mother neglects her children during her visitation

[jessica-r]

I live in Indiana and my boyfriend has physical custody of his 12 year old daughter. When she goes to her moms house she tells her to lie to us about things that happen over there. She gets mad if she finds out her daughter talks to me about anything to do with her. If his daughter tells us then her mom gets mad and denies everything. She also leaves her children, she has 2 other children 4 & 6, in the care of people who do not watch them and lets them run wild. Also when her mom is there she is usually sleeping all day (she works nights at a gentelmans club) and sticks the children in front of the TV so she can sleep. Even when it is just her and her 4 year old. She has all these different guys going in and out of her bed and tells her kids that they arent boyfriends, they just like to sleep together. She lives in a nasty trailor park where there are kids running aroud exposing themselves to her children and she still sends the 12 year old to the store by herself. If she has trouble controling her daughter she calls us crying, asking if we can do someting about it. My boyfriends daughter comes home with attitude because here she has rules and a schedual, unlike at her moms where she does whatever she wants. Also her mom babysits and makes the other kids take care of the other children so she can sleep. Is there any way we can stop this stuff from happening? Can we ask for supervised visitation, or use the right of first refusal?

 

[BelizeBreeze]

"WE" can't ask for anything. YOU have no legal standing in this situation.

Your boyfriend can ask for supervised visitation and will most likely be laughed out of court. Unless the ex is placing the children in danger (with solid proof) then supervised visitation is not an option.

The 'first right of refusal' is his only option but again, it works both ways. She could also ask for that same right and 'refuse' to allow YOU to watch the children.

So, so you really want him playing this game?

 

[jessica-r]

I dont babysit his daughter for him so NO she cannot use the right of first refusal, and second, I think of this girl as my own so I should be concerned about her well being. I know I have no legal rights regarding this situation, but the term "we" is generic. I am just doing what I can to find out the options that are open to her father.

 

[beenthere30]

This girl is 12 right? So does she really need a babysitter while her mother sleeps? I don't see a court doing anything about it. You may not like how she raises her child but unless the child is in danger and you have proof you are out of luck. Remember even if you love her like your own she isnt your own child.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

I dont babysit his daughter for him so NO she cannot use the right of first refusal, and second, I think of this girl as my own so I should be concerned about her well being. I know I have no legal rights regarding this situation, but the term "we" is generic. I am just doing what I can to find out the options that are open to her father.

Listen lady, I didn't piss in your cheerios so lighten up.

YOU can't do a thing. And yes, even if you don't babysit the brat, the ex can ask the court to put a stipulation on the custody order keeping you away from the child.

It's call Interference with the parental relationship. DUH!

 

[Ambr]

Man........if this is neglect, I am in trouble.

My 12 y/o has stayed home alone (for 8 hours) with us calling and checking on him and the neighbor on stand by in cases of emergency.

He also rides his bike into town (3 streets distance) to pick up items from the store for me if I am in the middle of cooking dinner.

I was babysitting my little brother at 12 and babysitting for neighbors at 13.

ALOT would depend on the maturity level of the child at 12. Don't think anything would really come out of it. Mom is there and able to be "woken up" if anything were to happen. Not outrageous to let the 12 y/o babysit kids with mom home.

 

[Ron1347]

I dont babysit his daughter for him so NO she cannot use the right of first refusal, and second, I think of this girl as my own so I should be concerned about her well being. I know I have no legal rights regarding this situation, but the term "we" is generic. I am just doing what I can to find out the options that are open to her father.

Well sure she can! Doesn't matter if 'you' babysit your boyfriend's daughter, or if he ever has someone else do it. If he does, then the mother can still claim 'right of first refusal' back at him. Point being, like has been indicated, it could still turn around to haunt him.