moving out of town

[Jodi0826]

What is the name of your state? Florida

I was divorced in 1998 and received primary custody of my daughter. My ex has visitation of everyother weekend and one night during the week for dinner. My now husband since 2001 is from Canada. He was awaiting a waiver of excludability to reside in this country but unfortunatelly his son in canada was in an accident and he had to travel back to Canada. Since he left this country while under review he is now not alloud to re enter this country. I would like to move to Canada and be with him. We have a 3 year old together and of cource I have my 9 year old from my previous marriage. My ex husband does not want to allow me to move with my 9 year old. He can not afford to take her full time (nor would I leave her) and he owes me about 3000 in arrears from unpaid child support. How can I get permission to move to Canada? He says if I leave he will charge me with kidnapping. Please let me know what I can do.
Thank you,
Jodi St Pierre

 

[oberauerdorf]

Please let me know what I can do.

YOU can move to canada with your child from your current husband. As for the other child, he/she stays here.

Unless, of course, you're willing to ask the court to allow you to move internationally, violate a standing court order for visitation and circumvent international law.

 

[nextwife]

"Moving Out of Town"?????

Isn't that a bit understating what you are requesting? Out of town implies maybe a couple counties over. Out of state means an even greater distance and impact on the visitation schedule.

You want to remove the child from the US and US jurisdiction. That is WAY more than "out of town".

Were this allowed, if he ever got ill or laid off and behind in CS, his passport would be pulled and he would be de facto prohibited from exercising his visitation AT ALL.

 

[stealth2]

I was just thinking the same, nextwife... FL -> Canada is a wee bit further than out of town.

If Dad is unwilling to take custody of the child, tho - a judge may well allow it. Of course, you would have to meet Canadian immigration requirements, and you should expect to be ordered to pay for round-trip transportation of the child back to Dad. As well as giving up the most of the summer with her. However, don't forget that his financial situation would be different with you paying support to him.

 

[Jodi0826]

Thank you for all your help....

I don't quite understand the quote from nextwife : Were this allowed, if he ever got ill or laid off and behind in CS, his passport would be pulled and he would be de facto prohibited from exercising his visitation AT ALL.



And I do apologize for the out of Town, I should have stated Country.

 

[oberauerdorf]

That's why there are no more debtor's prisons. What Nexie was telling you is that visitation, support and custody are ALL separate issues.

In your case, Hubby needs to get his act together and work out something with INS because it will be quicker than you trying to move with your ex's child.

 

[nextwife]

Yup. They are unrelated.

Also, I was referring to the law that affects NCPs who have an arrearage of a certain amount. Their passport cannot be renewed while that arrearage exists at a certain level, thus any parent who must use a passport to travel to see their kids (like a parent whose kids are not in the US) may not have the capability to travel outside the US to exercise their visitation should they have any problem getting their kids sent to them for visits. I do not even know whether minors are allowed (by the airlines) to travel internationally without a parent/guardian. This de facto inability to exercise visitation internationally does not exist for parents with visitaion needs within the US.

Anyone know? If they can't, you or someone will need to factor the cost of an escort ticket back and forth for every visitation. These would likely be at your expense, as you would be considered the one creating the distance.

 

[stealth2]

Yes, she will be able to fly from Canada to the US unaccompanied. At 9, there will be an escort fee (between $30 and $60, generally), and she will be permitted to fly with a stopover (and I believe a flight change if necessary). For documentation, she'd need an original birth certificate with her, or a passport.

 

[Jsteven]

Jodi0826's Hubby

As far as having my act together oberauerdorf I do. You make it seem in your statement as though i have burdened my wife with this and am doing nothing. This is so far from the truth. Under BCIS guidelines, the conviction on my record that makes me excluable, a waiver will not be granted. I have just spent 3 years in your country trying to resolve this problem. I don't appreciate the assumption that i'm not doing what i need to do. Make no mistake my act is together.

I have made a mistake in my past that i'm paying for to this day. I'm trying to do eveyrthing i can. It's not just as easy as "working something out with the INS". I was refused my waiver of excludablity on the grounds that i had mentioned above. Do you think the 18,000 dollars in legal fees that i paid for my Immigration lawyer were for nothing.

The next and only move i have is the waiting time of recieving a complete pardon from the Canadian government. When this is granted, my Immigration lawyer informed me that I will no longer be excludable. The situation at hand is that I may not remain in the US anymore By order of the BCIS (formerly known as INS). So on my end it is a waiting game.

Just to clear that up for you oberauerdorf!

 

[nextwife]

YOUR immigration issue has nothing to do with the fact that our legal system considers it the parent's and child's right to have an ongoing relationship. The father has a visitation schedule that gives them a frequent presence in his child's life. Your situation is not supposed to be the father's problem in accessing his child.

 

[stealth2]

Here's the problem, Jodi's hubby - you have, in fact, burdened your wife, her daughter and your joint child as a result of your mistake, whatever it may be. The time to have sorted out your immigrant status was BEFORE you got married to a woman with legal ties in the US and created a child (or vice-versa). Now, the two of you (I'm not letting her off the hook because I am assuming she was well aware of your status when the two of you hooked up) have created a mess. Unfortunately, a 9 yo child is sitting right smack dab in the middle of it. Nice going, peeps.

 

[Jodi0826]

You are right stealth2 in the fact that it stinks that my 9 year old daughter is in the middle of this but no one could have forseen my hubby's child being run over by a car and in critical care at toronto hospital for sick kids. I think anyone who is a parent would go to their childs side.
I also agree with having my daughters father have visitation, and i would never stop him from seeing her. His response to me today about taking her with me just for the year it takes to get his pardon was " yeah you can take her as long as you pay me money and go to court and say you dont want child support anylonger from him. I am fine with the child support being stopped since he never has a job and doesnt pay me anyway. I have a problme with him asking me to pay him money so I can take my daughter. I already offered him having her for the summer and helping with camp and all transprotation for visits. No this isnt what he wants all he wants is money. Thats why i have a problem. I made a mistake and married young to a man i should't have. im human and made a mistake. Now i have a good life, good job good husband and 2 beautiful children, but unfortunatelly you pay foryour mistakes.

 

[stealth2]

You're correct - noone could have foreseen your stepson's accident. But your husband - and you - could and should have foreseen that getting permision to stay in the US would be a problem. Realistically, the pardon's not a given. Nor is getting permission to emigrate to the US once he has that pardon. And that's going to cause a problem, regardless of your ex's faults.

 

[Jsteven]

Stelth You are dead wrong about the pardon!!!!

You need to read some canadian law as far as that goes beleive me i've done my research and recieve a pardon in canada is nohere near the same thing as it is in the US. No disrespect intended but you have no idea what you are talking about in regards to a pardon from the canadian government and what it intails. And a very well educated Immigration Lawyer has informed me that when my pardon is granted I will be allowed under BCIS guidlines entrance in to the country. Remember I recieve this information from a highly educated Member of the florida bar and not someone posting in an open forum.

And for everyone to assume anything that you don't absolutely know the situation is totally silly. You have no idea what is going on even if the ex doesn't pay all his child support or does anything other than play as a friend to his child. Or if he acts like a true father. Until you know the man known as my step daughters father don't speak about what that man deservers. You have no idea about my step-daughter or my family's background.

I don't feel it right to air my peronal life in totality with strangers.

 

[oberauerdorf]

And for everyone to assume anything that you don't absolutely know the situation is totally silly. You have no idea what is going on even if the ex doesn't pay all his child support or does anything other than play as a friend to his child. Or if he acts like a true father. Until you know the man known as my step daughters father don't speak about what that man deservers. You have no idea about my step-daughter or my family's background.

And you are well qualified to judge another human being right? Is that why you can judge what a 'true father' is and does?

Get real idiot. You're right about one thing. We don't care about Canada because this is the United States. Get that?

What you did or didn't do, what you can accomplish or not accomplish in Canada is of no concern to us because this site deals ONLY in U.S. Law.

And let's not even discuss the matter of you telling your new wife about your past, and that it MAY cause problems in the future. Remember that? You marry and take on the responsibilities of another child in a country where you KNEW you could have been deported, denied a permanent visa or any number of other outcomes.

As for my opinion, I don't give a damn if you ever come back. And if your wife wants to leave with you, good riddance. But that child will stay here. Know why? Because childern, in this country, are not possessions. Children in this country have a father and a mother. And you are neither.

So leave, and don't wait for an invitation to return.