Mother-in-law moving in

[leahg]

What is the name of your state? I don't kow what State.

A friend from the internet has a problem. Her husband announced that he was moving his mother into their home.

Can she legally block this? they both work and have two children. Can he legallybring who ever he wishes into their home, and she has no say i it?

 

[BeenAround]

Are you hoping that there is a law that would make it a crime for a man to invite his own mother to live in his own house that he shares with his wife and children? Or that it's a crime for a woman (mother-in-law, in this case) to accept an invitaion from her son to live in his house that he shares with his wife and children?

If the wife wants to consider taking any "legal actions" against her own mother-in-law, then it's probably time for her to file for a divorce and focus on getting her husband out of the house.

 

[leahg]

The situation is this.

The mother is 75 and owns her own home. According to my frined, the woman should be in a nursing home/assisted livig.

The Mother-in-Law intendts to GIVE her home to a grandchild and just move in with her son and daughter-in-law. The husband jsut intends to have his mother move in and to hell with his wife and children. He also seems to think that his mother can take care of herself and that his WIFE will help.

This was not a sit down discussion, asking his wife if it was all right, etc. He jsut said she is moving in, topo bad. Also, all financial burdens would then be on the husband and wife, because the house is being GIVEN away to someone.

 

[BeenAround]

And I assume this grandchild who is receiving a house from this mother-in-law granny - is not a child of your friend's - and that's what is really ticking her off. Does her husband care if his mother is willing the house to his nephew/niece rather than to his own children? That seems like an odd arrangement - if she wants to be taken care of, it would be a nice gesture if the mother-in-law would hand over her house to your friend's family as token of appreciation and compensation for the cost of caring for her...

And who owns the house that your friend currently lives ?

 

[nextwife]

Seems that at least Mom should use the equity in her home to pay for nursing help and equipment as needed rather than giving away her home and expecting her son's family to cover all her at-home care costs so that someone else can get a free home.

My mom had my Dad's dad in our home for a number of months after heart surgery when he was in his 80s. That was in the 60s/. I offered our home to my 85 year old MIL when she moved up here. I dunno, I was raised that that is just something one would do, help our parents and our spouses parents avoid entering a nursing home.

Has she tried discussing an alternative, such as a nearby assisted living facilty?

 

[JETX]

What is the name of your state? I don't kow what State.

Questions about U.S. law ONLY!
Isn't it incredible how many people respond to a post without even knowing what state laws apply???

 

[stealth2]

What is the name of your state? I don't kow what State.

How can you not know what state? If your "friend" hasn't even told you that much - what else hasn't she told you?

 

[leahg]

I am an American living in Israel. The "friend" is someone on a message forum, who lives in the States.

This is part of her post:

"Just this month my DH dropped the bombshell--75+ YO MIL is moving in in three months. She has been widowed for many years and has "yearned" to be "closer" to us. So she is giving her house to her favorite GC, ... She won't contribute anything to us for her stay here, I am sure because she is a "poor widow". I say, "What about when she needs a wheel chair ramp built or somebody to sit with her during the day, who is going to pay for that?" Stony silence or the LOOK."

and

"As of right now all I see is one HUGE responsibility added onto the too many things I all ready have to do, plus loss of half my house, she won't even have her own apartment, "she" didn't want separate living quarters..."

 

[carofl93]

I'm not sure about the legal side, but on the marriage side...I think that the husband in the situation should have discussed it with his wife. My husband and I have a very open relationship, and even when one of our relatives comes to visit, we discuss it first. I truly feel for your friend.

 

[stealth2]

I would suggest that you give your friend the url to this site and have her ask herself.

 

[JETX]

So, your asking non-legal questions about an imaginary scenario for someone else who lives you don't know where, right???

 

[gryndor]

So, your asking non-legal questions about an imaginary scenario for someone else who lives you don't know where, right???

You just had to pull out the Reality-Check card, didn't you?

 

[leahg]

Sorry, I edited for spelling errors.

This is not a "what if..." question.

I am a member of a forum, which discusses family problems. One of the posters has this problem and asked if anyone knows what HER rights are, as partial owner of the house.

I did a search and came up with your forum and posted the question to you. She wants to know what she can do to prevent this. No one has taken her into consideration. She has told her husband no way in hell and that if his mother moved in it would be HIM taking care of her and not the wife.

One must take case into consideration. I understand from her posts that her relationship with her Mother-in-Law is NOT good. Also, this is being forced upon her. Also, it appears that her husband is willing to take on the FULL financial burden of all this, without respect for his wife and children's well-being.

While I am not in her situation, I do understand her point of view. In my case, it would be the reverse problem. If it came to a point that my mother or father -in-law needed care, we would have to move them in with us by force. They would not want to be a burden to us. No matter that we would not consider it a burden. But I get along very well with my in-laws and there is MUTUAL respect on all sides. They would not be invading my home, they would be invited and wanted by all. They would also not expect or demand 24/7 service and force us to put our lives on hold.

The case I put before you is one of total disregard for the wife and the children. The husband wants to bring his Mommy into his home and have his wife and kids do the scuttle work. The woman does NOT want to leave her home. She wants to know where she stands legally.

If I have crossed boundaries here I apologize. I did not mean to troll, I was only trying to find information to help her

 

[leahg]

Posted in wrong place?

Should I have posted this in the Real Estate forum?

 

[stealth2]

Realistically speaking, each of them has the right to invite people to live in their home. It really isn't a legal issue - it's a problem between your friend and her husband. They need to either sort it between themselves (with or without a counselor), she can put up with her MIL, or she can move out. The only "legal" remedy would be to file for divorce.

But it would make more sense for her to seek detailed information herself, as so much gets lost in the translation in each direction. IMO.