Long distance parenting plan guidelines

[Momto1]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NC & VA

Could someone point me in the direction for a long distance parenting plan for a two year old ( or guidlines maybe). Custody orders are in NC, mom has physical custody, mom & dad have joint, mom has moved from in NC to VA for employment. Parents tried working out agreement through mediation,however it was unsuccessful. Mom has tried googling long distance parenitng plans as have I and have not come up with anything resourceful.

Thanks you in advance.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NC & VA

Could someone point me in the direction for a long distance parenting plan for a two year old ( or guidlines maybe). Custody orders are in NC, mom has physical custody, mom & dad have joint, mom has moved from in NC to VA for employment. Parents tried working out agreement through mediation,however it was unsuccessful. Mom has tried googling long distance parenitng plans as have I and have not come up with anything resourceful.

Thanks you in advance.

That's a tough age for a good long distance plan. The child is too young to be separated from his/her primary caregiver for weeks at a time, but needs as much time as possible with the other parent too.

Alot depends on finances as well. What is the actual distance between homes?

 

[Momto1]

That's a tough age for a good long distance plan. The child is too young to be separated from his/her primary caregiver for weeks at a time, but needs as much time as possible with the other parent too.

Alot depends on finances as well. What is the actual distance between homes?

I said the same about the distance. Mom proposed two weeks on and two weeks off, and I told her that was horrible and only looking at what the parents wanted and not the best for the child, and dad was not in agreement with that either. So mediation didn't work.

4 and a half hrs, I don't know exact mileage and neither does mom. But it's a 4 to 5 hr drive depending on traffic.

 

[LdiJ]

I said the same about the distance. Mom proposed two weeks on and two weeks off, and I told her that was horrible and only looking at what the parents wanted and not the best for the child, and dad was not in agreement with that either. So mediation didn't work.

4 and a half hrs, I don't know exact mileage and neither does mom. But it's a 4 to 5 hr drive depending on traffic.

That is still within the realm of possibility for every other weekend if they met half way.

Its also close enough that one week a month would be workable.

Mom is obviously open to dad having lots of time...but what does dad want?

 

[Momto1]

That is still within the realm of possibility for every other weekend if they met half way.

Its also close enough that one week a month would be workable.

Mom is obviously open to dad having lots of time...but what does dad want?

Dad is not willing to meet halfway and wants mom to do all transportation, which she is willing to do, but not financially capable of EOW. (She does know trans. is her issue as she has created the distance)

Dad wants custody if mom moves..... I told mom to propose extended holidays as child is not in school yet and skyping (sp) weekly as well. Since mediation was tried and unsucessful dad jsut say let's take it to court and she wants to go into court with a LD plan.

 

[mistoffolees]

Dad is not willing to meet halfway and wants mom to do all transportation, which she is willing to do, but not financially capable of EOW. (She does know trans. is her issue as she has created the distance)

Dad wants custody if mom moves..... I told mom to propose extended holidays as child is not in school yet and skyping (sp) weekly as well. Since mediation was tried and unsucessful dad jsut say let's take it to court and she wants to go into court with a LD plan.

Since Mom has created the distance, she is going to need to be very flexible. Dad has a good case for filing for custody. I certainly would if I were in his shoes.

Why in the world would she move 4.5 hours away and take a job that STILL doesn't give her enough income to drive every couple of weeks? Taking a child that age away from either parent is not a good thing and should not be done lightly.

 

[Momto1]

Since Mom has created the distance, she is going to need to be very flexible. Dad has a good case for filing for custody. I certainly would if I were in his shoes.

Why in the world would she move 4.5 hours away and take a job that STILL doesn't give her enough income to drive every couple of weeks? Taking a child that age away from either parent is not a good thing and should not be done lightly.

Dad just recently came into the child's life within the last 6 months. Mom was offered this job over a year ago and has been training for it and finishing school. She is willing to work with dad as she does want the child's father to still be involved.

 

[LdiJ]

Since Mom has created the distance, she is going to need to be very flexible. Dad has a good case for filing for custody. I certainly would if I were in his shoes.

Why in the world would she move 4.5 hours away and take a job that STILL doesn't give her enough income to drive every couple of weeks? Taking a child that age away from either parent is not a good thing and should not be done lightly.

While I agree completely, in all fairness, in today's job market some people honestly have little choice but to move. They need to take whatever job they can get.

 

[Ohiogal]

Who are you in all this?

 

[mistoffolees]

Dad just recently came into the child's life within the last 6 months. Mom was offered this job over a year ago and has been training for it and finishing school. She is willing to work with dad as she does want the child's father to still be involved.

Those are mitigating factors, but the fact is that Dad has a right to be in the child's life and has been a part of the child's life and Mom is now going to sever that relationship. That should not happen with impunity.

While I agree completely, in all fairness, in today's job market some people honestly have little choice but to move. They need to take whatever job they can get.

That's true at some levels, but OP is saying that even with the new job they can't afford to drive, which suggests that it's an entry level position - and, given time and effort, these are available in most areas. I suspect that there's a lot more involved.

Who are you in all this?

Anyone want to take bets? I'll bet this is the new BF and Mom is moving to be close to him because her relationship with him is SOOOOOOOO much more important than the child's relationship with Dad.

 

[Momto1]

Who are you in all this?

She is a friend of mine. We went to HS together and kept in touch, she was talking to me about it last night adn I figured I would ask.

 

[Momto1]

Those are mitigating factors, but the fact is that Dad has a right to be in the child's life and has been a part of the child's life and Mom is now going to sever that relationship. That should not happen with impunity.



That's true at some levels, but OP is saying that even with the new job they can't afford to drive, which suggests that it's an entry level position - and, given time and effort, these are available in most areas. I suspect that there's a lot more involved.



Anyone want to take bets? I'll bet this is the new BF and Mom is moving to be close to him because her relationship with him is SOOOOOOOO much more important than the child's relationship with Dad.

I wasn't saying dad didn't have the right to file or deserve to, I would if I were in his shoes. I'm just here asking question. As for this being entry level it isn't, however the job does pay much more than the previous postion which was entry level, and when she told dad about this about 4 months ago he was fine with the move, however he has since changed his mind, which is entitled to do. These are the circumstances at hand and where she is going from here.
And no I am not the BF, thank you for the but she doesn't have the correct parts for me

 

[mistoffolees]

I wasn't saying dad didn't have the right to file or deserve to, I would if I were in his shoes. I'm just here asking question. As for this being entry level it isn't, however the job does pay much more than the previous postion which was entry level,

So she wants to move 4.5 hours further away from Dad for a job that doesn't pay any more than her previous job?

Just how is that in the child's best interests?

 

[gr8rn]

Honestly, Mom should offer the every other weekend with her doing all the driving. It's just not good for her to be stubborn about this. She could very well end up being the NCP and STILL have to pay all the costs of HER visitations.

 

[Momto1]

I wasn't saying dad didn't have the right to file or deserve to, I would if I were in his shoes. I'm just here asking question. As for this being entry level it isn't, however the job does pay much more than the previous postion which was entry level, and when she told dad about this about 4 months ago he was fine with the move, however he has since changed his mind, which is entitled to do. These are the circumstances at hand and where she is going from here.
And no I am not the BF, thank you for the but she doesn't have the correct parts for me

Let's just say she wasn't making a whole heck of alot before. When this job was offered a year ago, mom started the training and finished her school requirements.