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medical bills and immancipation

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sbeeman

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? IL. My husbands oldest son turned 18 in january, graduated high school in April, and moved out of his mothers in june. The divorce agreement says we are responsible for 100% medical on the children until each child is immancipated. says immancipation is turn 18 or graduate high school, whichever is later. My question is this: do we have to go to court or can we just notify the providers in writing that we are no longer responsible for his medical expenses? I know the wording is important (because the wording screwed us on the child support). It says "the parties respective obligations under this article shall commence upon the effective date of this agreement and shall continue, as to the minor children, until the emancipation of each child, as herein deifned. (18 or graduation whichever is later, maintaining a full time residence outside the home....) on and on. Can I just send the providers a letter? thanks.
 


seniorjudge

Senior Member
Q: My question is this: do we have to go to court or can we just notify the providers in writing that we are no longer responsible for his medical expenses?

A: Yes, but have you talked to the kid about this? It's kind of nasty to let an 18-year old go without medical insurance, isn't it?
 

sbeeman

Junior Member
It's not the insurance. We'll keep him on the insurance until the insurance company removes him (I think 19). It's the out of pocket expense. Last november he was constipated (no joke) and it cost us one thousand three hundred dollars out of pocket, because the ambulance (YES the ambulance) was out of network. Are you getting the picture yet? He has been raised by a mother who knows of absolutely no responsibility in the expenses of sending them to hospitals and doctors. She thinks it's free. So they go. A lot. For nothing. If one coughs...medical emergency. if one gets a sore throat...medical emergency. muscle pain...emergency. twisted ankle...emergency. I'm not trying to be nasty. but I have a doctor bill sitting her right now from september (65.00 OOP) and 38.00 OOP in meds because he had what everyone else had....a cold. Those numbers don't include what was charged to our insurance. Would you, in all honesty, keep paying them? I have a list a mile long of instances like the episode of constipation. It's not isolated.
 

MrsK

Senior Member
It's not the insurance. We'll keep him on the insurance until the insurance company removes him (I think 19). It's the out of pocket expense. Last november he was constipated (no joke) and it cost us one thousand three hundred dollars out of pocket, because the ambulance (YES the ambulance) was out of network. Are you getting the picture yet? He has been raised by a mother who knows of absolutely no responsibility in the expenses of sending them to hospitals and doctors. She thinks it's free. So they go. A lot. For nothing. If one coughs...medical emergency. if one gets a sore throat...medical emergency. muscle pain...emergency. twisted ankle...emergency. I'm not trying to be nasty. but I have a doctor bill sitting her right now from september (65.00 OOP) and 38.00 OOP in meds because he had what everyone else had....a cold. Those numbers don't include what was charged to our insurance. Would you, in all honesty, keep paying them? I have a list a mile long of instances like the episode of constipation. It's not isolated.

It probably would be best to file with the court to stop paying for the medical. I think in some states child support just ends at age X, but in other states you must file with SES or the courts to stop paying, I imagine it goes that way for the medical, too. I'm sure someone with knowledge of how it works in your state will come along.

If you have to file with the courts for it to stop, then you'll need to pay the bills until the order is amended. I feel for you (I mean really, who goes to the Dr because they are constipated?? Let alone by ambulance...there are really easy at-home remedies for constipation...) but you could get into trouble if you just stop paying & your state requires that paperwork be filed to end any type of support.

A question- how on earth did your husband get stuck paying 100% of medical expenses? I've seen it 50/50, I've seen it 50/50 after a certain amt a yr (like in my state, $250, then the parents split the costs) and I've seen it split purportionally according to each parents % of support...but its not common for an NCP to pay 100% of medical bills.

Also, I dont know if this is the only child or youngest, but if its not and ya'll are still paying 100% medical for other minor children- you should get it put into the paperwork that the CP has to use IN NETWORK providers, facilities, etc etc etc or pay the difference herself. Its really a shame that she is doing that, and your husband should ask the court to put a stop to it. She would probably be much less likely to do things like that if she would be responsible for a $1300 bill because she refused to use someone covered by the insurance.
 

sbeeman

Junior Member
The original divorce decree had a reduction in child support (from the states 32% set rate) a "deviation" in light of him paying 100% medical (and I mean 100%. dental, eye, med, all of it). She took him back to court four years after that, and child support was raised to the standard 32% but nothing on the medical was modified. He had a very bad attorney and walked out of court paying the standard c.s. for illinois AND all medical. Get this: not only was support raised to the standard for illinois with no modification of the medical support...he had to pay her retroactive child support to the beginning of that year. (and he was not in arrears or anything like that, all was current and on time etc.)
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
You do realize that since the child is now a legal adult that if you are off the hook for any unreimbursed medical expenses that those will now be the responsibility of the child?...NOT the CP....which means that the child's credit rating could be destroyed before he/she even gets a chance to start one?
 

sbeeman

Junior Member
I don't really like the contention on here that we don't want to support our kids. We have supported them. For ten years We've paid our c.s., all the while buying them whatever they announced they needed when they walked in the door...mom said to tell you we need shoes. mom said to tell you we need new coats. mom said to tell you we need jeans. The child support? It went for her new hot tub, her new hardwood floors, her annual new furniture, her vacations to hawaii, florida and the Bahamas. Care to guess how many vacations we've had? We've paid the medical insurance, we've paid the dental insurance, and we've paid 100% of everything above and beyond what that covers. With 98% of it being unnecessary. One year, when they (there are 3) were younger, mom took them to the doctor so much that the insurance company contacted us to inquire as to whether there may be abuse. Now that's pretty bad. Then this one (the oldest) hit his senior year in high school last year, got a part time job, and it didn't take him long to figure out if he went to the doctor in the morning, he could have an excuse note and be out running with his girlfriend by 3pm, instead of clocking in at work. and it didn't cost. He's a perfectly healthy young man, going on 19 years old. In the last twelve months before he graduated, he was at the doctor FOURTEEN TIMES. After each doctor visit his dad called him to make sure he was ok, and he was gone out running around with his girlfriend and friends. Ya know, enough is enough already. Yes, I realize they are his responsibility and not his mothers, but what I really think is that if he needs a doctors note to go out drinking instead of going to work, he can buy it himself.
 

moburkes

Senior Member
Why do you keep saying WE? its your husband's child, not yours. It is his right and responsibility to support HIS child, not yours.
 

MrsK

Senior Member
I don't really like the contention on here that we don't want to support our kids. We have supported them. For ten years We've paid our c.s., all the while buying them whatever they announced they needed when they walked in the door...mom said to tell you we need shoes. mom said to tell you we need new coats. mom said to tell you we need jeans. The child support? It went for her new hot tub, her new hardwood floors, her annual new furniture, her vacations to hawaii, florida and the Bahamas. Care to guess how many vacations we've had? We've paid the medical insurance, we've paid the dental insurance, and we've paid 100% of everything above and beyond what that covers. With 98% of it being unnecessary. One year, when they (there are 3) were younger, mom took them to the doctor so much that the insurance company contacted us to inquire as to whether there may be abuse. Now that's pretty bad. Then this one (the oldest) hit his senior year in high school last year, got a part time job, and it didn't take him long to figure out if he went to the doctor in the morning, he could have an excuse note and be out running with his girlfriend by 3pm, instead of clocking in at work. and it didn't cost. He's a perfectly healthy young man, going on 19 years old. In the last twelve months before he graduated, he was at the doctor FOURTEEN TIMES. After each doctor visit his dad called him to make sure he was ok, and he was gone out running around with his girlfriend and friends. Ya know, enough is enough already. Yes, I realize they are his responsibility and not his mothers, but what I really think is that if he needs a doctors note to go out drinking instead of going to work, he can buy it himself.

You shouldnt feel that way, obviously your husband paid his support & the medical...some ppl on here have this thing for parents continuing to support their ADULT children, which is absurd IMO. If a parent WANTS to support a child past age 18/graduation from high school, I think thats great, good for the parent and the child. I think its ridiculous that ANY parent is ever forced to support a kid beyond that. But I digress.

If your husband has done his legal duty to the child (and it seems as though he has) then he has done what he was supposed to do. Your husband is not required to support and coddle his ADULT son. Its not 'nasty' if you dont want to carry him on the insurance any longer (even though you said you will continue to do so until they will not carry him) and if he has medical bills that ruin his credit due to nonpayment, that is HIS fault. He needs to be responsible for his bills, and he needs to pay them.

Did you contact an atty to find out if you should file to stop medical payments? I imagine that is the best route, and your husband should do it as soon as possible or he may still be legally responsible for the bills. When it comes to the point where he is not responsible, or if the boy graduating from school automatically emancipated him, make sure you call him and tell him he will now be responsible for copays and any medical bills not covered by insurance. I'm willing to bet that is going to cut down on how often he goes to the Dr.

Also- your husband should file with the court to make the payment of uncovered medical expenses more equitable. Is the CP working? If not- have they imputed her an income? She should be paying a portion of the medical expenses at least equitable to her % of the support obligation, or even 50/50. You said there are 3 kids (what are the ages of the other 2?), and this is the oldest, so he could save himself quite a lot of money if he had this adjusted in court.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
What is the name of your state? IL. My husbands oldest son turned 18 in january, graduated high school in April, and moved out of his mothers in june. The divorce agreement says we are responsible for 100% medical on the children until each child is immancipated. says immancipation is turn 18 or graduate high school,

The order most certainly says nothing at all about immancipation. Just read it.
 

sbeeman

Junior Member
Yes, it says: (word for word)

"the parties respective obligations under this article IV shall commence upon the effective date of this agreement and shall continue, as to the minor children, until the emancipation of each child, as herein defined. For the purpose of this agreement the term "emancipation" is deemed to have occurred upon the earliest to happen of any of the following, at which the parties obligation for each minor child shall terminate except as herein provided in Article V:"

childs death,

the childs attaining the age of 18 years or completion of high school, whichever later occurs, but in no event beyond the child's 19th birthday."

(also maintaining full time residence outside the home of the cp, or induction into the military or the childs marriage)
 

MrsK

Senior Member
Yes, it says: (word for word)

"the parties respective obligations under this article IV shall commence upon the effective date of this agreement and shall continue, as to the minor children, until the emancipation of each child, as herein defined. For the purpose of this agreement the term "emancipation" is deemed to have occurred upon the earliest to happen of any of the following, at which the parties obligation for each minor child shall terminate except as herein provided in Article V:"

childs death,

the childs attaining the age of 18 years or completion of high school, whichever later occurs, but in no event beyond the child's 19th birthday."

(also maintaining full time residence outside the home of the cp, or induction into the military or the childs marriage)

Yeah, see, your husband could probably have quit paying in April. Check with an atty (most will give free consultations) about if it needs to be filed with the court. If so, file. If not, call up the son & the CP and let them both know he isnt paying any more medical expenses for the child. End of problem- let him pay his own $1300 ambulance bills ;)
 

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