Please don't bombard me with hate mail, but I do believe a wife of 26 years is entitled to those benefits. 26 years is a lifetime of being one-half of the other person because that's what marriage is--the two become one.
She doesn't owe anyone an obligation of getting an education, or getting a job, or a dog, or a cat. It's her life now; hers and hers alone. She's not being paid to sit around; she's receiving financial benefits that are due her for 26 years of being his wife.
If in fulfilling her role as his wife, she was a homemaker, more power to her. Homes need someone to be a homemaker and it's my personal opinion that many of today's problems would be solved if one parent would quit work and go home and be a homemaker and a full time parent.
Laws that provide these benefits are necessary for the very 'reasons' posted here--jealousy over what the ex wife is getting. Who would benefit if the husband got 100%--the new wife, not the one who devoted 26 years of her life to the marriage. The husband knew this before he married you and if he didn't tell you about it, maybe you need to ask him why not. If you did know about it, you had the option of not marrying him if his not receiving 100% was such a threat to your well-being.
Before you launch into what a sorry wife she was, #1 you don't know because you weren't there, and #2 those benefits are not based on whether it was a happy marriage, or whether she meets your expectations of what she should have been or should be.
You would be much happier if you quit focusing on the ex-wife and how she lives her life and what money she receives. If the shoe were on the other foot, that foot being yours, you would want the 50% of the benefits to which you were entitled--hell, you want hers now!
There was no reason for you to hide from her slanderous remarks, if she made them. You chose to hide rather than face others when you knew you had been talked about. I don't believe you were banned from going to restaurants, stores, theaters, churches, etc. because of what she said. You chose not to go, thereby empowering her words and actions. She is not responsible for your actions, you are; just as she is responsible for her actions.
I urge you to let go of your absorbtion and anger over the ex wife and enjoy the husband and the life you have now, and I hope you aren't the reason this marriage ended. If you're not careful, though, you may be the reason this marriage ends. Your husband must feel guilty about loving this woman for almost 30 years, and don't kid yourself, they did share a deep bond or no matter what she was like, he would have not stayed for 26 years.
