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Michigan and the 14th Amendment

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JROSE36

Junior Member
Im just sayin that at the hospital if you are told your husband is the one that goes on the bc and you don't have a choice. Then how many people do you think will go petition the court? How many people do you think might know thats what you have to do? How many people do you think does it? There you are having your baby and all the joys that come with it, your emotionaly and physicaly exhasted from the birth. On the way home with your new baby.....oh wait gotta stop at the court house your not the father!
I don't think thats going to be on the mind of a new mother or her husband. Husband is dealing with the emotions that he loves his wife and wants his marrage to work and is willing to except this child and can he do it. Bio father nowhere around and he don't care, yet he is informed of the birth. But still does nothing.
Six years pass by, husband is the best daddy a child could ever have. treats child no differently than his other 5. Bio father learns through the grapevine that child has a trust fund from moms heritage. All the sudden Bio father has a change of heart and wants to be the father of a child he did'nt ever want. I don't think so!!!!!!!!!
So now, I did the right thing by not deneying my child a father period. Why petition a court to take her daddy away? And lets not put all the blam on mom here, husband and bio father could have done things to, it took two to tango and one to stand by.
In my opinion it should be on an individual case basis. If bio father wanted to be there from the start then he should have the right to be a father to the child, I never denied my childs bio father that right in the beginning. But after years why should my childs life be disrupted from the only life she has known? It is not in the childs best interest.
Lets not lose sight of the important one here THE CHILD, and they should'nt have to pay for adult mistakes and every adult has made them. I could have done this or I could have done that, I could care less who made her. I just care that she is a well rounded, happy child with two parents. Thats all I have cared about since her birth. Mabe I could have pititioned a court to have the bc changed, gee did'nt think I could do that at the time since the hospital said my husband goes on the bc and I had no choice. Just like it was my first time having a baby that was'nt my husbands. Just like im still in my first and only marrage and still learning about each other after 17 years. Just like my first child did'nt come with a book on how to parent that child.
 


ceara19

Senior Member
Lets not lose sight of the important one here THE CHILD, and they should'nt have to pay for adult mistakes and every adult has made them.
You're right, the CHILD shouldn't have to pay for the mistakes of the ADULTS. That includes the mistake that YOU made by screwing around on your husband. You can't say with ANY certainty that having her REAL father in her life wouldn't be a GOOD thing that only enhanced her life. I didn't know who my real father was until I was in my 20's. By then, he was dead and I will never know what having a relationship with him would have brought to my life. But I do know that I missed out on over 20 years of time with my brother and grandmother, both of whom I am very close to now. I know that when I get together with that side of my family and they talk about all of the things that happened BEFORE I met them, it saddens me that I will never be able to share those memories with them. And it's the little things that hurt the most. When the family is all together and my grandmother talks about some simple inconsequential event like the year that grandpa cut down a Christmas tree and set it up in the house only to have a squirrel jump out and run loose in the house while everyone chased it around for hours, I don't remember that because I didn't even know these people existed and never had the chance to know "grandpa".

Children are much more resilient than adults are. Beginning a relationship with her father while she is YOUNG will be much easier then when she is older. Plus, as much as I love and respect my mother, I still blame HER for the fact that I missed all of those years with my "other" family. I always will because it IS her fault. As much as she WANTS to believe that she was right, she knows NOW that she wasn't and it's too late for her to fix it.
 
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