My children are sleeping on the floor!

[Helen6]

What is the name of your state? California
I have primary custody of my four children. The court order allows my ex-husband to have the children 9 weeks out of the summer, but he has just moved into a house with his girlfriend who has 2 children. That means that there will be SIX children in a 3-bedroom house for 9 weeks. Right now, during his weekends, our children sleep on couches and the floor. I would like to significantly change the summer visitation. Would this be a valid "change of circumstandes"? Are there any requirements about children sleeping in beds?

 

[Whyte Noise]

Not that I'm aware of.

 

[CJane]

Change of circumstance is usually marriage, moving far enough away to affect visitation periods, etc. I could be wrong, but I VERY seriously doubt that a judge would allow you to change visitation because you don't like the sleeping arrangements.

 

[stealth2]

I doubt you'll get far with this.

 

[Shel77]

I am not sure about her state but I know I have heard and read that children of certian ages and sexes cannot share a room but I guess if all the boys are in one room and all the girls are in the other that would not matter, I would make sure especially if your children are girls though that they are being given some sort of privacy in that tiny house with all those people. How do your kids feel about the situation?

 

[stealth2]

I am not sure about her state but I know I have heard and read that children of certian ages and sexes cannot share a room

That's not a law, rather a requirement when Social Services/CPS/DFC, etc get involved (i.e. if there are reports of innappropriate behavior) OR fostering/adoption.

 

[nextwife]

First of all, you have NO idea if they even will be "sleeping on the floor". He might be planning Aero beds, trundle beds, bunk beds or sharing full size beds with the other kids. Do you KNOW that there is no place for them to sleep, or did you simply DECIDE this?

MY mom grew up in a three bedroom flat during the depression, with 8 siblings, and not only did they survive, they thrived.

FYI- Until recently, and for a good year, my 7 year old daughter CHOSE to sleep in a sleeping bag next to our bed instead of her lovely bed in her own room (made up with down comforters, feather beds and Pottery Barn bedding) because it made her feel "safe". Sleeping on the floor has not harmed her at all.

I agree with the others. NOT having bedrooms for all the kids for visitation is NOT sufficient reason for a judge to stop Dad's visitation.

 

[haiku]

likely you won't get far...our 4 children total, when we are together, end up on couches, the floor, in our bed with us, and my girl who is now 7 has been found curled up with her 13 year old brother on occasion too....

its a sleepover! its fun, out of the norm, its summer, no school,pop the popcorn, watch some movies....

 

[stealth2]

uuh-yup. When my kids are here (either on my weekends or in the summer), they pretty much don't sleep in their beds. They camp out in my room, the FR (sometimes on the floor, sometimes on the sofa), out on the deck, in a tent in the back, pretty much wherever they feel like sleeping on any given day. School nights, I make them sleep in their own beds. The rest of the time? Hell - who cares? And..... on non-school nights.... I don't enforce a bedtime, either.

 

[nextwife]

uuh-yup. When my kids are here (either on my weekends or in the summer), they pretty much don't sleep in their beds. They camp out in my room, the FR (sometimes on the floor, sometimes on the sofa), out on the deck, in a tent in the back, pretty much wherever they feel like sleeping on any given day. School nights, I make them sleep in their own beds. The rest of the time? Hell - who cares? And..... on non-school nights.... I don't enforce a bedtime, either.

GASP! No bedtime? Sleeping on the deck?

I'm shocked! Where's the phone number for social services!

 

[stealth2]

Let them also know that I've been known to make funnel cake for breakfast on a weekend. With a side of..... ice cream. <----- according to their friends.

 

[stealth2]

Helen - the point of the silliness above (yes, there IS a point ) is that sometimes it's wise to choose battles. Is it REALLY a big deal if they're "camping out" during the summer? Absent any legitimate health reasons, this just doesn't seem like one worth making a scene over.

 

[haiku]

Helen - the point of the silliness above (yes, there IS a point ) is that sometimes it's wise to choose battles. Is it REALLY a big deal if they're "camping out" during the summer? Absent any legitimate health reasons, this just doesn't seem like one worth making a scene over.

exactly that!

 

[mom2three]

Sometimes you gotta take a deep breath, grit your teeth, and think: Is this REALLY going to matter 6 months from now? Are my children's lives/safety/wellbeing at stake here?

The answers are most likely no.

Heck, my kids start out in their beds, and by the time we get up in the morning, they're sprawled out on the floor, couch, chair.....

 

[mikeleslie87]

wheres mine?

hey stealth wheres my funnel cake and ice cream? IM STARVING!