My daughter father is in direct contempt of the child support order

[SWalker1]

What is the name of your state? NY

He was order to pay half of the day care and half of the medical expenses, outside of what is getting garnished from his wages. He does not pay for half of medical and only pays for daycare when he feels like sending the check. I filed a motion with family court. I am looking to hire a laywer, should'nt he be responsible for my lawyer fees because he is the reason why we are back in court.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

That's a decision for your attorney and the court to discuss. And please keep all of your posts together.

 

[SWalker1]

My post are together I asked a question pertaining to a seperate issue, this is about child support. My other questions were concerning what should happend during visitation. Thank you for concern.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

My post are together I asked a question pertaining to a seperate issue, this is about child support. My other questions were concerning what should happend during visitation. Thank you for concern.

But you brought up the issue of his not paying child care in the other thread but not that it was ordered or nor payed through CSE. You didn't say anything about medical, so these are two important issues, of contempt that will affect his petition for full custody, making your case better so important information to include with your other thread. Having all the information and issues makes it easier to provide advise. Since he has taken you to court, you still have the opportunity to bring up his contempt issues, seek the advise of an attorney, they can provide you with advise based on all your information.

 

[0000]

instead of responding with hostility, perhaps one of our senior members (such as Sheriff BelizeBreeze and Deputy Rmet4nzkx) could enlighten the OP, and others on this site, with their knowledge of day-care and medical expenses as it pertains to child support orders.

i for one still have not found any solid answer (generally, or for a particular state) on what is expected of the CP as far as providing receipts and proof of said expenses to the NCP.

but from what i gather, CSS agencies generally don't have any guidelines pertaining to this matter, however important. seems like they leave it up to the CP and NCP to hash out until either the CP doesnt get her check or the NCP feels he's being taken for a ride, and it has to go back into court for an official decree.

*

ajfai - because after filtering through all the hostility, not only do i occasionally find useful answers here, but from outside research and personal experience i myself sometimes happen to HAVE answers for others (!) i also like to FASCILITATE answers by calling the CSS employees who have hijacked this thread on their own sh*t. and being a member of this board also offers me a sense of purpose and belonging. my other hobbees include walks on the beach and laughing.

 

[ajfai]

This is for 0000

If you don't like the answers or nonanswers that you are given why are you still on the site? I am not trying to be rude or anything but I would think that if you are not getting the info you need you would find another site.

 

[Swany]

What is the name of your state? NY

He was order to pay half of the day care and half of the medical expenses, outside of what is getting garnished from his wages. He does not pay for half of medical and only pays for daycare when he feels like sending the check. I filed a motion with family court. I am looking to hire a laywer, should'nt he be responsible for my lawyer fees because he is the reason why we are back in court.

SWalker1 - I have similar issues with my ex not paying 1/2 of medical expenses. Unlike yourself, garnishements won't happen with my ex as he's self-employed. I'm in the process of taking him to court for Contempt on 8 counts of not paying Court Ordered Support/daycare. Mine is all lumped together....But when I asked my attorney if we could add in the three medical bills that I've sent to the ex to the Contempt, he advised that we should keep them separate. I know that one of the posts above claims that these Medical bills are hard to get paid by the other party unless you bring it up separatly in court. Not sure what to advise, but if it's a small amount, bill him, keep record of his non-payment and then take him to court when it get's large enough. Not an expert here, but thought I'd share my thoughts....

 

[LdiJ]

instead of responding with hostility, perhaps one of our senior members (such as Sheriff BelizeBreeze and Deputy Rmet4nzkx) could enlighten the OP, and others on this site, with their knowledge of day-care and medical expenses as it pertains to child support orders.

i for one still have not found any solid answer (generally, or for a particular state) on what is expected of the CP as far as providing receipts and proof of said expenses to the NCP.

but from what i gather, CSS agencies generally don't have any guidelines pertaining to this matter, however important. seems like they leave it up to the CP and NCP to hash out until either the CP doesnt get her check or the NCP feels he's being taken for a ride, and it has to go back into court for an official decree.

*

ajfai - because after filtering through all the hostility, not only do i occasionally find useful answers here, but from outside research and personal experience i myself sometimes happen to HAVE answers for others (!) i also like to FASCILITATE answers by calling the CSS employees who have hijacked this thread on their own sh*t. and being a member of this board also offers me a sense of purpose and belonging. my other hobbees include walks on the beach and laughing.

Regarding daycare:

It varies from state to state. Some states allow the ncp to pay their share of daycare costs separately, either as a reimbursement to the cp or even directly to the provider. In that case a receipt or information from the daycare provider would be necessary. Example: If you know your children attend XXXX daycare, and you know that the cost is XXXX a week, you won't get way with not paying your share just because the cp doesn't present you a weekly reciept. Other states include the daycare expenses in the child support calculation and it becomes part of the child support amount itself.

Regarding medical expenses:

A cp must provide a reciept to an ncp to verify the expense. There are no time limits generally, however many court orders include time frames under which the reciept must be presented to the ncp, and the reimbursement made to the cp.

 

[stealth2]

ajfai - because after filtering through all the hostility, not only do i occasionally find useful answers here, but from outside research and personal experience i myself sometimes happen to HAVE answers for others (!) i also like to FASCILITATE answers by calling the CSS employees who have hijacked this thread on their own sh*t. and being a member of this board also offers me a sense of purpose and belonging. my other hobbees include walks on the beach and laughing.

WHo's a CSS employee? And honestly, quad-0, the majority of your responses tend to be rants against CPs, rather than any attempt at providing the answers a poster is looking for.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

instead of responding with hostility, perhaps one of our senior members (such as Sheriff BelizeBreeze and Deputy Rmet4nzkx) could enlighten the OP, and others on this site, with their knowledge of day-care and medical expenses as it pertains to child support orders.

i for one still have not found any solid answer (generally, or for a particular state) on what is expected of the CP as far as providing receipts and proof of said expenses to the NCP.

but from what i gather, CSS agencies generally don't have any guidelines pertaining to this matter, however important. seems like they leave it up to the CP and NCP to hash out until either the CP doesnt get her check or the NCP feels he's being taken for a ride, and it has to go back into court for an official decree.

*

ajfai - because after filtering through all the hostility, not only do i occasionally find useful answers here, but from outside research and personal experience i myself sometimes happen to HAVE answers for others (!) i also like to FASCILITATE answers by calling the CSS employees who have hijacked this thread on their own sh*t. and being a member of this board also offers me a sense of purpose and belonging. my other hobbees include walks on the beach and laughing.

0000,
What are you talking about?
When I replied to the childcare issue it was because OP had another thread where she had mentioned it but not that it was court ordered. That fact was necessary to answer her questions about her upcomming court hearing for custody her ex brought. By starting another thread, rather than including it with her original thread it made a difference in the advice she would get on either thread. We commonly ask posters to include all the facts on one thread, I also have no idea how you would ever equate that as either BB or myself being sheriff, deputy or CSE employees. You have both a reality and an agenda problem. You are not facilitating anything, you are hijacking the thread for your own rants. OP's question has been answered in part, but only because it was not included on the main thread. I take it you have a problem finding answers because you are asking the wrong people, question or not getting the answers you want. Life is not always fair so don't attack the messenger because you don't like the message.

 

[0000]

RE: Daycare Expenses

Regarding daycare:

It varies from state to state. Some states allow the ncp to pay their share of daycare costs separately, either as a reimbursement to the cp or even directly to the provider. In that case a receipt or information from the daycare provider would be necessary. Example: If you know your children attend XXXX daycare, and you know that the cost is XXXX a week, you won't get way with not paying your share just because the cp doesn't present you a weekly reciept. Other states include the daycare expenses in the child support calculation and it becomes part of the child support amount itself.

Regarding medical expenses:

A cp must provide a reciept to an ncp to verify the expense. There are no time limits generally, however many court orders include time frames under which the reciept must be presented to the ncp, and the reimbursement made to the cp.

thanks LdiJ. hopefully that info was helpful to the OP as well. the biggest loophole i see (depending on the state of course) is that the NCP isnt included in the cost-verification process if a CP requests (through CSS) that daycare expenses be added onto the current order.

such calculations/modifications should be three-way, not just between CP and CSS. i don't entirely believe that a CS agent would spend any time trying to verify a receipt a CP presents to her; they are already overworked.

i'm truly surprised that there is not just a daycare "allowance", like a voucher, which charges an NCP a fixed amount, and leaves the difference up to the CP to cover (so that she can't pad the bill, and/or if she feels like splurging on a fancy center, SHE is responsible).

 

[LdiJ]

thanks LdiJ. hopefully that info was helpful to the OP as well. the biggest loophole i see (depending on the state of course) is that the NCP isnt included in the cost-verification process if a CP requests (through CSS) that daycare expenses be added onto the current order.

such calculations/modifications should be three-way, not just between CP and CSS. i don't entirely believe that a CS agent would spend any time trying to verify a receipt a CP presents to her; they are already overworked.

i'm truly surprised that there is not just a daycare "allowance", like a voucher, which charges an NCP a fixed amount, and leaves the difference up to the CP to cover (so that she can't pad the bill, and/or if she feels like splurging on a fancy center, SHE is responsible).

In the states where child support is included in the CS calculation (therefore the CS order) the amounts ARE verified/properly documented unless they are in line with prevailing rates....or unless they are unchallenged by the ncp.

My ex and I stipulated that our child would have an in home nanny when she was young...and we had serious money...sigh...we BOTH got totalled by 9/11...and we were each responsible for 50%, including her employment taxes. I voluntarily reduced it (we set up child support so that we could make changes on our own...without involving the courts unless we had a dispute...and believe me our attorneys fought us tooth and nail on that issue..but WE won)..to him being responsible for 1/3, when she started school...because the nanny started taking on more housekeeping responsibilities when our child started school...so I felt that was only fair.

Now that I really DO need CS, BADLY...I am not getting ANY...again, because we were both totalled by 9/11 and have not yet recovered....however I have NOT taken him to court and I won't. Why? because we are friends and I trust him. He will make it up to both of us some day, probably when she is in college. Trust is a beautiful thing

So realize that not all mothers are greedy, "you know what's..." Some of us actually have GOOD relationships with our ex's and are even "heaven forbid" FRIENDS. My relationship with my ex is like having another brother. Was it easy to get to that point? HECK NO. Did we both have to work hard at it and leave our "egos at the door"? HECK YES. Were there times when we each wanted to kick the other's backside's? HECK YES.....had one of those recently..lol

I will admit though, that we have been really lucky. It think its because we never lost the "fundamental trust"...and because we never had a real custody battle. He always believed that she belonged with me...and I always believed that she should see him as often as possible. We actually drove our attorneys nuts when we divorced...his more than mine. Everything in our divorce was contrary to "prevailing" norms.

We stipulated "liberal visitation"...he saw her almost daily up until he moved out of state (valid reason).

We stipulated that the CS agency WOULD NOT be involved in our case, that he would pay me child support directly and that we would make changes on our own without involving the courts unless we couldn't agree....that part REALLY frustrated the attorneys...LOL

We even stipulated that that he came to my house for "Christmas Morning" every year...and he always got here before she woke up so she always had Christmas Morning with both mom and dad.

The bottom line is that it IS possible for mom and dad to be friends, trust each other, work together etc. Its not easy...its DARNED HARD, but it CAN BE DONE. However its all about "trust".