Mom skipping court for Disney

[difficult3]

What is the name of your state? Pennsylvania

My husband filed for a support modification and the conference is tomorrow. He just got an email from his ex that she left for Disney with the kids yesterday, so clearly she has no intention of showing up. How will the court take that? Can just her lawyer show up in her place?

 

[stealth2]

No one can tell you how the court would take it. It's entirely possible that her presence isn't required at this particular hearing. We had any number of hearings that my ex wasn't at, but was represented by counsel. I wouldn't expect a huge deal to be made out of it. Especially since it would likely have been a planned trip.

 

[SingleMom67]

What is the name of your state? Pennsylvania

My husband filed for a support modification and the conference is tomorrow. He just got an email from his ex that she left for Disney with the kids yesterday, so clearly she has no intention of showing up. How will the court take that? Can just her lawyer show up in her place?

Has her attorney filed for a continuance? He needs to keep checking on that. Has the ex notified the court that she's out of state? It's entirely possible they'll continue it and can do so up until the very last minute. I've also seen it where the case has been continued AFTER a party has already shown up. Unfortunately, it happens all the time. Sure it's a big inconvenience, but it's not a big deal at this level. It's only the conference officer. The ex probably knows that she can appeal from this decision within ten days even if the hearing proceeds without her there. Then it'll go before a master. Having said that, your husband needs to push the conference officer to proceed without here. If he can effectively argue that the hearing notices went out before the vacation was planned, he might get it. Again, at this level, it could go either way. If it makes him feel any better, I had to show up 8 times before the court actually did anything about my ex's failures to appear!!!!

 

[difficult3]

No continuance was filed as far as we know. Been checking the court system every day.

She does everything possible to avoid going to court. She has been playing this game for YEARS. The issue is that she has been taking daycare money but quit work over a year ago. I'm sure she doesn't want to face the court over that. Unfortunately we don't have proof besides one email where she actually said she quit work and I'm hoping that her "no show" will lift some of the burden of proof off my DH.

Also...any chance they will impute an income for her based off of her Income and Expense paperwork filed in Missouri in 2003. It is a lot higher than what she orignially filed in PA.

Also..for my own education, what does "Vacating the order, and eventually it was closed." mean in your last post?

 

[SingleMom67]

OP: You or your husband should actually be calling. Wait until just before they close for the day. Over here in Chester County, it's 4 o'clock. The reason I say that is it's standard practice for the attorneys to file for continuances at the very end of the day. Also, they don't always update the postings "up-to-the-minute." Just a suggestion. Your husband may very well still have to go to court. In fact, I recommend he does AND that he pushes for the conference officer to proceed without her. If the ex has a history of this behaviour, he needs to remind the officer of that. It should all be noted in the DR file.

Second point, absolutely he should bring in the paperwork from Missouri. If he's got proof she's earning more, then by all means, he should take it in with him. I'm sorry, without digging through all your posts, have the courts sent out for her to provide copies of her past six months pay stubs? I'm just wondering if she's actually now making more than what she put down in Missouri's paperwork from 2 years ago???????

 

[difficult3]

Yes, she received the same order as him to provide financial details. The 2003 documents is the only thing we have though. We're guessing she hasn't worked since at least December 2004. I just wish he had more proof. I'm afraid her lawyer will show up with something lame that she faked and the court will take it as fact. He can't even get proof that his youngest is now enrolled in Kindergarten aside from her emails referencing it. The school won't respond to any of his requests including a formal letter stating his rights under the law. Unfortunately, we can't afford to have a lawyer pursue this issue among all the others his ex dredges up and well...hearing is tomorrow.

 

[SingleMom67]

Yes, she received the same order as him to provide financial details. The 2003 documents is the only thing we have though. We're guessing she hasn't worked since at least December 2004. I just wish he had more proof. I'm afraid her lawyer will show up with something lame that she faked and the court will take it as fact. He can't even get proof that his youngest is now enrolled in Kindergarten aside from her emails referencing it. The school won't respond to any of his requests including a formal letter stating his rights under the law. Unfortunately, we can't afford to have a lawyer pursue this issue among all the others his ex dredges up and well...hearing is tomorrow.

Well, at least you have the 2003 numbers which your husband definitely needs to present to the conference officer. They're higher than the numbers the ex gave to PA. Anything that's presented at this level, don't forget, can be appealed. Remind him that if he walks out of this conference (assuming it goes), and he's not liking something, he's got 10 days to request a hearing in front of the master. It'll take at least a month, if not two, to get on the docket for the master, so it'll give him time to verify the evidence presented. Come back here and let me know what happens. If he needs to, there's a bunch of us here that can guide you through telling him how to subpoena her bank records, subpoena this uncooperative school (which sounds like they're violating federal law!!), etc. What has the ex been using in the past for proof of daycare? By the way, good luck to him tomorrow.

 

[difficult3]

Thank you SOOOO much! I am sure we're going to want help with subpoenas.
First problem is we can't even get a confirmed name of WHERE the youngest went to daycare. The place that my DH thought it was claims to have no record of him. And his son used to even point to the place saying that was his "school."

If you've read my posts, you'll also see that my husband is unemployed for the second time in four months. He has always paid his child support, had a stable career until recently and is working hard to find another job. However, his last job he was only at 1 month 1/2 and the one before was six months. The catch...both of these jobs were a $20,000 increase from 2004. Any tips on keeping them from imputing his income at the rate of those two jobs? Domestic Relations already said he should fill out his income statement based on what he gets for unemployment. With the economy the way it is right now, it looks like he won't be able to match his salary from these short term jobs and it will be tough if his child support is determined at that rate.

 

[SingleMom67]

First problem is we can't even get a confirmed name of WHERE the youngest went to daycare.

For this one, tell you husband to take a pen and paper in with him if and when he goes to the conference hearing. The ex would have had to provide some proof that she was paying daycare. It would have either been a letter from the daycare provider, cancelled checks payable to the provider, something. While the court won't give your husband that paper, they should let him copy down the information. If it's an actual school, then he might have better luck tracking that down (for proof). If it's an individual, that's harder to verify. In any event, she'll have to provide proof of daycare again this time if she's wanting to claim it. Although it sounds like she's not using one. Unfortunately, your husband can't go backwards for any overpayments, but he can stop that calculation as of the date of when he filed for this modification.

As far as your husband's income, they'll take an average of the past six months. The unemployment should drastically bring that higher income average way down. He needs to however, really argue that he's not able to get an equivalent job at that level. Tell him to aggressively seek that they use the income he was making when he was more steadily employed. Have him bring those pay stubs. Also, have him go in with a list of places he's applied to, salaries offered, whatever proof he can come up with to show the courts he's really tried and just can't get up to that level anymore.

 

[difficult3]

Thank you. That's great advice. We've been trying to figure out how they would do his income. We so want this reduction so he'll have the money to visit the kids. We are already looking at giving up an October visit because of airfaire. It's really depressing while she's off in Disney with her millionaire husband at a resort that STARTS at $250 a night.

 

[difficult3]

Success!

Well my husband went in and handled everything pro se and was VERY prepared. Her lawyer showed up with information from 2003.

Three scenarios were proposed:

1. Evaluated with his unemployment salary and have the daycare removed..but that would most likely be appealed by her.

2. Keep the support the same and have the daycare removed

3. Have him evaluated at the salary jump with the daycare removed.

My husband convinced her lawyer that he could make a case that he's not able to sustain the higher income so she put #2 on the table and that's what they agreed to. Removing the daycare lowered his support by $120 a week.


She also petitioned to carry the children's health insurance. Something we were expecting eventually. She doesn't like us knowing anything about when the kid's go to the doctor. It's a losing battle to stay involved anyway since she's in another state--but we're trying!

Anyway...we're happy with the results. Thanks to everyone for their advice. This is a great site! Believe us...this money will go right back to his children in the form of airfare for visits.

 

[SingleMom67]

Yeah for your husband (and you too)!!!!! Very good news.

 

[Peaches1122]

If he needs to, there's a bunch of us here that can guide you through telling him how to subpoena her bank records, subpoena this uncooperative school (which sounds like they're violating federal law!!), etc.

Well I'd like to take you up on that offer. (I've switched screennames because difficult3 gave the wrong impression) The school has started to cooperate...but we'll take any help on how to get her financial info. We believe her lawyer only took the compromise because his ex had a much higher income in 2004. They are bringing my hubby back for a reevaluation in January. How can we find out her 2004 income for sure?

 

[424Smudge]

My husband has been to court a lot of times where mom didn't show up and her lawyer simply stood in for her. You might have a better chance with her not being there but her lawyer can legally do it.