My B/friends Ex Is Starting Trouble For Me With Their Children

[rt2busi]

What is the name of your state?[What is the name of your state? PENNSYLVANIA
MY BOYFRIENDS EX WIFE IS STARTING TROUBLE FOR ME AND ALSO HIM HE HAS COURT ORDERED VISITATION WITH HIS KIDS AND SHE WONT LET HIM SEE THEM CAUSE OF ME SHE IS TAKING HIM BACK TO COURT STATING SHE DOESNT WANT THEM IN MY PRESENCE WE LIVE TOGETHER SHE STATES THAT I AM PHYSICALLY ABUSIVE TO THEM SHE LIED ON THE COURT PAPERS. WHAT CAN HAPPEN?

 

[snostar]

First, do not type in all caps.

Second, are you physically abusive to the children? Have you ever been convicted of a crime? Are you mentally ill and unmedicated? Is there any evidence that would prove you to be a danger to the children?

 

[rt2busi]

No Im Not Abusive

Ive Been Very Nice To Those Kids I Bought Them Things They Needed . The Mother Even Called Me To Ask For Things I Think Its Just A Thing Between Me And The Mother I Stopped Doing Things For Her, No I Have 3 Kids Of My Own It Hurts That Shes Saying This. Im Just Afraid The Judge Will Make My Boyfriend Leave The House When He Gets His Kids

 

[rt2busi]

Also

Also The Children Are Liars They Made Up Things About Their Mother And Now They R Doing It About Me

 

[stealth2]

So.... is it the EX or the KIDS causing the problems?

 

[snostar]

If there is no possible way BM can show that you are a danger to the children or that being in your presence is somehow not in their best interest, then I won't be concerned about it. But intead of focusing on how this may effect your relationship with your BF, focus on how you can improve your relationship with his children.

 

[rt2busi]

i dont know

i think the problem is with the mother since i told her how it is going to be, the kids were fine in the beginning i let them go just so they would get a feel on me( to like me) and then i started telling the father that they shouldnt b doing things like jump my furniture or put gum on my carpet so they started not liking me i wont let my own do that stuff> the mother is stating that i shoved her son across the floor for not tying his shoes, i helped the boy many times to try to tie his shoes and i was especially nice to his daughter because she is the adopted one i liked her. then they started not liking me cause i asked them to follow some rules i had , like put plates in the sink after eating take off the muddy shoes that kind of stuff. i very much think its the mom that doesnt like me cause i told her to get a job and quit sponging, but it really hurts me that both the father and i have to go through this

 

[stealth2]

LOL Maybe Dad should be telling her "how it's going to be." If my ex's g/f (or his current wife) decided to tell me anything - about our divorce OR our kids - I'd tell HER plainly "how it's going to be."

 

[haiku]

i very much think its the mom that doesnt like me cause i told her to get a job and quit sponging,

Ya think?..............LOL

 

[brebre]

How old are the kids? i can understand somewhat, what your going thru. i am the stepmom and my husband ex have tried to do the same thing, but the kids are 9,11& 13. she used to try to tell them they didn't have to listen to me or follow my rules when they were younger. so i told the ex that her kids are no exception to my rules because i am married to there father, he didn't know this, at the time. but the kids knew what there mother was telling them was wrong, bottom line to the whole situation is that its not about you and the ex, but about the kids having a relationship with both parents and whomever they maybe with at the time, try to make it as stress free as possilbe for the kids sake.

 

[rt2busi]

i try to make it stress free and the father wont discipline

i am responding to two of the posts on my problem, i thank everyone who is replying, i try to make it stress free for the kids but the father makes it difficult for me, he lets the kids do whatever , the things i wouldnt let my kids do i dont let them do, and he cant open his mouth to the wife he is afraid of her i think everytime i tell him something he says for what so she can make life difficult.ive been there ( where he is) and i didnt let myself b ruled by the ex spouse. his children are 5 and 9 they liked me until i started saying no to things like handstands in my living room or video games and fighting while playing or instead of cereal they wanted chips, the father lets them do all this stuff, i know the issue is with the father about this stuff but he said if i told them they would stop. really i tolerate the kids they are difficult every one raises kids different he and his wife didnt take time to tell them the right and wrongs .the only reason i tell the wife things is im the one who has to take all the stuff going on it bothers me that i have a man that is scared of this woman

 

[stealth2]

So why are you with him? You don't like how he interacts with his ex, you don't like how he's raising his kids, and you don't particularly like his kids. Has it occured to you to find someone without these issues you don't like? Seems like a no-brainer to me.

 

[rt2busi]

i like you you are direct, he is a very nice guy and a good father but it is about issues with children both of ours we compromise on things, but there are some people who think that their kids do no wrong . he can watch his son hit his daughter and when she comes to him to tell he"ll say go play but if the daughter hits him hell scream. ive been with him for 2 years and this has only just started about 2 months ago. i guess its love and hope ( that things will change) and i never said i didnt like his children i just dont like how they act. would u let kids do that stuff in your home

 

[stealth2]

LOL Kids know better than to do that in my home. Because they know I don't do three strikes - break my rules and you don't get invited back. Period. I've had a total of 2 kids who've had that action taken over 13 years.

And I would never date a man who refused to discipline his kids.

 

[rt2busi]

well you see its not the kids i dont like its the things they do. my kids are at the age where i dont pick up after them much anymore and having little ones around again was hard at first , i told b/f that we would pick up on sundays after they left but it got awful after ahwile. and the kids arent used to living clean. so they thought i was mean. the daughter had head lice for 6 months everytime the kid come to my house the mother would ask me to do her hair i would then she would go home and get them again, im trying to figure out this problem, is it mine or not? but i cant let things happen around me or in my homethe boy will roll his eyes at me when i tell him to pick up his clothes off the living room carpet just stuff like that