We are in the state of NC. My boyfriends daughter may be in trouble physically and mentally. Do we have grounds for a custody battle? She has shown up grungy every time we have her, always with more bruises than the last time. I don't mean bruises that a typical 4 year old would have but bruises on her chest and back as well as the inside of her arms and legs. The last time we had her was about a month ago and she told me that both her mother and step father had hurt her on the face. My boyfriend and the childs mother were never married. They had 2 daughters but one supposedly drowned in the bath tub while the mother left both girls in the bath tub unattended to watch tv. According to the coroners report the girl may have slipped and hit her head, but the girls lungs were full or water. I also tried to make my self slip in the same tub the young girl had died in and I couldn't do it not even with soap on my feet. It is highly rummored among the family that the mother murdered her own child. Chelsea has complained of syptoms to a urinary tract infection but was never taken to the doctor about it and the symptoms mysteriously dissappeared, could this be evidence of rape? The step father or some one in his family I am not exactly sure was convicted of rape on young children. Now the child has developed Scarlet Fever, we were never notified by the mother but instead when my boyfriends sister tried to see chelsea, she couldn't get ahold of the mother, but talked to the grandmother who claimed not to have their number and mysteriously a few seconds after talking to the grandmother the mother called to announce chelsea has scarlet fever. On top of all this I do not feel the child is getting the attention she needs nor the discipline. I run an office from home and will be home all day, my boyfriend is a repo man and only works at night, would that be anything to help or hinder our case? Please if you know of anything that can help I would appreciate it. It has gotten to the point that if they see our number on the caller ID they won't answer and we barley get to see her but maybe once a month. Also I have started to take pictures and write notes when ever we get chelsea. Again if you have any information or any advice I would appreciate it .
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My Boyfriends child may be in danger, does he have grounds for custody?
- Thread starter npatzke
- Start date
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Don't say we!! Don't say we!!! Don't say we!!! They will eat you alive on here for referring to you and the BF as we. While most people won't say it nicely it is true that in the eyes of the court there is no we. There is only your boyfriend and the BM. But I totally understand how easy it is to refer to it as we because out of the courts/in real life it is both of you taking care of her therefor it does become a 'we' situation. Good luck!
Thanks... I won't say we in court infact I more than likely wouldn't have a say anyway. But like you said in real life it is the both of us taking care of her and I say we to show my caring for her. If I wasn't to say we in this it would make it very unfeeling. But thanks again
Don't worry! I understand. Keep in mind you may not even be allowed in the court room though. Who knows. I am not a lawyer but I do think you are doing the right thing by tracking everything you can. Perhaps her father could call the doctor or hospital and request a copy of her medical records. I am not sure if that is possible or not but it is an idea. You may have to report it to social services thought to correctly follow the rules and everything. Maybe someone on here has some insight on the legalitites of it. Personally I would log everything and seriously talk to the father about reporting this abuse.
Jillian483
Member
Do we have grounds for a custody battle? No, he does but not you.
The step father or some one in his family I am not exactly sure was convicted of rape on young children. All people charged with sex crimes (after they reach the age of adulthood) have to register. This is public record. Get your states sexual predator registry search and put in his name. If he has been charged it will show up.
urinary tract infection : Usually caused by either wearing clothing around the genetilia that is way to tight and does not allow the area to breathe or from lack of cleanliness. A lot of women get these when they are pregnant too. This does not mean that she has been raped though.
always with more bruises than the last time Your BF needs to make sure that he takes pictures of all of these bruises as well as call CPS
the coroners report You might want to talk to a lawyer and see what can be done to find out what happened. Forensic science has come a long way in just a few years and there might be something that they can find that they couldn't before.
see our number on the caller ID they won't answer Pressing *67 before you dial the number will block it from her caller ID. You can also try phone cards
The step father or some one in his family I am not exactly sure was convicted of rape on young children. All people charged with sex crimes (after they reach the age of adulthood) have to register. This is public record. Get your states sexual predator registry search and put in his name. If he has been charged it will show up.
urinary tract infection : Usually caused by either wearing clothing around the genetilia that is way to tight and does not allow the area to breathe or from lack of cleanliness. A lot of women get these when they are pregnant too. This does not mean that she has been raped though.
always with more bruises than the last time Your BF needs to make sure that he takes pictures of all of these bruises as well as call CPS
the coroners report You might want to talk to a lawyer and see what can be done to find out what happened. Forensic science has come a long way in just a few years and there might be something that they can find that they couldn't before.
see our number on the caller ID they won't answer Pressing *67 before you dial the number will block it from her caller ID. You can also try phone cards
Unfortunatly my boyfriend is convinced that for the moment he wouldn't be able to get custody no matter what happens. The teachers at chelseas school have threatened to call social services on her but have yet to do so. Apparently chelsea has shown up to school with dirty unders on consistently. Another factor against my boyfriend is that we are only boyfriend girlfriend and chelseas mother has remarried no matter what his backround. Chelseas mother has also had two boys by her new husband and made a comment to my boyfriend, we really a question of " You would kill me if anything ever happened to chelsea right?" Of course my boyfriends answer was yes. This concerns me because I too believe that she murdered her child for the insurance money, at the time she was cheating on him and was planning on leaving. Leaving my boyfriend in quite a bit of debt that he has recovered from. When ever I see chelsea and her mother together, her mother puts on a show by giving her a kiss. As far as I know the only new clohting the child recieves is what we buy for her. Which is rediculous if you ask me.
I realize that I have no case and that is would be all my boyfriend, I am not that dumb of a person, when I was 12 my parent battled for custody over me. As for the urinary tract infection, SHE WAS NEVER BROUGHT TO THE DOCTOR!!! PLUS THEY DON'T GO AWAY ON THEIR OWN!!!! Trust me I know I have has my fair share of them from when I was younger, Children can also get them from bubble baths but that is besides the point.
Jillian483
Member
npatzke said:
Urinary tract infections can go away if you drink certain juices. I had one when I was pregnant and I could not take the medication so my doctor told me to dring cranberry juice. also if she didn't go to the doctor then I am guessing tha you self diagnosed her. Your husband should have taken her.
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Jillian483
Member
I would also take a picture of the child every time that she comes over to your house to show what she is wearing. I'm not sure how much of a case you would have though.
We would have taken her to the doctor but the offices are closed on sundays and her mother was picking up right after lunch even though we had only gotten her about an hour before hand. When a child complains that it hurts when they pee then what else are you expect, I know for a fact that chelsea won't drink cranberry juice or very many others for that matter. And I can almost be 100% sure that there hasn't been anything but milk, water, and soda in that house hold.
At the moment they do not have any court ordered agreement, basically just a handshake on it. For the moment Bobby doesn't want to try and get custody untill we have ALOT of proof that the mother is unfit.
At the moment they do not have any court ordered agreement, basically just a handshake on it. For the moment Bobby doesn't want to try and get custody untill we have ALOT of proof that the mother is unfit.
If the child is in danger how long are you willing to wait? I know that I used to run to Walmart and by Uristat until I could get into the doctor. It makes your pee a bright koolaid orange but it does take away the pain. Maybe drop that by her mom's house so that atleast you know you have tried to ease her pain. I know it would break my heart to think of her being that uncomfortable. In my opinion you should not wait any longer to get into court and start getting some set visitation time. Atleast then she can be well taken care of for part of the week.
npatzke said:
Is BF on the birth certificate.. has he established paternity?
I really don't see why a call has not been placed to CPS if either of you expect abuse. That is a no brainer there. If anything, CPS goes out and visits and if they don't find abuse or neglect then BF would have some type of piece of mind.
Also... FYI... if there is not a custody/visitation agreement in place then BM doesn't even have to let him see the child? Someone please correct me if I am wrong about this? I don't even think status quo would be in affect here.
Consult with an attorney and get some answers.... most will do a free consult.
npatzke said:
Your boyfriend needs to file for custody/visitation rights in court. This can be done without an attorney- difficult but not impossible. Read your states Family Law codes online to get a clear understanding of what constitutes abuse/neglect and change of custody. Once he has established rights, he can have consistent visitation with the daughter and be able to more closely monitor her physically.
If the child is as you say she is, the father needs to contact Children's Services ASAP. He also can obtain his daughter's records by written request (once he has legally established he is the father, which may require a DNA test depending on what actions he has/hasnt taken prior to this- Establishing Paternity in your state can also be reviewed in Family Law codes). CPS will interview her teacher/daycare providers and information re; their concerns will likely come out during that.
CJane
Senior Member
npatzke said:
Haven't I read a LOT on this board that if the paternity of the child is established, and there's no court order, than NEITHER parent is obligated to provide visitation? If that's true in most cases, then wouldn't it be 'ok' for the BF to just keep the kid next time mom lets him have her, and while the child is in his possession, file for custody?
Please don't take this as an actual 'what you should do' - but I'd recommend researching laws in your state, and perhaps consulting with an attorney.
And make that call to CPS. If he really thinks that the mother of his child killed one of them, and he's waiting around for 'proof' that something is happening, then he's mostly just waiting for a body.