Mom is custodial parent and dad is causing trouble

[tooniceinms]

Hi, I am a divorced mother of a three year old (almost four year old) in Mississippi. Our divorce was final in January of 2003. I am the custodial parent and dad has visitation rights, we agreed to this in the no-fault divorce.

I am very nice about visitation and let him have our child more often that agreed upon.

My ex remarried last year in July and the new wife, who did this in her former marriage as well, is trying to get my ex to get custody of my son. He (my ex) is angry about the child support and he now says I tricked him into the custody agreement. And, although I let him see our child very often he tells our son that they are going swimming or camping or whatever and he can't go because I won't let him stay with his father.

I don't cause trouble. I just want my son to be well adjusted. I told my ex tonight that I will continue to be nice even if he keeps this up for the sake of our son and he should consider what he is doing to this child. He said he is just telling his son the truth. So, I'm at a loss. I have bent over backward to make things work, now I have to worry about him seeking custody. Anyone have anythoughts on this? Any words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

My response:

You said - -

"the new wife, who did this in her former marriage as well, is trying to get my ex to get custody of my son."

Hit him where it counts and where it will do the most "hurt". Tell him if he keeps up this attitude that you'll sue HER for contractual interference and damages. You'll presume that everything he negatively says is the result of her influence on him and take it as an "interference" between you and your child, and your ex-husband viz-a-viz the "contract". Remember, your custody and child support order is a contract.

That'll shut him up.

IAAL

 

[Badhead]

So sorry to hear what you're going through!!

I just went through the same thing!! I've been divorced since December 31, 1998. My ex met his current fiancee in 1999, and she basically moved in with him in late 1999 or early 2000 (I'm not exactly sure of date.).

I have custodial custody and we have joint legal custody also. I, too, give my ex way, way more visitation than agreed to. He and I had things going really well for the first couple years, and then "she" started interferring.

What I didn't realize at the time was that he was documenting things for about a year so he could go for full custody of our son. I knew something was brewing, as my sister and brother got involved. My ex had been talking to my sister behind my back and was trying to get information about me. He also tried to get information from my brother, but my brother told him to get a life.

Unfortunately, my sister didn't and she got caught in the middle, so to speak. She is very naive and didn't realize what was going on. My ex had been calling her for a year and asking questions about me.

Anyway, I was served my papers 2 weeks before the custody hearing. I had no lawyer! My experience with courts/lawyers had been my divorce. And, that had been a miserable experience. What ended up happening was my lawyer insinuated that all of this stress and trouble started when his fiancee entered the picture. Before that, everything was fine. And that my ex and his fiancee were doing it more as a retaliation thing.

The Judge also agreed, and within seconds, she ruled in my favor (and I thank God every day!). It was a scary experience. And I'm forever jaded to both of them.

That's why his fiancee was getting so involved in my son's life. She thinks she has every right to be involved in every single aspect of his life. Unfortunately, I don't. She and my ex actually said these words, "She is literally crazy and should be institutionalized." That was the straw that broke the camel's back!

I know for a fact that she has said these nice words to my son, also--"she is too stressed to care for you, she is crazy, she is unbalanced, etc. " Not a good thing to say to my son about his mother. My son is 8, and he and I have a very close relationship. I have no significant other, so we are really close right now--we're all we have right now. Unfortunately, that whole custody thing had a very negative impact on him, too.

And, I'm not so nice anymore either. I feel very, very angry by what happened, and I think I have a right to. So, that's my story.

I wish you the best. Unless you've done something to harm your child, they will not remove the child from where he/she resides now. They don't want lots of change in the child's life.


Badhead

 

[tammy8]

You know sometimes it takes someone by a Dad's side to give him the strength to go for is rightfully his--joint time with your children.....

Oh I forgot that the bm OWNS the children.

Nevermind th;en

 

[Reyna7]

Tammy 8

AMEN!!!!!!!!!! .....how many times do the BM's think they own the children and the father gets to borrow them.....do not get me started on this subject.

 

[baabaa]

I don't see this poster as being selfish, nor do I see her acting like she owns her children.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

I dont this poster as being selfish or acting like she owns her children.

My response:

Now, read your sentence slowly, and tell me what words are missing.

IAAL

 

[baabaa]

I apologize for my mistakes.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

I apologize for my mistakes.

My response:

Don't apologize. Just fix it!

I'd like to be sure of what it is you're trying to say.

IAAL

 

[baabaa]

I'ts been fixed.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

I don't see this poster as being selfish, nor do I see her acting like she owns her children.

My response:

Excellent. That's the way I read the initial post by the OP, also.

IAAL