Mentally Disabled Sibling

[Zigner]

I understand about a POA vs. Conservator; however, what is the point--at this point? I don't want to go through someone else to run OUR home.

I'm sorry - I thought we already gave suggestions on that. Tell sis to bit rocks (or pound sand, or whatever other phrase you want to use). She has no business sticking her nose in YOUR business.

But, I do feel the need to point out that your brother has EVERY right to have guests in his own home. At this point, if HE wants sis there, then sis can come over. If you were the conservator, you would have the ability to make the rules you wish to make.

 

[Wendy217]

Well, when she became abusive to my child in my home, I went to court. The judge said that I indeed COULD keep her OUT of my house--shared with my bro or not. She hasn't been allowed back in for many, many years. She just came back in (with my blessing unfortunately). I thought she changed. Apparently, I was wrong. She didn't change is now starting all over again with her BS. I should have never let her back into my life or home. She is friendly to our brother of course and quizzes him all the time about finances. She is just mad that dad left me the house with my brother and not her.

 

[Zigner]

Well, when she became abusive to my child in my home, I went to court. The judge said that I indeed COULD keep her OUT of my house--shared with my bro or not. She hasn't been allowed back in for many, many years. She just came back in (with my blessing unfortunately). I thought she changed. Apparently, I was wrong. She didn't change is now starting all over again with her BS. I should have never let her back into my life or home. She is friendly to our brother of course and quizzes him all the time about finances. She is just mad that dad left me the house with my brother and not her.

Are you trying to say there is a restraining order of some type against your sister that would allow you to override your brother's wishes to have company at his house?

 

[Wendy217]

There was a restraining order and now it's over. It has been for a while. The judge did say that it is a civil case and called it trespassing. He said I could take it up in another court. She was angry and abusive. I can take it, my child she crossed the line.

 

[Zigner]

There was a restraining order and now it's over. It has been for a while.

So now we're back to the fact that you cannot prevent your brother from inviting a guest in to his residence.

 

[Wendy217]

I have no rights in my house when a deranged person comes in and wants to cause me harm?

 

[Zigner]

I have no rights in my house when a deranged person comes in and wants to cause me harm?

Call the cops.

The POINT I am making is that your brother is allowed to have guests where he lives. So you cannot attempt to take the moral high ground while also attempting to improperly restrict your brothers right to associate with other people.

 

[xylene]

So now we're back to the fact that you cannot prevent your brother from inviting a guest in to his residence.

There is also nothing to prevent her from explaining the situation to her legally competent brother and asking him politely not to do so, as well as explaining his interests in the situation.

It is perfectly normal to have the 'trust' conversation with adults with mild developmental / mental disabilities. Someone high functioning like OP's brother sounds capable of understanding the concept of 'hidden negative motives' and I think if OP explains it in a safe and sane way he will understand.

It probably won't be the last help he needs, but he holds a jobs and has an independent life. People with cognitive impairments don't walk around think the world is cloud 9.

"Your sister is mad at me because when daddy died I was going to live here with you. She wants to live here, but she doesn't want to live here with you. Do you understand? I don't know exactly what she wants, but I know a lot of it isn't good. We both love sister forever, but do you understand why I don't trust her and you should not either? That is why we can't have her visiting in our house. Is that OK with you?"

A perfectly cogent explanation and request for a competent man with some cog imparments.

 

[Zigner]

There is also nothing to prevent her from explaining the situation to her legally competent brother and asking him politely not to do so, as well as explaining his interests in the situation.

It is perfectly normal to have the 'trust' conversation with adults with mild developmental / mental disabilities. Someone high functioning like OP's brother sounds capable of understanding the concept of 'hidden negative motives' and I think if OP explains it in a safe and sane way he will understand.

It probably won't be the last help he needs, but he holds a jobs and has an independent life. People with cognitive impairments don't walk around think the world is cloud 9.

"Your sister is mad at me because when daddy died I was going to live here with you. She wants to live here, but she doesn't want to live here with you. Do you understand? I don't know exactly what she wants, but I know a lot of it isn't good. We both love sister forever, but do you understand why I don't trust her and you should not either? That is why we can't have her visiting in our house. Is that OK with you?"

A perfectly cogent explanation and request for a competent man with some cog imparments.

I have no disagreement with this.