Left Fiance, Not Child, overcoming alienation and abandonment.

[rentalblind]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

PA, long story short, I messed up. Got tired of having child held over my head. Was threatned for years that he would take my child because he didn't want to lose another one. I finally kicked him out and he went to live with his mom and took my child. I missed her but she was in a Better school district.

We wanted to try again so I stupidly agreed to move in with them at my in-laws and rented out my house. The house was full when I left so I came to live with someone else.

I don't want to attack ex, he means well, but my daughter began cutting, he is trying to downplay it and has her see a therapist at school once a week. she blames us for her cutting but I know she blames me for leaving.

Leaving was difficult and I've been depressed for some time, I am going to get help. I don't want to take her out of her environment. I just want a set structure so I can see her and get reconnected. I was the primary care giver for years, did nearly everything but now he has his parents pretty much raising her and influencing her. I no longer have a safe stable home and she would not want to live with me now since she thinks I am the one who caused all the problems.

I messed up by not taking a stand, I realize that. Am i eternally screwed because I didn't want to be with a porn addicted man who wanted me to have sex with couples every week.

I am still angry over this and more obviously but I want to obtain legal visitation or partial custody without having to expose him and vice versa for our every deed. Great parents, horrible partners.

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

PA, long story short, I messed up. Got tired of having child held over my head. Was threatned for years that he would take my child because he didn't want to lose another one. I finally kicked him out and he went to live with his mom and took my child. I missed her but she was in a Better school district.

We wanted to try again so I stupidly agreed to move in with them at my in-laws and rented out my house. The house was full when I left so I came to live with someone else.

I don't want to attack ex, he means well, but my daughter began cutting, he is trying to downplay it and has her see a therapist at school once a week. she blames us for her cutting but I know she blames me for leaving.

Leaving was difficult and I've been depressed for some time, I am going to get help. I don't want to take her out of her environment. I just want a set structure so I can see her and get reconnected. I was the primary care giver for years, did nearly everything but now he has his parents pretty much raising her and influencing her. I no longer have a safe stable home and she would not want to live with me now since she thinks I am the one who caused all the problems.

I messed up by not taking a stand, I realize that. Am i eternally screwed because I didn't want to be with a porn addicted man who wanted me to have sex with couples every week.

I am still angry over this and more obviously but I want to obtain legal visitation or partial custody without having to expose him and vice versa for our every deed. Great parents, horrible partners.

Start here!

http://www.palawhelp.org/issues/children-and-families/self-help-pro-se-forms-and-information

 

[stealth2]

At least she is seeing someone. However, can you talk to Dad about outside counseling for her and either you both or just you? If she blames you both, counseling including all three of you may be a good idea. Time wil bring out if one or the other of you is more of an issue.

How old is she now? How old when you left him? How long has the cutting been going on?