more games from the ex...can I do anything?

[whitsmom]

Hello again. Last night we had another "situation" involving my ex. (I have a previous post in this forum with background info.)

He called our house at 1:00am (totally out of the blue, there was nothing that led up to the call) to "call my husband out." I record conversations with the ex...but my husband didn't think of it. We called the police (for the 4th time for this same crap.) They came and got another information report...the ex called while the police were here (drunk and at a bar)so the officer looked at our caller ID and got the times and phone numbers from where he called from for the report.

He called again from a store much closer to our house...so we called the officer to let him know that he was on his way up.

At 2am, the officer found him about 2 blocks away from our house with another guy...he was drunk but not driving. My ex lives 35 miles away from us and drove all the way up here to fist fight with my husband and thereaten to kill him...yet he won't drive this far to see his child.

The officer said when he pulled up, the ex was "shoving something into his mouth." (When my ex called the first time he said he was "up on $200 worth of coke.") The officer put all of this into a report for me. I have 3 other similar reports but none where he actually made it so close to us...just threats that the police listened to on my ans. machine.

Is any of this info going to do me any good? I document everything, but I am really discouraged right now because he pulls so much crap and NEVER goes to jail...I don't get it. Someday my husband would like to adopt my daughter so he is trying very hard not to stoop to the ex's level, but it gets tiresome after 3 years of this push me pull you thing. Is all of this really going to help me if we do take him to court him for the adoption?

BTW...I don't have an injunction against him...I have had 6...he knows exactly how far to push with one of those and managed to harass me each time but didn't go to jail once because I couldn't prove he called or drove by every day...he was even ordered to pay for the last one two years ago and didn't...I just don't want to waste my money on an order that has been useless to me in the past...any words of encouragement or advice? Also to LB...We are having the papers drawn up for me to have sole custody.

 

[MySonsMom]

Bring all of your documentation to court for proof of him being a pycho. Why not get a restraining order on him, since he has threatened your family.

 

[ebaying]

I am been through all of this, only it was with my husband's ex-wife. If possible, have the phone company add another phone number to your line. One will ring differently when that number is called. Give you family and close friends this new number and let your ex keep calling the old number. If you want to answer you can and if not you will have a clear record of when he calls. Also does your ex pay child support? If he does, a good way to get him to consent to an adoption is to point out that the support will no longer be due. If he is behind in support offer to relieve him of that, but you can also have an agreement drawn up that states even though the adoption has taken place he is still allowed visitation. It sounds as if he doesn't see her anyways. Once you get the adoption then you can work to abolish the visitation agreement based on his actions! Feel free to email me. I have been through it all! ebaying@yahoo.com Also I can help you save money if you want to file contempt charges. We did it ourselves! Also I am not a lawyer and this is just advice!

 

[whitsmom]

thanks...my ex is court ordered to pay support but never has and i just recently had the collection process started with department of revenue (I didn't realize that I had to initiate the process and he is thousands behind). He doesn't seem to think anything will happen to him if he doesn't pay support since I haven't done anything until now, so he won't sign the adoption papers based on not having to pay support anymore. I am hoping when he finds out there WILL be reprocussions for not paying, he will have a change of heart and sign the papers voluntarily to save his sorry a** from going to jail (again).

He might ask to see our daughter twice a year, even when I WAS offering to bring her to him (no move visitation for him since he threatened not to give her back)...he only calls periodically...nothing for months and then nasty phone calls every day for a week or so...rarely does he ask to speak to his daughter...he is just trying to pull a power trip on me since I left him (finally) after all the abuse (How dare I!!)

Right now we are applying the pressure through child support for him to voluntarily sign the adoption papers, in the mean time we are working on me getting sole custody of her and waiting to see how it goes from there...letting him pull all the stunts he wants to...recording him and calling the police every time he gets lippy on the phone so I will have documentation of his crazy butt when we do finally go to court.

I'll email you and let you know what happened...

[Edited by whitsmom on 01-18-2001 at 05:01 PM]

 

[LegalBeagle]

I am sure I have told you this before.. but FL is an All Party state.. ie, it requires that all parties know about the recording. So, you start every call with informing him the call is being recording.. take over him if you have to.