My B/friends Ex Is Starting Trouble For Me With Their Children

[stealth2]

The problem is your boyfriend. It's that simple. He'd rather be their buddy than their father. I sure wouldn't want to live with that.

 

[rt2busi]

what can i do, i dont want to lose he just tells me to mind my own business but it is my business when money comes out of my pocket i live with him and i thought that people who make that commitment share all including bad have you ever heard of the phrase disney land dad i think its him

 

[brebre]

well, he does need to step up to the plate and be a father as well as a man of his house. he needs to lay down the rules and to let the kids know how it is and what it is going to be like if they don't follow the rules....it seems as though he wants you to do everything, but i know sometimes it can be hard to be with somebody that does not speak there mind.But it will be hard for the kids to be at one household that enforce rules and the other one doesn't.

 

[stealth2]

what can i do, i dont want to lose he just tells me to mind my own business but it is my business when money comes out of my pocket i live with him and i thought that people who make that commitment share all including bad have you ever heard of the phrase disney land dad i think its him

Yep, he's a disney dad. So you can decide if you want to put up with things as is, you want to be the bad guy, or you want a peaceful life with a man who is willing to step up to his responsibilities.

 

[howamidoing]

well you see its not the kids i dont like its the things they do. my kids are at the age where i dont pick up after them much anymore and having little ones around again was hard at first , i told b/f that we would pick up on sundays after they left but it got awful after ahwile. and the kids arent used to living clean. so they thought i was mean. the daughter had head lice for 6 months everytime the kid come to my house the mother would ask me to do her hair i would then she would go home and get them again, im trying to figure out this problem, is it mine or not? but i cant let things happen around me or in my homethe boy will roll his eyes at me when i tell him to pick up his clothes off the living room carpet just stuff like that

Why are you referring to children as "the kid" and "the boy" like they are diseased?

 

[Hisbabygirl77]

Stealth is right. When my husband I were dating ( I have 3 kids from a previous marriage) I made sure that we discussed our viewpoints on raising children. We went over how we would discipline what would be allowed and so forth. If we had not been in agreement about those things I would not have continued with the relationship. He also has a child from a previous relationship and we both wanted to make sure that if we did get married that the transition would go smoothly not only for us but for our children. When you have children or go into a relationship with someone who has children you need to make sure that you have a united front when it comes to those things. He is not going to change that is a fact. You get to decide if this is something you want to fight and struggle with for the rest of your relationship with this man. I sure as heck no I wouldn't want that kind of commotion in mine or my childrens lives

 

[rt2busi]

Why are you referring to children as "the kid" and "the boy" like they are diseased?

no i dont think they r diseased, its just easier to type , i can say the girl and the boy, its easier to type instear of daughter and son but then again boy is the same amount of letters as son

 

[rt2busi]

back to my problem

can anyone out there tell me if there is some way this woman(wife) can do what she has set out to do>

 

[lonelyandsad]

moms jealous

the mom cant withhold visitation becuase the fahter is dating someone else.doesnt work that way.shes in contempt for not allowing visitation.your bf should tell his ex that you have nothing to do wether he sees his kids or not,hes moved on,found someone new,and she needs to get over it.its nothing but jealousy on her part.

 

[rt2busi]

i dont know if it is a jealousy thing, it was a use me thing in the beginning, for some reason she wants to hurt him and she is doing that by using the kids and the only route she has is by saying its me, im just worried that a judge will believe her lies, i had a terrible holiday because of all of this there is so much to this than what i said , myb/f pays child support for his kids and i know that there is nothing that can b done about that, the mother is a loser out for everything , he pays enough each week and the kids really dont get any of it. b/f cashed in on his holiday time and got a nice amount, on top of her weekly support she got 450. of his holiday, which was supposed to b part mine because of the way we had it set since i paid most of the bills this month with my pay checksssssss, and when time came down to give me my money for my children to get gifts this year he started saying he wasnt responsible for them which i know hes not , but ! so i had only one paycheck to buy my kids and he watched me struggle with that. his wife got 450. and the rest of his went to his kids which i know every parent wants the best for their kids, and he left me on xmas to go to his mothers i had no invite but he says we r supposed to b a couple and he came home that night with a plate for me and was wondering y i didnt want it, and on xmas day he asked me how much money i had so he can give his nephew money for a gift. i know some people will think im a bitch but i have feelings too, he said i should just forget about it all but i cant im still too upset to go back to work. today is my birthday and he asked me for money, i should say where is your money from the holiday ( he had 3 times the amount i had) so he is hurting about his issue with the court so he picked it out on me. so what does anyone think, am i rotten or should i redirect my life or should i stay and forget about everything and let some wench state im a bad person with her kids, im a mom myself i am a good person

 

[stealth2]

Like I said before:

So you can decide if you want to put up with things as is, you want to be the bad guy, or you want a peaceful life with a man who is willing to step up to his responsibilities.

 

[rt2busi]

dont know maybe im a glutton for punishment all i want is A SIMPLE LIFE im the type of person who thinks everything will fix itself i guess my way of fixin things is foreign to the rest of the people involved

 

[SMURFEELAW]

dont know maybe im a glutton for punishment all i want is A SIMPLE LIFE im the type of person who thinks everything will fix itself i guess my way of fixin things is foreign to the rest of the people involved

OK here goes YOU aren't "fixin" things YOU are enabling you bf to be a lazy sponging excuse for a buddy (not father). So pee or get off the pot! Stop paying all the bills and stop raising his children for him. Get your stuff and YOUR children and get out. Then IF he grows up and takes on his responsibility MAYBE you find your way back together if not I bet you find someone who will not use you as a purse, babysitter and whatever else he sees fit. YOU WANT SIMPLE?????? CUT OUT THE DRAMA!!! Drop him and his ex and THEIR issues like a ton of bricks!

OR

stay where you are be miserable and stop pissing and moaning on here because if you are looking for sympathy it can be found between sh*t and syphilis in the dictionary.

Good Luck to you. I don't mean to sound rude an dharsh but at some point you allowing him to act or not act becomes a reflection on you and reflects you in a negative light to your children. Think of them first.

 

[rt2busi]

wow

i am not pissing or moaning i came on this to get a simple answer, hopefully somebody else went through what im going through right now, this only started a few weeks ago with my b/f, and about a year ago with the children. forget it. ill just read everyone elses messages its easy for someone else to say when they r not going through it. thanks to all who gave their opinion

 

[SMURFEELAW]

i am not pissing or moaning i came on this to get a simple answer, hopefully somebody else went through what im going through right now, this only started a few weeks ago with my b/f, and about a year ago with the children. forget it. ill just read everyone elses messages its easy for someone else to say when they r not going through it. thanks to all who gave their opinion

I'm not going through it? Now who is jumping to conclusions? I AM a stb step-parent and my fiance at one time was so injured he could not walk so guess who raised the child he had 50% of the time, and guess who dealt with the different rules different houses, who paid ALL the bills and who dealt with the fact that dad felt so guilty that he could not walk he let some rules slide and guess who was often tired and over stressed due to future hubby being injured and I worked two jobs and cared for him and the child along with fighting the Courts for his rights and paying child support. SO I DO KNOW!!!

What I was trying to say is that you need to decide if this is a man you want to be with b/c his "excuse" does not seem to be as compelling as a broken back.

You HAVE been given answers and when you reply to those answers you constantly complain about dad and his lack of discipline for his children, the children not respecting you b/c obviously dad does not and your children having to have more harsh and strict rules b/c no one will step up to mom and or dad in this case. As I stated I wasn't trying to be as rude and harsh as I know it sounded but again I say at some point you have to realize this is a situation that YOU are allowing and it is having a negative effect on your children (his kids getting preferential treatment). As I said good luck.