This part of the post was clearly NOT directed at the OP, who said nothing about IF or medical bills--possibly because there ARE no bills in her situation? That's why the bulk of my admitted rant had to do with the bit quoted above. If we HAD used the option of bankruptcy--which many in our situation have done to completely close the book on our IF chapter--we would have been FORCING everyone else to pay for it. Instead, we're working our butts off to lower that debt so we can afford to foster-adopt the one child or sibling group that we SHOULD be able to afford at our income.
By the way, we're not talking babies or toddlers. We're looking at kids no younger than six years old who have a hard time finding "forever homes." We're in our 40s and will happily leave the little ones for people who've just gotta have the "baby experience."
I apologize for feeling strongly about this stuff and spewing. I guess it's hard to understand unless you've been pretty close to the situation (as Ras and I have) and you've gotten to hear women complain that it's been a whopping three months without +++ while you haven't seen one after twice that many YEARS of trying.
Sometimes it's easier to get angry then let the other emotions in. Helped a lot while trying to get PCP, HMO and RE to get into sync! That and keeping a sense of humor about the whole thing. We always joked that we'd hand out turkey basters instead of cigars if we ever succeeded--good thing we didn't buy more than we needed in the kitchen!
