Mom deceased, what next?

[LdiJ]

OVS says they do not have it filed yet. Can I get it from the funeral home? What is FMLA?

Yes, I do have concerns about grandma filing for custody. If she has any chance of it, she will do whatever it takes to get it. This is why I want to be sure all of my bases are covered. And it's not just me being the nice guy, all too often we get too caught up in the legalities and forget there's an 8 yo girl involved. If I walked up there to grandma's house, court order in hand, with a sheriff, demanding my daughter, there will be some crying and upset people. She has enough to deal with as it is.

I really think that you should get a very quick consult with an attorney. While I also commend your sensitivity to both child and grandma...if grandma participated in game playing in the past, then you can almost be certain that grandma either HAS or does plan to file for custody (maybe even emergency, ex-parte) as soon as she can. It might be wiser to just go get your child.

 

[rm1759]

I really think that you should get a very quick consult with an attorney. While I also commend your sensitivity to both child and grandma...if grandma participated in game playing in the past, then you can almost be certain that grandma either HAS or does plan to file for custody (maybe even emergency, ex-parte) as soon as she can. It might be wiser to just go get your child.

Which I did do this afternoon. My attorney did say I could go and get my child right now. He asked me why I was reluctant. I explained it to him, and asked if we could file the petition for sole custody/termination of support with the obituary from the paper. What he did do is file the emergency ex-parte petition for sole custody/termination of support and UCCJEA affidavit with wording that the certificate would be forthcoming. My attorney said that she does not have standing to sue for custody. Which may be the case, but how long would daughter have to stay there before she would have standing?

In filing this, would this provide me with any protection whatsoever? What happens if she does the same thing during this time?

I will be speaking with grandma tonight with daughter's counselor. While there, I was considering making it clear to grandma that now I have custody, and would she consider watching my child during the week after school. This way I could have the doctor's testimony that she agreed to this, would that help me at all if she does decide to file something?

 

[VeronicaGia]

I know you are trying your best to be sensitive, but please, go get your child.

Do not tell grandma anything about filing for custody.

FMLA is Family Medical Leave Act. I don't know if you'd qualify, but maybe you should go get your child, and take an emergency vacation.

 

[beenthere30]

I agree that you should just get your daughter NOW! Grief is a powerful emotion and with the GM losing her daughter she is going to hold onto her GD even more now. This may cause her to fight with all her power to keep her and the longer you leave your daughter there the more chance she stands of getting some kind of custody. Your daughter does need her grandmother but go get her NOW and then if you want work out some kind of visitation arrangment with the grandma like one weekend night a week or something.

 

[justlilolme]

I definitely agree that you should go get your child now! But if you really don't mind doing the drive every day then let her stay in the same school and ask g'ma if she will please watch her after school. That way g'ma will still be seeing her everyday and you two can split up the weekends. That might be the wisest and safest transition for everyone.

Also, do not forget that you still should follow through with the paperwork with the attorney.

 

[Inquiry123]

Stay on the high road

Your att'y has filed the emergency petition. The petition will be result in an order. This whole process won't take long.

IMO you've approached this the right way. There's no need to pack bags tonight or tear the child out of gmother's arms. What message does that convey? And there's no legal need for it. This process can transpire over the course of a week. Saying goodbye to friends, teachers, church. Why not pick her up next Friday.

If you plan on unveiling your plan tonight at the counselor (I recommend having that professional third-party available) you should call the counselor in advance so they will be prepared (they probably already are, given the circumstances.) Reassuring the child and the rest of the family that regular visits will be a part of the picture should be very reassuring.

YOU need to set the timeline. I agree with the others...sooner better than later (don't wait the 6 weeks until Summer Break.)

 

[Ron1347]

IMHO....if 'I' had the means and opportunity and the desire (as it seems you have conveyed 'you' do), 'I' would take my daughter to school each of however many 'actual' school days are left, and allow my daughter to spend her very little remaining time finishing out her school year with her friends and familiar surroundings. I myself would hate to make my daughter change schools with such little time left. Being thrown in with all new strangers for such a brief period. How many 'actual' school days are left. And isn't there a Holiday or two within the remaining time. How many actual school days could there be remaining? 20 at very most? Less, if there is a Holiday or two in there somewhere that she doesn't have school? I don't know. Like I said, 'I' would do my best to just allow daughter to finish right where she is. But, NOT with gramma 'in control'! JMHO