Modification of parenting plan

[AnonUserName]

Fair enough...
I just don't know, or can't think of any other compromise to try and make the Ex placated.

$450 over 2 years isn't bad at all, especially if you only thought it was $25.

A fair request would be that you carry insurance and adjust the child support to reflect you providing insurance.

You could also agree to advanced notice of routine doctors appointments and notification of emergency appointments as soon as possible.

 

[Ladyback1]

$450 over 2 years isn't bad at all, especially if you only thought it was $25.

A fair request would be that you carry insurance and adjust the child support to reflect you providing insurance.

You could also agree to advanced notice of routine doctors appointments and notification of emergency appointments as soon as possible.

I do advise him when the children get sick and end up needing a Dr's appt. I usually advise him of any routine med appts. For a while, I stopped keeping track of the medical expenses because I got tired of being frustrated by his refusal to even acknowledge that I had sent him communications...


I have always been the one to make sure the kids have insurance (either thru my job, or thru state CHIP--called Healthy MT Kids here).
Regardless of the outcome of the court proceeding, I will continue to make sure the kids are taken care of--with or without the Ex keeping up his obligations

 

[AnonUserName]

I do advise him when the children get sick and end up needing a Dr's appt. I usually advise him of any routine med appts. For a while, I stopped keeping track of the medical expenses because I got tired of being frustrated by his refusal to even acknowledge that I had sent him communications...


I have always been the one to make sure the kids have insurance (either thru my job, or thru state CHIP--called Healthy MT Kids here).
Regardless of the outcome of the court proceeding, I will continue to make sure the kids are taken care of--with or without the Ex keeping up his obligations

I'm sorry, I don't know the history between you and your ex. Is Our Family Wizard something to consider for sharing documents (doctors bills, etc and doctors appointments?

 

[Ladyback1]

I'm sorry, I don't know the history between you and your ex. Is Our Family Wizard something to consider for sharing documents (doctors bills, etc and doctors appointments?

I would definitely use it.
If the court entertains his request for modification, I will suggest instead that we begin to use our family wizard.

While I can't predict the future, I suspect he will balk at the idea of paying any sort of fee. He has, in the past, only showed interest when it suited him, or he felt I was *wrong*. He got angry because our oldest chose welding as an elective last year (9th grader), he felt that welding was just too dangerous and of no use to the kid. He only put that argument forward when he realized there was an extra cost to welding. Before I mentioned cost, he was all in (FWIW the kid excelled in welding, enjoyed it, and chose welding II for an elective this year)

It has been a contentious divorce. And, shortly after the divorce I was just as much a part of the problem. However, I got over my anger (well, most of it!). All I ever wanted from the Ex was to be a father to the kids. It seemed to be a no-brainer to me, since the children are boys, for their father to want to be in their lives.

 

[Ladyback1]

UPDATE--Court today

Court was today....

I had all of my documentation in order. I stayed on task, only answering what the judge asked or explaining an issue that the Ex brought up.

Ex, however, did not do himself any favors. At one point the judge told him that she wasn't going to argue with him about a particular issue. And she asked him why, exactly, he believed he did not have any responsibility for paying for his children's medical care...

I provided proof that I had advised the Ex re: medical information, I provided proof that Ex had been less than amicable (by refusing letters sent/returned unopened mail, by not opening emails for 21 days *thanks to readnotify*)

I don't really care about the decision. I am more proud of myself for not being drawn into a peeing match with the Ex, not responding to his accusations and falsehoods! I am more proud of myself for being calm, and being able to get through this whole thing without crying (I typically cry easily...heaven help me if a sappy commercial comes on the TV.)

The judge said she would have to review all the evidence/documents and would issue a decision; she did advise the Ex that he did owe for the out-of-pocket medical, she just needed to review the numbers.

 

[AnonUserName]

Court was today....

I had all of my documentation in order. I stayed on task, only answering what the judge asked or explaining an issue that the Ex brought up.

Ex, however, did not do himself any favors. At one point the judge told him that she wasn't going to argue with him about a particular issue. And she asked him why, exactly, he believed he did not have any responsibility for paying for his children's medical care...

I provided proof that I had advised the Ex re: medical information, I provided proof that Ex had been less than amicable (by refusing letters sent/returned unopened mail, by not opening emails for 21 days *thanks to readnotify*)

I don't really care about the decision. I am more proud of myself for not being drawn into a peeing match with the Ex, not responding to his accusations and falsehoods! I am more proud of myself for being calm, and being able to get through this whole thing without crying (I typically cry easily...heaven help me if a sappy commercial comes on the TV.)

The judge said she would have to review all the evidence/documents and would issue a decision; she did advise the Ex that he did owe for the out-of-pocket medical, she just needed to review the numbers.

That's great and good luck on the decision.

I am curious though, what in the world was his response on the bolded? I'm sure it couldn't have made the judge happy.

 

[Ladyback1]

That's great and good luck on the decision.

I am curious though, what in the world was his response on the bolded? I'm sure it couldn't have made the judge happy.

There is a particular bill: It is a bill for our youngest who ended up in the ER when we were on vacation. The bill was incurred in June 2009. We separated in August 2009, divorced in Dec. 2009. I received the final bill after all the insurance stuff (two insurances, we were visiting in Texas, etc.) in February 2010. I advised him of the bill in March 2010 and never heard from him regarding it. I paid it (over time).

His response to the judge was "well, she CHOSE to pay that! If she had consulted me, *I* would have negotiated with them for a lower amount...she doesn't have the right to just pay these bills without talking to me first!" I swear, I think I saw the judge's spine go out of joint at that. I am pretty sure she did roll her eyes!

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

My judge has rolled her eyes over some of the stupidest things my X has said. Yeah - no credibility in a court. Please tell me that you asked that he pay all associated court fees.

And isn't readnotify the best? My X tried telling the judge that it wasn't "reliable." She didn't bite.

 

[Ladyback1]

My judge has rolled her eyes over some of the stupidest things my X has said. Yeah - no credibility in a court. Please tell me that you asked that he pay all associated court fees.

And isn't readnotify the best? My X tried telling the judge that it wasn't "reliable." She didn't bite.

I qualified as being "indigent"...so I have no court costs. And since I had to let my attorney go (see the indigent part!) I don't have any legal fees.

I could have asked for interest since some of the bills are 2-3 years old, but...I don't want extra. I just want him to cowboy up and pay his part.
And yep! I like readnotify

 

[Ladyback1]

And now:

I sent Ex an email advising him that I was sending him the boys' school pictures, along with the information so he could order more if he wanted (I sent him one pic of each kid). I advised him that I was sending it certified (no signature, no delivery confirmation, just a tracking # so I could make sure he got it). He REFUSED the letter, and had it sent it back!

Had a minor incident at school with the oldest child---Ex needed to be informed. Attempted to contact him via phone....the only number I have for him is no longer a working number. Emailed him regarding the incident, and apparently the school called him (per the vice-principal) and spoke w/ the Ex. I don't know what the Ex's response was, will find out Monday because I have a meeting w/ the vice-principal.

The only email address I have for him, is an address that he shares with his wife--so I don't know if those are being opened and read by him or her. I'm not getting a response either way.

What do I do?
emotionally, I just want to tell the Ex to bugger off and not even try to keep him informed!

And even though he continues to pay child support through the state's enforcement division, do any of his action rise to the level of abandonment?