Mother seeking Child Custody. What are my options?

[Just Blue]

I was going to file. But was hoping situations would change. I made mistake. If I would have filed first, I would have filed for restraining order and stayed in the house. But since he filed first, my case of restraining order would have had no meaning.

I have attorney, but attorney is not my therapist and charges a whole lot of $$ for one small line of answer. I dont have that much money either. Hence I need to ask to experts and that's why I am posting here.

I have a job that lets me work remotely all the time and care for the child, whereas my husband has a job which requires him to go to work every single day. Is this a good argument in getting custody?

Why do you think you would have received a RO?????

 

[Silverplum]

I was going to file. But was hoping situations would change. I made mistake. If I would have filed first, I would have filed for restraining order and stayed in the house. But since he filed first, my case of restraining order would have had no meaning.

I have attorney, but attorney is not my therapist and charges a whole lot of $$ for one small line of answer. I dont have that much money either. Hence I need to ask to experts and that's why I am posting here.

I have a job that lets me work remotely all the time and care for the child, whereas my husband has a job which requires him to go to work every single day. Is this a good argument in getting custody?

We're not your therapist, either.

I agree with Ladyback that you're to be working, not child caring, while working from home.

 

[Just Blue]

We're not your therapist, either.

I agree with Ladyback that you're to be working, not child caring, while working from home.

I agree as well. Dad likely has child in daycare. Baby will learn more socialization from there..as opposed to being stuck in the house most of the day with stayathomeWORKINGmom.

 

[jkleinsrc]

I understand. But why would courts give preference to childcare over his mother who can care better for him.
What kind of judge would deny a mother saying 'No he is better off at daycare than to be around his mother'?

I agree as well. Dad likely has child in daycare. Baby will learn more socialization from there..as opposed to being stuck in the house most of the day with stayathomeWORKINGmom.

 

[jkleinsrc]

I agree you all are not my therapist, but I am getting better answers from you all than my attorney who charges a lot and hardly provides answers. I am sorry but I simply cannot afford an expensive attorney.

We're not your therapist, either.

I agree with Ladyback that you're to be working, not child caring, while working from home.

 

[Ladyback1]

I understand. But why would courts give preference to childcare over his mother who can care better for him.
What kind of judge would deny a mother saying 'No he is better off at daycare than to be around his mother'?

You are suppose to be working! That's why it is called "working from home".
With a 10 m/o child it's not like you can leave them alone in their room for an hour or so to entertain themselves!

What kind of judge would deny a Dad the right and privilege of raising his child??

WHAT IS IN THE BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILD? Not what you want, not what you think will get even with Dad...

And once more: Why were you going to file a restraining order?

 

[jkleinsrc]

Well, Dad goes to office every single day from 8 am to 6 pm. So why cannot I get more time with the Child.
Again what I am asking is Sole Physical Custody with visitation rights for his dad.

Thank you for your suggestions, because I know his dad will argue the same that child is better off in daycare. So is my argument of 'I will handle both work and child' valid or argument of 'Why daycare over his mother for such a little child' valid?

I don't trust him and he has on numerous occasions tried to choke me and hence I was afraid if he receives a divorce notice from me, it would put my life in danger. Everytime when I was talking about divorce, he used to convince me with this and that....
I am surprised why he filed first..

You are suppose to be working! That's why it is called "working from home".
With a 10 m/o child it's not like you can leave them alone in their room for an hour or so to entertain themselves!

What kind of judge would deny a Dad the right and privilege of raising his child??

WHAT IS IN THE BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILD? Not what you want, not what you think will get even with Dad...

And once more: Why were you going to file a restraining order?

 

[Ladyback1]

Well, Dad goes to office every single day from 8 am to 6 pm. So why cannot I get more time with the Child.
Again what I am asking is Sole Physical Custody with visitation rights for his dad.

Thank you for your suggestions, because I know his dad will argue the same that child is better off in daycare. So is my argument of 'I will handle both work and child' valid or argument of 'Why daycare over his mother for such a little child' valid?

I don't trust him and he has on numerous occasions tried to choke me and hence I was afraid if he receives a divorce notice from me, it would put my life in danger. Everytime when I was talking about divorce, he used to convince me with this and that....
I am surprised why he filed first..

That is NOT what you initially said....You state no incidences of domestic violence!

and if you feared for your life, why in the name of all that is holy would you leave your child with him????????

 

[Just Blue]

Well, Dad goes to office every single day from 8 am to 6 pm. So why cannot I get more time with the Child.
Again what I am asking is Sole Physical Custody with visitation rights for his dad.

Thank you for your suggestions, because I know his dad will argue the same that child is better off in daycare. So is my argument of 'I will handle both work and child' valid or argument of 'Why daycare over his mother for such a little child' valid?

I don't trust him and he has on numerous occasions tried to choke me and hence I was afraid if he receives a divorce notice from me, it would put my life in danger. Everytime when I was talking about divorce, he used to convince me with this and that....
I am surprised why he filed first..

I call early weekend troll. for the ^ reason.

Call your attorney and get your answers. I, for one, just don't think a mother that gave a flipping fart about her 10 month old child would have left him with such a violent father.

 

[jkleinsrc]

I left the child to protect myself and I know child was protected Because I believe he hates me and he loves the child.
But I strongly believe as a mother I will be able to raise the child better. Dad is alcoholic too.

With No incidences of domestic violence means, nothing that can be proven, like we had issues and police came but out of emotions, I did not complaint about him that day.

He has audio recordings of me and my family shouting at him together. He told me that will go against me. Is that true? I don't care about divorce, but could that go against me in child custody and if yes how?

I am not lying, I have several incidents where he screamed, shouted and verbally and physically abused me, but no evidence at all and hence I did not mention this earlier in my thread as there is no meaning to mention anything without evidence.

That is NOT what you initially said....You state no incidences of domestic violence!

and if you feared for your life, why in the name of all that is holy would you leave your child with him????????

 

[Just Blue]

I left the child to protect myself and I know child was protected Because I believe he hates me and he loves the child.
But I strongly believe as a mother I will be able to raise the child better. Dad is alcoholic too.

With No incidences of domestic violence means, nothing that can be proven, like we had issues and police came but out of emotions, I did not complaint about him that day.

He has audio recordings of me and my family shouting at him together. He told me that will go against me. Is that true? I don't care about divorce, but could that go against me in child custody and if yes how?

I am not lying, I have several incidents where he screamed, shouted and verbally and physically abused me, but no evidence at all and hence I did not mention this earlier in my thread as there is no meaning to mention anything without evidence.

So now he is not only violent but a drunk?? And you left baby there all by himself with this man?/ Lady you just keep getting more and more ...interesting.

 

[Ohiogal]

Well, Dad goes to office every single day from 8 am to 6 pm. So why cannot I get more time with the Child.
Again what I am asking is Sole Physical Custody with visitation rights for his dad.

Thank you for your suggestions, because I know his dad will argue the same that child is better off in daycare. So is my argument of 'I will handle both work and child' valid or argument of 'Why daycare over his mother for such a little child' valid?

I don't trust him and he has on numerous occasions tried to choke me and hence I was afraid if he receives a divorce notice from me, it would put my life in danger. Everytime when I was talking about divorce, he used to convince me with this and that....
I am surprised why he filed first..

You want you want you want. There is NO REASON FOR YOU TO GET SOLE PHYSICAL CUSTODY. Seriously. Dad has equal rights. So he has tried to choke you yet you stated there was no domestic violence. You never reported it to the police and courts are used to women attempting to use CPOs as underhanded methods of getting custody. He probably filed first because quite frankly he doesn't want to be married to you.

And you are quickly losing credibility on this board.

 

[Ohiogal]

I left the child to protect myself and I know child was protected Because I believe he hates me and he loves the child.
But I strongly believe as a mother I will be able to raise the child better. Dad is alcoholic too.

With No incidences of domestic violence means, nothing that can be proven, like we had issues and police came but out of emotions, I did not complaint about him that day.

He has audio recordings of me and my family shouting at him together. He told me that will go against me. Is that true? I don't care about divorce, but could that go against me in child custody and if yes how?

I am not lying, I have several incidents where he screamed, shouted and verbally and physically abused me, but no evidence at all and hence I did not mention this earlier in my thread as there is no meaning to mention anything without evidence.

So he has evidence of you and your family ganging up on him. Yeah that can go against you. You have no evidence then it didn't happen. And you left a 10 month old with him -- even though now you are trying to paint him as a violent drunk. If he is a violent drunk, you are a neglectful mother who doesn't deserve to raise a goldfish.

 

[jkleinsrc]

Thank you. You are preparing me for tough questions that I could face ahead, so I appreciate.

I wont call myself a smart person, but I don't trust him for what he did with me, but I trust him that he will not harm the child.
Child is small enough to know about alcohol, so this really matters when child starts understanding, speaking and growing up.
I don't want any alcoholic and violence influence on my child when he starts understanding.

So now he is not only violent but a drunk?? And you left baby there all by himself with this man?/ Lady you just keep getting more and more ...interesting.

 

[Ohiogal]

So now he is not only violent but a drunk?? And you left baby there all by himself with this man?/ Lady you just keep getting more and more ...interesting.

If her husband is a violent drunk then OP is a neglectful disgraceful excuse for a mother. She left because she couldn't protect herself against him but a 10 month old baby is perfectly safe. I call BS. She is auditioning her story here to see how it would play in court. Well, quite frankly, if she attempts to use it, I could see dad getting sole custody because mom would be ordered a psych eval due to her poor judgment.