Legal custody

[DsmithAsmith]

What is the name of your state? CA

My husband said he wants to file for sole legal custody of SD. He has sole physical and we have not had any contact with BM for over a year now.

2 things about this worry me. He really has no good reason other than he does not have a way of checking with BM on issues. BM has no phone and moved with out notifying us of her new address. He does not want to have to contact her when we try to get a passport etc. just for the record she has abandoned the child on her own. My DH did not try and ailienate her.

My second concern is if we go back to court she might ask for different visitation. For 3 years she has had an order for supervised visits, but has never shown up. If my DH ONLY requests on an order to show cause for that the judge evaluate legal custody, when BM files her response can she request a review of visitation with out filing a seperate motion? I am fearful that a judge might feel since SD is older now she can go with BM, a man who molested SD lives there so DH will NEVER let her visit there.

What kind of reasons would a judge grant a change in legal custody? I don't know what my DH expects to say in court. Is lack of contact/intrest enough?

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? CA

My husband said he wants to file for sole legal custody of SD. He has sole physical and we have not had any contact with BM for over a year now.

2 things about this worry me. He really has no good reason other than he does not have a way of checking with BM on issues. BM has no phone and moved with out notifying us of her new address. He does not want to have to contact her when we try to get a passport etc. just for the record she has abandoned the child on her own. My DH did not try and ailienate her.

My second concern is if we go back to court she might ask for different visitation. For 3 years she has had an order for supervised visits, but has never shown up. If my DH ONLY requests on an order to show cause for that the judge evaluate legal custody, when BM files her response can she request a review of visitation with out filing a seperate motion? I am fearful that a judge might feel since SD is older now she can go with BM, a man who molested SD lives there so DH will NEVER let her visit there.

What kind of reasons would a judge grant a change in legal custody? I don't know what my DH expects to say in court. Is lack of contact/intrest enough?

In a situation like this, taking the case to court always raises the risk that the awol parent will come back into the picture. Is mom 100% awol? (no contact, child support or anything at all?) Have you considered the option of trying to terminate mom's rights so that you can adopt the child?

 

[NotSoNew]

yes you might be able to terminate the mother rights based on abandonment if she has had NO contact for 1 year, and you could adopt the child

"Abandonment is when a mother leaves her child with anyone who is not the father for 6 months or more, or when she leaves the child with the father for 1 year or more, with little or no communication with the child. "

from here

http://www.alameda.courts.ca.gov/selfhelp/Adoptions/birthparents.html#mother

 

[DsmithAsmith]

Adoption

Right now adoption is not in the best intrest of the child. She already thinks we are keeping her mom from her. When in reality her mom refuses to come to her supervised visits. I don't think adoption is the right course for us.

So I guess if we file a motion to change legal custody in her response she could request a change in visitation. I am not sure she will. DH recieved sole physical and BM had EOWend visits, DH went back to court to request supervised visits, BM agreed to no change in physical custody but wanted visitation to remain the same. I don't know though if she would make a huge scene in court, thats why I am leery about my DH taking it back. IT would be a bummer to have visitation changed.

She has not paid one penny for the child in 3 years she is over 10,000 in arrears on her child support. SD did have phone contact with her once this year in Jan. 2005. BM showed up at a party where SD and I were at demanding (in violation of the CO) that I let her see SD. I did not, and called the police instead. Her visits are suposed to be supervised at an agency. Does this incident count as 'contact' with the child?