My Boyfriends child may be in danger, does he have grounds for custody?

[casa]

Haven't I read a LOT on this board that if the paternity of the child is established, and there's no court order, than NEITHER parent is obligated to provide visitation? If that's true in most cases, then wouldn't it be 'ok' for the BF to just keep the kid next time mom lets him have her, and while the child is in his possession, file for custody?

No, depending on state law. In some states an unmarried mother automatically has custody unless/until the father files in court to legally establish rights.

 

[stealth2]

I don't understand the rationale of waiting to report the suspected abuse.

 

[CJane]

I don't understand the rationale of waiting to report the suspected abuse.

Me either. Of course, I don't understand the concept of urinary tract infection = rape either. Gawd knows my kids and I have had enough of them, and there's nothin hinky goin on here.

I find it interesting that in a lot of the cases that people post about, when they suspect abuse/neglect, they wait for proof - pretty much engaging in neglect in the process. If I thought someone was hurting my kids, I'd call DFS first, and worry about the fallout later. Better an unfounded report than a coroner's report.

 

[CJane]

No, depending on state law. In some states an unmarried mother automatically has custody unless/until the father files in court to legally establish rights.

Ahhhh. THat would be why I also recommended that he call an attorney. I just can't imagine sitting around waiting for your child to be injured, which is what it almost sounds like this man is doing.

And WHY is it always the NCPs SO that posts?

 

[TNBSMommy]

And WHY is it always the NCPs SO that posts?

I was wondering the same thing!

Unfortunatly my boyfriend is convinced that for the moment he wouldn't be able to get custody no matter what happens.

Until he becomes "convinced" his child is in danger, and is worth the fight, then this whole post is just sad, and useless...until he is willing to try and fight, nothing will be done.

For the moment Bobby doesn't want to try and get custody untill we have ALOT of proof that the mother is unfit.

He honest to God thinks the mother's neglect and/or abuse played a part in her other childs death and honest to god thinks the mother is abusing his child and he won't even fight for her? How much proof does he need to at least try? A coroners report on HIS child? This is ridiculous, going by your posts, if I was in his shoes, I wouldn't wait one second... as CJane said~

Better an unfounded report than a coroner's report.

 

[stealth2]

How much proof does he need to at least try? A coroners report on HIS child?

The other child was also his.

 

[casa]

Ahhhh. THat would be why I also recommended that he call an attorney. I just can't imagine sitting around waiting for your child to be injured, which is what it almost sounds like this man is doing.

And WHY is it always the NCPs SO that posts?

And CP's SOs. I often wonder and write the same thing.

 

[TNBSMommy]

Thanks, Stealth, I missed that....

To me that makes this whole situation even sadder...

 

[casa]

Thanks, Stealth, I missed that....

To me that makes this whole situation even sadder...

Also OPs post indicates that she attempted a reinactment in the "same tub"...which leads me to believe the father was with the mother at the time of the child's death and either did nothing, or defended the mother at that time.

 

[CJane]

Also OPs post indicates that she attempted a reinactment in the "same tub"...which leads me to believe the father was with the mother at the time of the child's death and either did nothing, or defended the mother at that time.

And yet - the Mother obviously has custody. SOMETHING is definitely 'fishy' with the situation.

Mostly off-topic question... WHY would anyone want to be with a man who obviously either cares so little for his remaining child, or doesn't have the cajones to act on ANYTHING (even murder)?

 

[Jillian483]

We would have taken her to the doctor but the offices are closed on sundays and her mother was picking up right after lunch even though we had only gotten her about an hour before hand. When a child complains that it hurts when they pee then what else are you expect, I know for a fact that chelsea won't drink cranberry juice or very many others for that matter. And I can almost be 100% sure that there hasn't been anything but milk, water, and soda in that house hold.

At the moment they do not have any court ordered agreement, basically just a handshake on it. For the moment Bobby doesn't want to try and get custody untill we have ALOT of proof that the mother is unfit.

You could try mixing the cran juice w/ other juices to get rid of the taste. I put vodka in mine but I don't reccomend that for the child.

 

[CJane]

You could try mixing the cran juice w/ other juices to get rid of the taste. I put vodka in mine but I don't reccomend that for the child.

Not that this is a mdeical advice board or anything, but cranberry juice does not CURE a urinary tract infection. It may prevent them (may), and it may shorten the duration of them, but it does not cure them once infection has set in. And alcohol is only going to make the probllem worse, since it's a diuretic.

 

[stealth2]

FYI - the white cranberry juice is less tart than the regular kind.

 

[Jillian483]

Not that this is a mdeical advice board or anything, but cranberry juice does not CURE a urinary tract infection. It may prevent them (may), and it may shorten the duration of them, but it does not cure them once infection has set in. And alcohol is only going to make the probllem worse, since it's a diuretic.

You know you are probably right and all of the doctors that went to school for all of those years are probably wrong. Good thing you cleared that up for me. I didn't put the vodka in it when I had one. Reread what I wrote.. I was prego. It was a joke.

 

[TNBSMommy]

Also OPs post indicates that she attempted a reinactment in the "same tub"...which leads me to believe the father was with the mother at the time of the child's death and either did nothing, or defended the mother at that time.

Yeah, I saw the reinactment part, how sad for the remaining child that the father still "isn't sure" what, if anything, he should do.