Mother is adding info into agreement that is not there

[syskjw]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Fl
I thought visitation agreements are so people don't argue about their time.
The mothers weekend was Nove. 21 thru Nov 24 bringing her to school and this year she has her Thanksgiving.Mother is to get her the end of school day before Thanksgiving till Sunday evening( Nov.30). My daughter called her mother to make sure she was picking her up from school on 11-25 and the mother asked what does the agreement state. So the mother didn't know.And the mother brought daughter homeon Sunday 11-30 in the afternon because she could not remember afternon or evening. Now the mother thinks she gets daughter next weekend. The normal agreement is father or step mother brings child to mothers home everyother Friday 6:00pm and mother has her till Monday morning bringing her to school or fathers home which ever applies by 8:30am. Now correct me if I'm wrong but I have her this weekend dont I? Also mother told daughter she has her till the afternon on Christmas. The agreement read all even years the mother has daughter starting at the end of school day Christmas break till 9:00am Christmas morning and father has daughter Christmas morning 9:00 am to the end of Christmas vacation.

Oh I am the custodial parent daughter lives with me

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Fl
I thought visitation agreements are so people don't argue about their time.
The mothers weekend was Nove. 21 thru Nov 24 bringing her to school and this year she has her Thanksgiving.Mother is to get her the end of school day before Thanksgiving till Sunday evening( Nov.30). My daughter called her mother to make sure she was picking her up from school on 11-25 and the mother asked what does the agreement state. So the mother didn't know.And the mother brought daughter homeon Sunday 11-30 in the afternon because she could not remember afternon or evening. Now the mother thinks she gets daughter next weekend. The normal agreement is father or step mother brings child to mothers home everyother Friday 6:00pm and mother has her till Monday morning bringing her to school or fathers home which ever applies by 8:30am. Now correct me if I'm wrong but I have her this weekend dont I? Also mother told daughter she has her till the afternon on Christmas. The agreement read all even years the mother has daughter starting at the end of school day Christmas break till 9:00am Christmas morning and father has daughter Christmas morning 9:00 am to the end of Christmas vacation.

Oh I am the custodial parent daughter lives with me

I am a little confused by your post. However, a holiday trumps a regular weekend. Therefore, if this past weekend was your regular weekend, but mom got it because it was a holiday, she would still get her regular weekend this upcoming weekend. In other words, mom ends up with three weekends in a row because she got the Thanksgiving holiday.

 

[Ohiogal]

I am a little confused by your post. However, a holiday trumps a regular weekend. Therefore, if this past weekend was your regular weekend, but mom got it because it was a holiday, she would still get her regular weekend this upcoming weekend. In other words, mom ends up with three weekends in a row because she got the Thanksgiving holiday.

What Ld stated. And the whole bit about Xmas seemed rather out of place and not relevant. Was there a question regarding Christmas?
ETA: I went back and reread -- LD is right about Thanksgiving and as for Christmas -- good grief can't you and mom be adults and TALK TO EACH OTHER? 9 am or noon is NOT a big deal in the great big scheme of things.

 

[syskjw]

The court agreement is for 9am for christmas but mother is insisting she has her till noon. Mother gets daughter every even year on the 1st half of christmas break from the time school lets out till 9am when she is to return daughter back to fathers residence; every odd year mother gets daughter 2nd half of christmas break from 9am till the morning school resumes at 8:30 am when the mother brings child to school. We've had this visitation agreement since Dec 2005 and we have always done the 9am christmas morning swap. And this is the first time she has insisted after a holiday visit that she gets our daughter again the upcoming weekend. We've always continued with eveyother weekend after spring break, thanksgiving and christmas. For example spring break is 2 weeks and last year I had her and the following weekend she went to moms. Not saying I'm right but this is a first time theres been a issue. And I tried to explain to my daughters mom if we do do it this way 2nd half of Christmas is mine this year which is christmas 9am thru 1-5-09 school resumes on 1-6. That our daughter wouldn't see her again till 1-16.

 

[syskjw]

And yes 9am or noon is a big diffrence . On the odd years when I have her the 1st half of break I do christmas eve with grandparents and aunts and 5:00am christmas morning at home with my wife and kids so daughter doesn't miss out seeing any family and even year I go to grandparents at 10am and do Christmas at my home at 2pm. I'm not complaining about this situation. I work around it thats why theres a court order agreement so I can plan things around my daughter.

 

[Ohiogal]

And yes 9am or noon is a big diffrence . On the odd years when I have her the 1st half of break I do christmas eve with grandparents and aunts and 5:00am christmas morning at home with my wife and kids so daughter doesn't miss out seeing any family and even year I go to grandparents at 10am and do Christmas at my home at 2pm. I'm not complaining about this situation. I work around it thats why theres a court order agreement so I can plan things around my daughter.

No. It is NOT that big of a deal unless two so-called adults try to make it the be all and end all. So have YOU TALKED to mom about it and shown her in the order where it says 9am? Or are you just hollering and complaining that she is not going to do what you want by osmosis?

 

[syskjw]

no one is yelling or hollering and like I said before this is not a new order its been since 2005. And the time exchange for christmas is what the mother asked for during mediation.

 

[Zephyr]

no one is yelling or hollering and like I said before this is not a new order its been since 2005. And the time exchange for christmas is what the mother asked for during mediation.

maybe make a copy of your order for mom- so yall are on the same page

 

[LdiJ]

The court agreement is for 9am for christmas but mother is insisting she has her till noon. Mother gets daughter every even year on the 1st half of christmas break from the time school lets out till 9am when she is to return daughter back to fathers residence; every odd year mother gets daughter 2nd half of christmas break from 9am till the morning school resumes at 8:30 am when the mother brings child to school. We've had this visitation agreement since Dec 2005 and we have always done the 9am christmas morning swap. And this is the first time she has insisted after a holiday visit that she gets our daughter again the upcoming weekend. We've always continued with eveyother weekend after spring break, thanksgiving and christmas. For example spring break is 2 weeks and last year I had her and the following weekend she went to moms. Not saying I'm right but this is a first time theres been a issue. And I tried to explain to my daughters mom if we do do it this way 2nd half of Christmas is mine this year which is christmas 9am thru 1-5-09 school resumes on 1-6. That our daughter wouldn't see her again till 1-16.

Look at your calendar again, it would be 1/11. 12/6 is mom's weekend. 12/20 is mom's weekend (but also mom's due to the Christmas holiday). 1/5 is yours both normal and due to the Christmas holiday, 1/11 is mom's.

 

[syskjw]

no if mom had her originally on 11-21 her weekend and got her for Thanksgiving break which started on 11-25 thru 11-30( which 11-28 would usaully be mine). So that would make 12-5,12-19,1-2 and 1-16 her regular scheduled weekends. However Christmas this year I have my daughter the 2nd half of break starting christmas morning till school resumes which is 1-6. So the mother wouldn't get daughter till 1-16.And I spoke to mother this past Thursday asked her if she wanted to continue the visits they way we have been or does she want to do it this way going down the calender marking his weekend , her weekend and in the event such as like this christmas she wouldn't see her untill 1-16 rather than 1-9. She stated to me she wants her on her weekends so I said ok. Now my wife took my daughter to her moms on Friday with the copy of the court order. Not only did the mom refuse the copy of the order she stated why are you here it's not my weekend. My wife asked the mother are u refusing her; mother replied no its not my weekend but she can stay but she coming again next weekend on my weekend. My daughter was upset so my wife just looked at the mother and said I'm not doing this with you and told my daughter to have a good weekend and left her there.

 

[Ohiogal]

Why is YOUR WIFE interacting with mom at all?

 

[LdiJ]

no if mom had her originally on 11-21 her weekend and got her for Thanksgiving break which started on 11-25 thru 11-30( which 11-28 would usaully be mine). So that would make 12-5,12-19,1-2 and 1-16 her regular scheduled weekends. However Christmas this year I have my daughter the 2nd half of break starting christmas morning till school resumes which is 1-6. So the mother wouldn't get daughter till 1-16.And I spoke to mother this past Thursday asked her if she wanted to continue the visits they way we have been or does she want to do it this way going down the calender marking his weekend , her weekend and in the event such as like this christmas she wouldn't see her untill 1-16 rather than 1-9. She stated to me she wants her on her weekends so I said ok. Now my wife took my daughter to her moms on Friday with the copy of the court order. Not only did the mom refuse the copy of the order she stated why are you here it's not my weekend. My wife asked the mother are u refusing her; mother replied no its not my weekend but she can stay but she coming again next weekend on my weekend. My daughter was upset so my wife just looked at the mother and said I'm not doing this with you and told my daughter to have a good weekend and left her there.

I read the calendar wrong. However, that just balances Thanksgiving. Mom got three weekends in a row due to Thanksgiving, and you will get three weekends in a row due to Christmas.

 

[1confusedmom]

Ok, I am not a professional, but I had the same confusion with my holiday visitation.
I couldn't understand why EH would have the kids 2 weekends during Christmas and how I would miss one and so on. Here's the deal with Christmas.....

Holiday, summer, and special visitation takes presendence over regular visitations. My EH has our children from the day school lets out on the 19th (which would be my weekend) until 2pm on Christmas day.

I get the kids from 2pm on Christmas day until 6 pm on Jan.1st. This is to RESET the weekends. (so to speak)

Because his Holiday visitation falls during my normal weekend... I don't get to see the kids for 2 weekends.

This just resets the normal weekends for the following year...

If mom wants to see her daughter on "her weekend", then go by the CO. Plain and simple. If she makes a fuss about it, have her take it up with the judge. However, in order to support a loving relationship between your daughter and her mother, if your daughter wants to go to her mother's house, you should let her.

Sounds like you are confused. When in doubt... pull out the calendar. Make a his/her weekend schedule and give mom a copy. Let her know that if she wants something changed, she should seek the advice of an attrny.

In my case, I typed up a schedule outlinning what the CO stated and a detailed account of the dates in which I was to have our children, my desired summer visitation, (I get 4 weeks), and birthday schedules. I sent him a ceritfied copy and left it alone.

 

[syskjw]

The court order says father or step mother are to bring child to mothers everyother Friday by 6pm. My job is 45 minutes away but sometimes due to traffic it can take a hour and moms is a hour away. So sometimes I can't get her their on time so my wife takes her. And thats what I always thought after a holiday or break visit time the weekends reset thats how we've always done it. However that doesn't make it right thats why I was inquiring because this time mom said it was her weekend again. And then she pulls this mess when I complied with her wishes now my daughter will be there for 5 weekends and a row(that is if I take her there next weekend). And I have to wait to see what moms going to pull on Christmas.

 

[LdiJ]

The court order says father or step mother are to bring child to mothers everyother Friday by 6pm. My job is 45 minutes away but sometimes due to traffic it can take a hour and moms is a hour away. So sometimes I can't get her their on time so my wife takes her. And thats what I always thought after a holiday or break visit time the weekends reset thats how we've always done it. However that doesn't make it right thats why I was inquiring because this time mom said it was her weekend again. And then she pulls this mess when I complied with her wishes now my daughter will be there for 5 weekends and a row(that is if I take her there next weekend). And I have to wait to see what moms going to pull on Christmas.

Pull out your court order and read it again. Holidays do not normally "reset" the every other weekend schedule. They normally pre-empt it.

Take out a 2009 calender and plot out the every other weekend first, and then plot out the holidays that pre-empt the every other weekend. Follow that schedule. Give a copy of that to mom so that you are both on the same page. Then, if a disagreement happens you have something concrete to present to a judge. Yes, that means that sometimes one parent will get 3 or more weekends in a row, but normally it will balance out somewhere else.