Go get that order, have the police with you so your son isn't traumatized when she throws her little fit and then the legal battle will begin. You don't sound like you would poison him like she is. Put yourself in his shoes. Do you think he feels secure with all that hate around him?