Mother refuses to give proof of daycare expenses, I can't hire an lawyer, need advice

[gml659]

Ray,

Just do it all yourself - Pro-Se.

Below is all you basically need to know besides your local court rules. Go to the www.courts... below and "Search" ****** County Court Rules and read up on all the various deadlines.

Under tiltle 26 look up the Child Support Change Guidlines --- two years OR any substancial change in circumstance. If you KNOW that the Court cannot rule against you what do you have to loose in going in --- they can just say you are wrong and go away.

Go to the United Fathers (ufa) www site and see if this may help. I went in and talked to these folks. They knew just as much, IF NOT MORE, than my $200/hr lazy attorney did.


http://www.washingtonlawhelp.org/

http://www.courts.wa.gov/forms/

http://www.leg.wa.gov/rcw/index.cfm See Title 26 Domestic Relations

http://www.ufa.org

WA is a NO FAULT state, affairs etc fall of deaf ears....as they should...it takes two to screw up a marriage. This said, if the KIDS are involved in the affair, interactions boyfriend etc, you CAN ask the Court that the Children NOT be subjected to these confusing circumstances. Chances are they WILL rule FOR you. It is, "IN THE BEST INTERESTS OF THE CHILDREN (BIC)". If your Ex is doing something that is NOT in the BIC then you can probably nail her. She can nail you to though. I would advise you to NOT use the Children as TOOLS. Don't Bad-Mouth. READ, READ, READ.

DOCUMENT everything!!! Keep a diary, use emails, use your cell phone, note EVERYTHING and KEEP EVERYTHING.......your EX should too. This way if EITHER of you act up to screw over the kids the other can go in for Contempt. Stay organized. Try to stay as unemotional as possible....hard to do.

The CHSUP you pay seems too high if I read right. She makes $13,000/mo and you make about 10% of this if I remember. This doesn't seem right. Keep in mind you are over $7,500/mo so the split is advisory. This said you are paying TOO MUCH.

Ignor the ignoramuses here. They are many morons on this site. Most cannot give anything substantitive.

GML WA State

Post again if you need anything else. I have MANY www sites.

 

[gml659]

OK. One more thing.

You all have a double standard here.

MANY women DO NOT work AT ALL during the marriage. MANY, unlike Ray, do not even try to get a education.

Ray and his Ex agreed to Ray NOT working. I think the Court will rule in FAVOR of Ray and give him a generous temp settlement. (Yet, he is a MAN....so alot of second thoughts going on in my head)

When I divorced, my Ex played every angle. When she worked she argued FOR compensation because she was OWNED to be payed back. When she WAS NOT working, she argued, she SACRIFICED so I OWNED her. The Court ordered me to pay for her Masters Degree....I thought was fair.

I was in Court the other day and the Ex wife (not my case another) who choose not to work in a five year marriage was awarded $2,600/mo alimony. The husband made $140K a year. She asked for $3,000/mo. Ludicris I thought...she just sat home watching Jerry Springer....she was white trash with a pretty face and nice figure....dumb ass guy. Ray should get something like this......yet, he is a man.

GML

 

[raymond/father]

Wow, there is some good advice on this site after all!! Thanks GML that is exactly what I was looking for; not all the BS I've been getting. I will visit these sites and thanks again!

Ray

 

[LdiJ]

Okay everyone, thanks for the replies. However we are getting off the main point; as stated "I want to pay what's fair". But, that is all I want to pay. She has so much money, not to mention the house and all the furniture and all the community savings she spent on herself. She is taking advantage of me and I want it to stop; that is the bottom line. Yes, I can quit school and throw away three years of higher education not to mention the tuition already spent. But, I will not go back to a job that after 20 years I hated (meat cutter). This is my decision to make and I have made it. All I want is her to stop f.....g with me! or does she get the right to do anything she wants as she has told me just because I'm trying to do something worth while. Seems to me that my problem is that I'm a man; you would'nt hear all this about a woman trying to finish her degree (started 2 years before the split) Thanks everyone!

Actually, if a woman were in your situation I would tell HER to get a part time job to supplement her income too.

 

[raymond/father]

LdiJ, more opinion, thanks.
Ray

 

[Hisbabygirl77]

Raymond Stealth and LdiJ gave you advice and good realistic advice. You however didnt like what they were saying but it was advice. Just because you didnt agree with it you think they are giving you crap. That is YOUR opinion. I just hope that my children NEVER get a school teacher with your attitude! If they did I would pull them out of that class so fast and trust me the school would hear about it. SO before you go bad mouthing people that were trying to help you maybe you should check your attitude at the door before you start throwing a fit like my two year old. People on here give you the realistic view even if you dont like it is how it is. So instead of just studying and reading your books you should learn how to adjust your attitude as I am sure you would expect your students to do when you start teaching.

 

[raymond/father]

hisbabgirl77,
I don't agree with you or them. I did not want to turn this into a battle of opinions, but what can I expect from people like you, GLM was right "there are alot of morons at this site". You will take your child out of my class. I love children and will teach them many things that will help them through life. However, I imagine you will teach them by watching Jerry Springer or Judge Judy and laughing at the same time; I will teach children inspite of their parents! As I have said at least three times now; if you have nothing good to say, than say NOTHING! But, thanks for the reply
Ray

 

[Hisbabygirl77]

Sorry I dont watch any of those shows and I teach my children good morals and provide them an excellent education. I volunteer at their school and am very involved in their lives. My older two were both reading at a 2nd grade level entering kinder and are straight A students. My son won a state spelling Bee in 1st grade. I am not a moron either I have a bachelors in Juvenille justice and work 40 hours a week and am going to school for my Masters so try again! Oh and and I have a good enough vocab that I dont have to reduce to swear words to get my point across.

 

[Hisbabygirl77]

Oh and I forgot to add I am done with you so dont bother responding your a bitter bitter man playing the poor me song and well I only speak to real men.... BBreeze is more my style lol

 

[raymond/father]

hisbabgirl,
Gee, did I upset you? Well I guess that children can be good students inspite of their parents! You must know my ex. I'm sure your ex. thinks of you exactly what I think of her. Have a wonderful nights sleep.
Love,
Ray

 

[Hisbabygirl77]

Hm I lied I will respond actually my ex and are great friends now and he tells everyone what a great mother I am to his children and how much he respects me.If you had read any of my other posts you would have known that. Maybe its because I have always acted like an adult and taken his thoughts into consideration and because I always, even in the middle of our divorce treated him with respect despite his faults. Try it you would be amazed how much of that example your children see. A parent who loves them enough not to act like a spoiled brat when life deals then some bad cards.

 

[raymond/father]

Hisbabgirl,
I thought you were not comming back? I'm glad you and your ex. can get along. My first wife and I are best friends, we have raised a wonderful 22 year-old (divorced when he was 4) my ex. even used her to get back with me and once we were back togather she said she never wanted her around or to call (I told her we had a child and would have to communicate) and still she was mad everytime we ever talked. However, my new ex. tries to make my life as hard as she can for no reason other than I caught her. All I want is to put an end to her constant controlling. And yes I am bitter, this I will get over but, I want to just pay my support, be a good father and get on with it. Can you understand that?
Ray

 

[Hisbabygirl77]

Yes THAT I can understand I dont understand you insulting people on this site just because you dont like the advice they gave you. You would get a lot further getting help on this site if you didnt have an attitude. See if you had posted like you just did without the attitude then you would not get attitude in return. Good luck with your schooling and future

 

[LdiJ]

OK. One more thing.

You all have a double standard here.

MANY women DO NOT work AT ALL during the marriage. MANY, unlike Ray, do not even try to get a education.

Ray and his Ex agreed to Ray NOT working. I think the Court will rule in FAVOR of Ray and give him a generous temp settlement. (Yet, he is a MAN....so alot of second thoughts going on in my head)

When I divorced, my Ex played every angle. When she worked she argued FOR compensation because she was OWNED to be payed back. When she WAS NOT working, she argued, she SACRIFICED so I OWNED her. The Court ordered me to pay for her Masters Degree....I thought was fair.

I was in Court the other day and the Ex wife (not my case another) who choose not to work in a five year marriage was awarded $2,600/mo alimony. The husband made $140K a year. She asked for $3,000/mo. Ludicris I thought...she just sat home watching Jerry Springer....she was white trash with a pretty face and nice figure....dumb ass guy. Ray should get something like this......yet, he is a man.

GML

Ray already does recieve alimony of 800.00 a month plus an additional 1000.00 a month from the sale of a business she or they owned. For reasons we on the board are not aware of, he was also ordered to pay 1100.00 a month in child support, which makes the net amount he recieves from his ex 700.00 a month. He chooses to go to school full time and to not work at all. Which he is perfectly free to choose to do. However, that choice leaves him only 700.00 a month to live on. He may or may not be able to get child support lowered. He is going to have to deal with the same judge he dealt with before...therefore its fair to assume that the judge may not change his/her mind.

However if he got a part time job, as say a bartender, on the weekends he doesn't have his kids, he could easily supplement his income to a greater degree than would be provided by a reduction in child support.

 

[jbachom]

The problem with your situation is that you used the word fair. Unfortunetly, and it is something I have learned over the past 6+ years, is that word does not exist in the child support system. I too have had my frustrations over the day care situation. (you may have read my thread).

I hate to sound negative and I am not trying to be because I am walking in similar shoes to you but here it goes. I pay for three kids and like you clear about 600 a month from my paycheck. My support is inflated do to my ex claiming she pays for day care but never can prove it when we go to court.(The courts/CSEA continue to award her money and let her promise to pay but she never does and admits it everytime we have gone back.) The thing though is that I worked a full time job and earned my Bachelor degree in three years while juggiling a new wife and child and trying to maintain a relationship with my other three. Is there anyway you could look into picking up some hours part time. Also, I would suggest requesting a modification from your child support caseworker, which is free if there has been extenuating circumstances like her signifigant increase in pay,but then again if it is anything like my state she may get away with lying like my ex.

Regardless, good luck with everything. It is hard to be a responsible dad like we are because we take alot of slack from the deadbeats out there.