Make a Wish

[special mom]

What is the name of your state? Maryland

I have a 6 year old daughter who has special needs and was recommended to the Make a Wish foundation by her doctor. They accepted her and she is now waiting for her wish. The only problem is that the foundation requires written legal custody papers in order to fulfill her wish. The father has a support order in place but does not pay. The State is prosecuting him for criminal contempt of court and nonsupport in June. We were never married and he never contested paternity. My daughter had two brain surgeries in February and March and when I asked him for basic information regarding his employer he refused to give me any stating that he is not the legal custodian so he didn’t have to give any information. My daughter was in ICU for 14 days and he visited once. That being said, I seriously doubt he’ll contest any custody or visitation papers I ask him to sign as long it says he’s not responsible to care for her. Do I have to do this through a lawyer or can I file something with the courts on my own. If I file papers that both parents sign, does that make it legal? I’d like this to be as simple as possible because we have to take her back for another brain surgery next week and I have plenty of other things on my plate right now. The quicker we get this taken care of the quicker she gets her wish fulfilled and I think that would give her tremendous joy and a much needed break from the hospital and doctors. Any help would be appreciated.

Special MomWhat is the name of your state?

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

What is the name of your state? Maryland

I have a 6 year old daughter who has special needs and was recommended to the Make a Wish foundation by her doctor. They accepted her and she is now waiting for her wish. The only problem is that the foundation requires written legal custody papers in order to fulfill her wish. The father has a support order in place but does not pay. The State is prosecuting him for criminal contempt of court and nonsupport in June. We were never married and he never contested paternity. My daughter had two brain surgeries in February and March and when I asked him for basic information regarding his employer he refused to give me any stating that he is not the legal custodian so he didn’t have to give any information. My daughter was in ICU for 14 days and he visited once. That being said, I seriously doubt he’ll contest any custody or visitation papers I ask him to sign as long it says he’s not responsible to care for her. Do I have to do this through a lawyer or can I file something with the courts on my own. If I file papers that both parents sign, does that make it legal? I’d like this to be as simple as possible because we have to take her back for another brain surgery next week and I have plenty of other things on my plate right now. The quicker we get this taken care of the quicker she gets her wish fulfilled and I think that would give her tremendous joy and a much needed break from the hospital and doctors. Any help would be appreciated.

Special MomWhat is the name of your state?

Excuse me for being blunt, but I just don't get this. If you were never married , and there are no custody orders,then you have custody of your child.

 

[special mom]

Re:

my thoughts exactly but they asked for legal documentation...I make all the medical, educational and legal decisions for her but according to Make a Wish, I need legal custody papers. I just need to know how to get those.

 

[LdiJ]

Excuse me for being blunt, but I just don't get this. If you were never married , and there are no custody orders,then you have custody of your child.

That isn't automatically the case is all states. In some states if paternity has been legally established via a AOP the parents have equal legal rights...... and its possible that the make a wish foundation has rules that are different than what we would all consider to be normal legally. Charitable foundations have the right to make their own rules.

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

That isn't automatically the case is all states. In some states if paternity has been legally established via a AOP the parents have equal legal rights...... and its possible that the make a wish foundation has rules that are different than what we would all consider to be normal legally. Charitable foundations have the right to make their own rules.

You should be directing your question/responce to the OP and asking her if paternernity has been established.

Kind of like what I just asked.

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

Apparently he never contested, so go forth ldij,(Whatever), and take a shot at this complicated mess.

 

[LdiJ]

Apparently he never contested, so go forth ldij,(Whatever), and take a shot at this complicated mess.

Again, I will repeat that the make a wish foundation has the right to set their own rules....and that those rules may have absolutely nothing to do with what any of us see as legal reality.

I don't have an answer for this mother....other than a true prayer for her child. I don't know the rules/proceedures for the make a wish foundation so I am not about to comment either way on that.....which is why you shouldn't have commented either....which was my whole point.

 

[CJane]

Are you ABSOLUTELY SURE that your order for CS doesn't state that you're the custodial parent? I have an administrative order for CS and it says "Mother is the custodial parent of the child."

That may be all you need.

 

[haiku]

Again, I will repeat that the make a wish foundation has the right to set their own rules....and that those rules may have absolutely nothing to do with what any of us see as legal reality.

I don't have an answer for this mother....other than a true prayer for her child. I don't know the rules/proceedures for the make a wish foundation so I am not about to comment either way on that.....which is why you shouldn't have commented either....which was my whole point.

I agree, it reminds me of some travel agencies rules for international travel along with passport laws for kids under 14...If both parents are listed on the birth certificate, the traveling with child parent, if they do not have notorized permission from the non traveling parent, must produce papers that grant official sole custody, or the death certificate of the other parent, or they do not travel with that company.

 

[special mom]

re

I checked into the child support order and they told me that in Maryland they don't list who the custodial parent is. He signed paternity papers when we went for child support, so yes, paternity is established. The people from Make a Wish also mentioned the whole traveling out of country and getting a passport issue. Although she didn't make a travel wish, it would be good to have something saying I'm the custodial parent. So again to my original question, can we just agree and file something to that effect, or do we have to go to court? I spoke with an attorney in our area and even uncontested custody they want a 5,000.00 retainer "in case" it gets ugly. I was just hoping there was something less stressfull, easier, less expensive and quicker than that. I would hate to have her wish delayed for as long as it takes to get a hearing in our county...

 

[acmb05]

I checked into the child support order and they told me that in Maryland they don't list who the custodial parent is. He signed paternity papers when we went for child support, so yes, paternity is established. The people from Make a Wish also mentioned the whole traveling out of country and getting a passport issue. Although she didn't make a travel wish, it would be good to have something saying I'm the custodial parent. So again to my original question, can we just agree and file something to that effect, or do we have to go to court? I spoke with an attorney in our area and even uncontested custody they want a 5,000.00 retainer "in case" it gets ugly. I was just hoping there was something less stressfull, easier, less expensive and quicker than that. I would hate to have her wish delayed for as long as it takes to get a hearing in our county...

Even though you are the custodial parent, the Make a Wish foundation does need something from the courts showing that you and you alone can make these decisions for the child. They are very specific about not doing anything that could cause a riff in the process.

If something were to happen on this trip and the other parent had any legal say so in the matter but was not informed then Make a Wish could be held responsible by the other parent which is why they need that paper. They want to have papers on file showing that you are solely responsible for making medical,legal decisions for the child.

Check with legal aid in your area and see if they can help you draft something for the courts saying you have legal custody, then try to get it on the docket and get it signed off on by the judge.

 

[BL]

Get your local media involved , I bet you will end up with free legal help , and the wish will come true .

 

[CJane]

If you are both in absolute agreement re: the custody issue, then yes, you can just write it up - in PROPER FORMAT - and sign it/have it notarized and submit it to the court for a judge's signature and filing. It may require a hearing, it may not. But it won't take long.

Take three copies to the courthouse with you. Have the clerk stamp each one 'filed'. Let the clerk keep one for the judge to sign, you keep one, and mail one to the father, return receipt requested.

 

[special mom]

Thank you CJane. Would the court house be able to direct me to the PROPER FORMAT or is there a forms page on the web? I really appreciate the help.

 

[CJane]

Thank you CJane. Would the court house be able to direct me to the PROPER FORMAT or is there a forms page on the web? I really appreciate the help.

You're in MD? I don't know if the forms are available on the 'net. Their are no forms for my state, just general guidelines...

My suggestion would be to PM PROSEDADINMD and see if he can point you in the right direction.