marriage in Europe divorce in USA

[jlukar]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? NY

My fiance wants me to marry in Europe(Italy). After that I plan to bring her to New York with me.

What are the implications of this if I were to get a divorce in USA ?

Do European laws favor her and I will have much harder time getting a divorce in USA ? Does my standing in Europe be jepordized and I criminalized as the result if I don't abide by some European law ?


any help or pointers would be so so so greatly appreciated.


Thanks
J.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? NY

My fiance wants me to marry in Europe(Italy). After that I plan to bring her to New York with me.

What are the implications of this if I were to get a divorce in USA ?

Do European laws favor her and I will have much harder time getting a divorce in USA ? Does my standing in Europe be jepordized and I criminalized as the result if I don't abide by some European law ?


any help or pointers would be so so so greatly appreciated.


Thanks
J.

Its irrelevant. If you are living in the US at the time of a divorce then US law will apply.

However, you should speak to an immigration attorney before making the decision where to marry. Marrying in Europe could complicate your ability to bring her to the US.

 

[AHA]

Your biggest problem is how to get your wife to the US in less than a year.
The marriage doesn't sound very promising if you are already planning on how to get a divorce. Is this a marriage of convenience for Green Card maybe?

 

[jlukar]

Your biggest problem is how to get your wife to the US in less than a year.
The marriage doesn't sound very promising if you are already planning on how to get a divorce. Is this a marriage of convenience for Green Card maybe?

Gush no. I know that it sounds bad. My fiance was turned off by it when I asked her if there are any implications of doing the "divorce". But seeing so many of my friends marriage falling apart, I thought it would be good to know what I am in for.

 

[leafinator]

I understand you wanting to cover all your bases but try to understand the motivation of what is behind it: your trying to figure out the easiest way to get divorced. Are you sure you want to marry a woman where you even have to think of divorce before you're even married? Don't make the mistake of looking at others and thinking that divorce will probably come. Please understand that during your marriage there will be rough spots where you'll probably want to give up at one time or another. If you have ANY thoughts of divorce and it will only tempt you to give up and try again instead of fighting through it. Marriage is the best thing I've ever done and the toughest thing I've ever done. My wife and I are told very frequently that we have the best marriage they've ever seen. When asked our secret one of the things we always say is that we're committed to work through anything and put each other first (before ourselves). In other words, divorce is a word that we never use as it's simply not an option.

 

[jlukar]

I realize what you are saying

I understand you wanting to cover all your bases but try to understand the motivation of what is behind it: your trying to figure out the easiest way to get divorced. Are you sure you want to marry a woman where you even have to think of divorce before you're even married? Don't make the mistake of looking at others and thinking that divorce will probably come. Please understand that during your marriage there will be rough spots where you'll probably want to give up at one time or another. If you have ANY thoughts of divorce and it will only tempt you to give up and try again instead of fighting through it. Marriage is the best thing I've ever done and the toughest thing I've ever done. My wife and I are told very frequently that we have the best marriage they've ever seen. When asked our secret one of the things we always say is that we're committed to work through anything and put each other first (before ourselves). In other words, divorce is a word that we never use as it's simply not an option.

Thanks very much for that comment. I realize I have already spoiled somethings by bringing up the subject. she has been great and realy patient with me. I had started on a self-reflection journy as soon as I brought up the topic. I got thinking that I think of marriage as giving up control of my life and that is scary to me. Being the cautious person that i am I wanted some gaurantees. But I know that I am need to change my perspective somewhat to be fully comfortable. I was also thinking about asking for a prenuptual. Do you think that double spoils the whole thing? Allot of people tell me to do it. Not so much because I have any money, but more so that I don't want to assume her debts in case we seperate. Its scary time for me.

 

[leafinator]

That's actually a tough question that you ask. I understand that it's a scary time for you but maybe that means that you aren't ready for marriage. Part of committing yourself to a woman is being willing to love that woman no matter what: "In sickness and in health..." Do I think it's be a double whammy to bring up a prenup? If it were me, yeah. I'd be very hurt and very scared that the person I was about to committ my life to was already thinking about what to do when it falls apart. Obviously you don't want it to fall apart but thinking about this sort of thing already could be an indication that you don't think it will work out. The best suggestion I can make is to find a place to do pre-marital counseling. Now, with that said, let me tell you the kind of place you need to go to. Your average run-of-the-mill pre-marital counseling will be a couple hours long and you'll have to sit there and listen to someone. That's not for you (or for anyone in my opinion). The kind of pre-marital counseling that really works is one where you have to come prepared. A long list of questions of "How would you respond if...", "What do you think about..." and other scenarios should be answered ahead of the the appointment for discussion during the appointment. Pre-marital counseling if fabulous time to find out what your future wife really thinks about situations that are very difficult or uncomfortable to bring up in conversation. All topics should also be brought up: finances, kids, sex, who's in charge of what chores etc...You should leave your appointment feeling two things: that you know your fiancee better and life is going to be ok with her. If you don't feel that way after the appointment you need to talk to her about either going to pre-marital counseling somewhere else or you need to talk about your relationship and your future together. One other tip I want to give you is in regards to filling out the questions. If you find that you're tempted to lie to make yourself look better, don't. It's imperative that you both answer with 100% honesty - let your flaws show! It's scary to let your flaws show (especially the ones that you think you've kept covered) but I guarantee if your fiancee doesn't already know about them she will soon. It's imperative that you answer this way as the alternative is to have the truth come out after you're married and have your fiancee wondering why in the world you changed. I could go on and on but I've already typed out enough advice. Think about what I've said and let me know if I can be of further help.